Do You Ever Fake It Til You Make It?

Image Courtesy of artur84
www.freedigitalphotos.net

Today, I want to share an article, which I will list at the end of this page.  I think it sums up some of what we have to do when we are working on our habits and our attitudes.  I can think of many excellent ways to apply the information by Karen Koenig, therapist and author of Normal Eating.   Practice:  does it ever end?  Sometimes, I think not, as I learn and hopefully improve my own actions, thoughts, and feelings in life.

However, I have to admit I do have an aversion to being fake, so where do I draw the line?  I want to be authentic.  Is there a place you draw the line?

Let's explore that by listing some of the ways we might "fake it 'til we make it."  Perhaps you can add some ways you have done this in our discussion on facebook or here in our comments.

Ways I have or am working on faking it until I make it:

• I am not totally sure this applies, because it is such an ongoing thing, and I honestly do keep working at this;  however, I am not completely there (wherever there is) yet.  It is the area of keeping down clutter in the house.  I have made such wonderful progress over the last five years in that area;  however, sometimes my house gets out of hand when I am working on a project or life takes over in unexpected ways.  Then, I have to regroup; and, I used to feel like I was starting all over again, but that has changed.  Now, I have all the habits and things I have learned and relearned whch fall back into place so much easier than before.  Moreover, I have made such great progress in getting rid of years of stuff that I think most people tend to save if they have room, which we do not have in this particular house.  I am not done yet, but I am closer.  And, it is actually fun when you realize that you are freer by being able to get rid of the detritus.
• Emotions is a hot topic.  But, I have a body that gets that cortisol thing going when I get anxious and upset.  It starts a cycle that can get out of hand, because it hurts so much.  I hate that chemicals in our body have such power over our physical selves and our brains;  but, I am certain that is part of my genetic makeup.  And, it also is part of what makes me sensitive to how others feel.  The things that help me and have helped me in the past are: prayer, scripture, relaxation techiniques, running (I can't do that now), walking on the beach or in a park, reading, even playing a game (unless the computer is fueling my anxiety), doing a crossword puzzle, cleaning house.  Ha, ha, I never thought that last one would show up on my list, but if clutter is the source of the anxiety it makes me feel better to have neat and organized surroundings

My list is not exhaustive, because I only meant it as an example, and I am not so concerned with the past, so much as how this can help us now.  Although, I did think about one that applies that happened to me today.  My dog is super sensitive to my emotions.  She even gets diarrhea when I am upset.  I am pretty sure that is the connection to her tummy problem.  Today, I was dealing with something that has had my cortisol flowing like crazy streams.  My anxiety was palpable, like you could touch it.  And, I saw her cringe.  I realized she was feeling my upset.  So, "Fake It Until I Make It"  went into immediate action.  We have a game where I say, "Let's cuddle-buddle."  She jumps on the bed.  I lay across it, and she gets a tummy rub.  It started when I was not able to get down on the floor before my hip surgery when she was a puppy.  She is the only dog that has ever been allowed on the furniture or in the bed.  I realize I have totally spoiled her in that one way.  

The thing is the actions I took with our dog actually helped me feel better.  Now, I am writing and I feel pretty good.  Admittedly, I took half of a pill for anxiety, but this time I had to.  I am so glad that panic attacks are not something that regularly happen to me anymore, but I do keep my medicine on hand for the rare moments.  Lately, I have cut them in half, because I so rarely need them, a whole tab makes me feel sleepy.  From my view, that is progress.  

I hope this helps you in some way.  I can see many ways to apply Koenig's excellent article.  I am so glad she reached out past her practice to help people.  She could not possibly see all the people she has encouraged.  Here is the link:  Fake It Til You Make It Equals Practice.

Looking for Balance and Saying Bye to the Moody Blues

I chose this picture, because it reminded me of balance.
I have let my life get out of balance, and I am ready
to truly work on me.  I need to work on me.
It's alright to take the time to concentrate on yourself,
because caring for one's self when you have a
chronic  illness can be a full-time job.  
Sometimes, it takes a special effort to get back on track.
{ Image Courtesy of  [Ambro] / FreeDigitalPhotos.net }

Do you ever get so tired of doing something for yourself, you only do it half-heartedly or not at all?  I hope you are saying yes, because I don't want to be the only one sluffing off on my duty to care for myself.  Oh dear, I just realized how awful that sounds, because I don't want you to stop caring for yourself either.  Forgive me for the misery loves company bit:  if you are doing everything right, I am so pleased you are doing better than me in this area.

For the last few weeks, I have found my depression getting worse.  Usually, if I am patient and wait it out, I get back on the right track;  however, my lack of motivation has been affecting me in enough ways, that I know I am depressed.  This is common in chronic illnesses, and it is sometimes surprising that we fair as well as we do.  However, I think with proper medical counseling, as well as mental counseling at sometime, one can find a way through the emotions of loss and frustration.  I have done both during the years I have struggled with being ill; but this time, I have had to take responsibility and look at my situation, even though I wanted to ignore it.

The other strong support is spiritual support, which is something I have been avoiding the last few weeks, except for brief forays into reading my Bible and praying.  Of course, I also believe in praying without ceasing, but that is hard to do when you bring a cacophony of noise into your life through computer, television, and novels, and you ignore the truly important things.  Why I do that is something I do not understand, unless I am trying to hide from the things I really need to look at.

So, what is my revelation?  It is simple and I had not even considered it over the last month.  I had considered my lack of care for myself.  I had grown lazy about taking my meds and supplements.  I was non-compliant and tired of swallowing pills, so I constantly put off making this important in my life.  Therefore, this weekend I filled up my pill containers, and I am taking them at meal times.

However, today I had the big revelation.  I had quit taking my fish oil. For some reason, I had read something online saying it did not really do anything;  and, I found that a wonderful excuse to stop swallowing that capsule.   However, I have found many more articles that support taking fish oil for depression.  And, I know I was doing better before I stopped.  So today, I am starting with 2 capsules containing 2400 mg. twice a day.  I will let you know if I feel any improvement in a few weeks.  I will be your guinea pig.  If I forget to let you know the results, remind me.

When living with chronic illness, it is extremely important to care for yourself.  How can you do the things you want to do for your loved ones and take care of your home, as well as other things you desire to do, when you do not care for yourself?  I don't need to answer that one, do I?

I am adding a simple list to encourage anyone that is in a low place right now.  Perhaps, you need to make your own list.  Your goals may be different than mine.

Things I Want to Work On

1. Prepare medicine and supplements for the week ahead of time.  Keep them by the place you usually eat.
2. Brush your teeth daily and take a shower at least every other day, depending on necessity.
3. Dress in clothes everyday.  I know I said it is ok to have pajama days;  however, many people do not truly feel  ready for working in pajamas -- even doing housework.  It is too easy to sit, because we relate pj's with rest.
4. 1 - 3 jobs a day minimum for those that are able would be a good goal.  1 one of those jobs can be getting out of the house.  I know I spend far too much time in my home.  Later, maybe we can explore things to do when we get of the house.  I am aiming for 3 jobs a day, because I have felt physically ready for a couple of weeks.  
5. Plan a treat for finishing your chores.  And remember, we are aiming for done -- not perfect.  After all, we live in our homes:  they will not continually look like a magazine page, if they ever did.  Enjoy your home.  (Your home may or may not look like a magazine page, but somehow magazine pages are always a little too perfect for how mine ends up.  Sometimes, some smart person will add something to make a house looked lived in, but I am betting most photographed houses do not stay that way.)

Make This a Week of Change

Every day is new, as is every week.  Do you have changes you would like to work on in your life?  Do you ever have lapses you worry about, because you are not as disciplined as you think you should be?  Get rid of those shoulds and start looking at the coulds. Say to yourself, "I could start with a baby step to work on the "habit"  I have been doing poorly."  

Or, you can join me in working on taking your prescriptions and supplements regularly.

Oops! I Forgot I Was Having Friends Over

Image Courtesy of  [stockimages]/FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Have you ever forgotten you were going to have out of town visitors, whom you had not seen for years?  Not only had you not seen them for years, they were the kind of friends that were like a sister and a brother.  Moreover, to top the fact you did not remember they were coming -- you had invited them for a meal.  

Yep!  I did forget!  I couldn't believe I did that.

When my friends called on New Years Eve to say they would be here for lunch, there was no way I was going to say, "You can't come over, because  I momentarily forgot you were coming.  So sorry I've been in pain all week and I haven't done much in the house.  Oh!  I've had brain fog too.  Even though I haven't seen you for 13 years,  it just slipped my mind.  Brain fog, post Christmas lag, and mind-numbing pain have been my nemesis the last few days." 

Last year, I would have been full of anxiety and embarrassment over the state of my home.  I would have looked forward to their visit;  yet, I would have dreaded it at the same time.  However, last night, I was excited and I was calm.  The house was clean enough, except for one room:  the dining room, which is also my work room.   By the way, it would have been clean if I had not been tired and in pain before we left to visit our children and their families for Christmas.

Christmas Projects and
Last Minute Wrapping Station

What a relief!  There was only one room that absolutely had to be cleaned:  and, I wasn't feeling guilty over all the things I had not done, because I am learning to be successful at cleaning and getting rid of the clutter in baby steps.  One room was doable!  I would not feel rushed.

If you are wondering why I am telling you about my near mishap, it is because I did not get to this point overnight.  It took me three and a half years to get to the point I am now.  Learning new ways of doing what was easy before you were sick takes time and perseverance.  It also takes time to find out what works for you, not to mention overcoming flares and relapses along the way. 

Teens' Table

Yesterday, there was
wrapping paper
and bows in this area.

Finally, these are 6 things that made my job easier today:

• I have steadily gotten rid of the clutter in my house for three and a half years.  Last year, I decided to declutter 365 items, one for every day of the year and I kept a journal listing those things.
• Two major habits of the month have made keeping the clutter out of the rooms in our house simpler, especially in the living room and the area around my recliner:  1)  Never leave a room empty-handed.  2)  Declutter your "hot spots" for 15 minutes every day.  Click on this link for FlyLady's Definition of "Hot Spot."
• My bathrooms were clean.  I spiffed them up with a quick squirt of toilet cleaner and using the brush in the toilet bowl.  Also, I wiped the sinks, counter tops, and toilet seats with a handy disposable germicidal wipe.  Hint:  Wear a disposable glove to protect your skin from harsh chemicals.  Rubbing alcohol on folded toilet tissue paper also works  in a pinch for a quick swipe in the bathroom.   
• Make the bed every day with a coverlet or comforter that is easy to pull up to the head of the bed.My DH gets up before I do and pulls his side up, and he puts the pillow with the pillow sham on top of his pillow.  When I get up, I pull my covers up on my side and put the pillows in their proper places.  If I am feeling well extra neat, I go over to my hubby's side and smooth the covers.  
• 
    
• Planning ahead for today's menu made my job easier.  I had planned a slow cooker meal, and all I had to do was double it.  (My sweet DH went to the grocery store and bought two more cans of black-eyed peas.)  Maybe, I should start a file of easy recipes and always keep those ingredients on hand.
• I let my sister-friend help me make the salad and put assorted beverages on the kitchen counter;  moreover, she knew what her family liked.  Their three teenage  children were visiting too.  Plus, we got in a little bonus girl time. 

 

Hosts' and Parents' Table

We had a wonderful visit, and we had time to sit in the living room after we ate to visit with the entire family in the same room.  Everyone was included in visiting and talking;   moreover, I think our "niece and nephews"  enjoyed our time together too.

P.S.  When you have a guest that is not feeling well, having a clean bedroom for him or her to lie down is a bonus.  Yes, that happened too;  and, he was able to take a nap.  All I had to do was pull the covers back, and our friends' oldest could lie down with no hassle, no clearing the bed.  I could not have done that a year ago on short notice.       

Tomorrow or Friday, I will share some easy recipes with you, including our slow cooker meal for today.  I have promised to share  this recipe with our friends, who visited today.

Any appearances of perfectionism was unintended.  We did not even vacuum the carpet or sweep the porch.  I still had an unpacked suitcase in my bedroom and a clothes basket with clothes in it.  The house was reasonably clean.  

Clean Is Possible

Seeing this picture of my dusted, neatly displayed books, and other items is a lift to the hope in my heart, that I can get to the point of being able to easily keep my house clean and uncluttered.  The bookcases were the last things I cleaned in the living room.  I usually give them a quick once-over, but this time I took the two days to do the job right.  

Sore knees, as well as tired and achy body, slow me down;  however, they don't have to keep me down.  Nor, do similar conditions have to keep you from doing things you would like to get done.  

Sometimes, persevering and sticking to it seems easier said than done;  but, you can do your chores in baby steps.  It's a matter of dedication.  

Some people learn to pace themselves and get the house in a reasonably clean condition faster than others.  Learning the how-to's is often dependent on a number of circumstances, so don't have a guilt trip over how long it takes you to develop a routine you can manage.  It has literally taken me years to develop my habits to a point I do not have to stuff things in a closet or take them out to the garage to have a house that looks clean.  I still consider myself and my habits as works in progress.

What are some of the negative circumstances that often keep people who have chronic illnesses and chronic conditions from keeping their homes uncluttered and clean?  

• Stress
• Fatigue
• Relapses
• Flares
• Depression
• Guilt
• Anxiety
• Surgery
• Pain
• Afraid pain will develop from being more active
• Lack of help or/and understanding in your home
• Permanent Disability
• Financial Conditions
• Have developed bad habits while ill
• Have grown physically weak from being sedentary

Two months ago, I did a detailed cleaning of the master bedroom.  My bedroom is still clean!  I am more conscious of hanging clothes up and putting my belongings away.  Dusting the bedroom is easier.  My next detailed cleaning of the master bedroom should be simpler.  I don't want it to take five days to get the job done, nor do I want to breathe in dust every night, as I sleep.  

It is lovely to know this is working.  I am feeling more confident that I can keep my home cleaned and uncluttered, despite my illnesses and my flare-ups.  

The truth is there have been bumps in the road for me.  I have gotten rooms clean before, and I've had them go back to messy.  However, the more I work at this, the better it gets.  In my gut, I have known there was a way to take care of my house better, even while ill.  Now, I am being assured by the results I am experiencing.

What can you achieve as you build better habits?  Can you let go of obsessions?  The following list may be some things that have bothered you:  obsessions over what you keep in your house; obsessing that the house has to be cleaned or decluttered in one day or one week; obsessions that only the way you clean is right;   and the obsession that if the house is not perfect, than it is not clean.  

Baby steps will get you there.  

We can do this.  We can improve our habits.  We can get the clutter out of our houses.  

Together,    We    Can   Do   This.  

You and I are thinking about decluttering:  getting it out of the house, and cleaning our homes, because we want it.  We want to enjoy the serenity of living in a clean, tidy environment.

I am praying for you, and I am cheering you on.

Love, 

Deborah

In With the Positive, Out With the Negative

Image Courtesy of [graur razvan ionut ]/FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Routines are great.  That is one of the things that FlyLady encourages people to have;  however, chronic fatigue and illness often seems to to be the antithesis to daily rituals. When you want to forge on ahead, life seems to be an endless cycle of malaise, rest, and pushing ourselves harder than you should.  Chronic fatigue and pain from Fibromyalgia, Arthritis, and autoimmune illnesses slow you down.

One of my husband's favorite sayings is "Don't over-do."  He has seen what happens to me when I try to do too much.  The fact of the matter is I am unable to keep up the schedule I did in the past.  It took me too many years to admit that, partly because I did not understand how to work within the parameters of my illness.  It took me becoming a bedridden invalid for almost a year, before I figured out how to get stronger and pace myself better.  It also took that drop to the bottom to stop letting guilt of what I thought I should be doing go.

Not everyone reading this is at the same level of pain and fatigue.  Thirty years ago, I pushed through much of my pain and fatigue.  However, more stress and additional illnesses have taken me beyond the point that I can push myself and lead the life I did when I was younger.  FlyLady's BabySteps work for many people;  however, I admit to not being able to keep up.  I've had to learn to be flexible and work around my illness.

 It is helpful to develop your own routine:  in fact, you probably already have one.  However, I have found routines can be improved with small steps.  Decide what things work for you.  I have suggested ways to do this in previous articles.  Also, I  make suggestions on my Facebook Page, Chronic Illness and Creative Decluttering several times a week.  When I learn a new way to manage my day, I share it.  Hopefully, you will make comments, as well as sharing your ideas.  We can learn from one another.

Remember, there are not many things we use in life that are one size fits all.  I think this applies to our routines and chores as well, especially when dealing with a disability or an illness.

Finally, it takes time to make changes in your life.  Slow and sure makes a difference, even when you have a flare-up or relapse.  Habits don't change overnight, nor does clutter simply disappear.  Give yourself some positive self-talk, and throw out the negative.  It's time to find out what kind of routine works for you. 

God bless you.

Gentle Hugs,

Deborah

Taking My Daily Medication and Supplements Challenge--Important Update

By now, you know I am not here how to  tell you how to get rid of Fibromyalgia, Chronic Fatigue 

Syndrome, or whatever Chronic Illnesses you deal with.  Since I've been ill, there are more people talking about how to manage our illnesses, giving out comfort and encouragement, and wanting to have a dialogue than I have ever seen .  The internet has been a blessing in that regard.  However, that doesn't change that it is up to each of us to manage her health, even when she gets exhausted.  If you are at the point you can no longer care for your own needs, you may get assistance;  but for most of us, we still have to keep track of our daily routine.

And so, the balancing act goes on -- pacing ourselves, keeping track of our medications and supplements, as  well as facing each day with fatigue and pain that never entirely goes away.  Some days are better and other days, we wonder how we can keep going another day.  Most of the topics I write about  come out of my own experience and a few I have caught as I read, so I pass them on.  Today's topic is something I need to work on.

M E D I C I N E  &  S U P P L E M E N T S

A warning about medication and supplements is necessary, because small children are apt to be curious.  Please keep medication and supplements out of the reach of your children and grandchildren.  Some people even keep them in locked boxes.  Since our grandchildren do not live near enough to be here often, I put them in a place that is out of their reach when they visit.  When we visit them, I am also careful to keep medications out of their reach.

Medicine, Supplements, and Remembering to Take Them

Leftover pills that have not been taken.  These pill
containers were filled about two weeks ago.  How
does a person make it any easier than this?
Obviously, there has to be a concentration on
priorities.  The red pills are a cranberry pill
for helping to prevent UTI's.  They were not
needed anymore.  And this does not even give
you an accurate view of the pills that were in
there, which were left from previous weeks.

Confession Time has arrived for me, and I am wondering if anyone else deals with this.  Taking my medicine and supplements has been getting sporadic in my life.  I am pretty good about the medicine, but I get too busy or too tired and I don't keep up very well with my supplements.

Somehow, I have a feeling there are people out there saying, "Oh, it is easy.  Write it down.  Put them in your divided pill containers for the right time of day, etcetera, etcetera."  And I have done both:  I usually end up with lots of leftover vitamins and other supplements that are good for me.

Is anybody out there saying, "No wonder you haven't felt too great lately."?  Well,  I am sure it isn't helping that I have gotten slack on taking everything.

Pacing Yourself, Resting, and Getting the Job Done in Baby Steps

Image Courtesy of [Danilo Rizzuti]/FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Today, I get to exercise practicing the art of slowing down.  While I write this, I think, "As if I wasn't slow enough already."  It is true that I don't see myself as speedy anymore, nor do I  accomplish everything I would always like to accomplish, but that doesn't bother me like it used to.  I have learned to accept it as part of my life, and I have learned I can still make improvements in areas that for a while, seemed impossible to change.

One of the things you need to learn when dealing with chronic illness is pacing yourself.  Sometimes, it includes uncomfortable attempts to change one's upside down schedule to a more normal one.  When I woke up today, after only sleeping about 5 hours of only partially restorative sleep, I decided to make another try at staying awake and going to bed at an earlier hour than usual.  Have you ever tried to do something like this?   It may or may not work.  Unfortunately, my night owl tendencies tend to override a normal daily schedule with the fact, I often lie in bed wide awake, even when all I want to do is sleep.  I have found different ways to compensate, and I have gotten to the point in my life, it is not worth it to agonize over a weird schedule.  It is what it is.  

However, once in a while, I have to try to normalize my schedule to fit in with some of the scheduled activities I want or need to do.  If it works, great!  If it doesn't, I am not  going to be miserable and guilty over something I can't help.

The second thing I want to mention about pacing is knowing when to say no to work.  Sometimes, we feel like we have to force ourselves to do things, even though our bodies are drained and the very thought of work is almost painful.  The bone deep fatigue is something we can feel gnawing at our muscles and nerves.  Our cells are depleted of the energy they need to function normally.  Sometimes, it hits us unaware.   And there are times, it is not surprising at all.  

However, even though the fatigue is there, we know there are things that need to be done.  Only  you can decide what is important.  If you still have children that live at home, then sometimes you have to push through to get something done.  However, you need to remember that when you give in one area, you will have to let something else go.  Otherwise, you could end up where I was a few years ago, which was on empty--able to do nothing.  And I have never been able to fully recover.

If you have been following this blog, you know I have been trying to make our house less cluttered, as well as making it a welcoming, comfortable home.  I have had to contend with dark walls and changes that were not in my former home, which was newer;  and, it is even more challenging with my disabilities.  However, I have been taking baby steps, and I am seeing changes that help improve our surroundings and my motivation. 

It seems to me that getting started is often the hardest thing to do, whether you are ill or not.  But if you take the first step you can usually take another one, and then another one.  And the wonderful thing is that the first step can be as small as putting one thing away or cleaning for one minute.  The pre-step can be visualizing what you are going to do, and how you are going to do it.  

1.  Yep, looking really bad.

That is how I got this sideboard cleaned  off -- one baby step at a time.  In fact, I have more to do to complete the job:  I want to decorate.  But I have done the hardest part for me, which was to clean it off and not just shove things into a bag or box, and stick it in a closet.  It took me about two months to get this done, because I have been working on the whole dining/work room

3.  Here, I have a nice clean palate to work with.
I see  endless possibilities.  Woohoo!

2.  It's better, but very dusty and there
are those icky little pieces of paper  to
go through -- not my favorite thing.

Finally, I want to end with how I am pacing myself.  Today, this sideboard and wall does not have to have objects placed on it.  In fact, every time I walk by it, I can enjoy the uncluttered surface and anticipate with enjoyment the thing I like better  than cleaning, which is decorating.  Moreover, I think I may still have a couple of boxes that were never unpacked from moving.  Next week or sometime this weekend, I might have Christmas in May and discover what is in one of those boxes.  Delicious anticipation...  Will it be something that looks good on that wall or on the sideboard?  What fun it will be finding out!

One final word:  I believe you can learn to do this.  I have not gotten to this point overnight.  I have been working on rebuilding good habits and learning new ways to get the job done over a period of years.  It took not being able to do anything for me to learn how to do things in  baby steps, and to give myself a psychological break.  Be kind to yourself:  do what you can and realize tomorrow is another day.  We are building habits.  That does not happen overnight.  

God bless you and have a good weekend.   

Wondering How to Come Back from this Flare-up?

I want to be like this bee, doing my work
without having to think about it -- just do
it because it needs to be done.

Today, I am figuring out how on earth I am going to start being active again.  I have been so fatigued the past month and a half that I have lost more ground.  After a long period of inactivity, it is difficult to get moving again, especially adding housework.  And as you can imagine, it is also overwhelming.  I have been a pajama girl for long enough to make pajamas a habit again.

One of the things I abhor about flare-ups is the inactivity and having to make a comeback.  I am never sure how much I can regain, because one loses muscle tone during periods like this.  Also, it was not a flare-up alone:  it was illness on top of chronic illness that caused the flare-up.  My sleep schedule is a shambles, because it does not comply with "normal."  And, I have had to take frequent naps.  It is amazing to me, who has never been a nap person, that I need to lie down in bed when I was there two hours ago.

I feel like I need a month at the beach, basking in warm sunshine and taking leisurely swims in the salt water. Or at least floating in the salt water.  Right now, a wave would probably knock me over, because by the time I walked down to the beach, I would have to rest.  Sometimes, I wonder if I would feel better if I lived near the beach all the time.  OK.  That's an aside.  I have to grow where I'm planted, and I am planted in a small southern town in the USA, needing to manage another Chronic Fatigue Syndrome flare-up.

In my zeal to encourage my readers, I was hoping I would not have to go through this cycle of regulating my habits and pacing again.  I wanted to manage my illness "perfectly";  however, that is not my reality.  And I am longing to know if other people that have CFS/ME/CFIDS go through these huge ups and downs, or if they are able to slog through the flare-ups.  

As far as housework goes, I have cooked a few meals, done a few cleanups, and done some laundry.  Also, I have been able to do some writing, but I have had to get off the computer much sooner.  Even using the computer makes me tired.  I am already there and this post has been an easy one to write.  So there it is, laid out, admitted, and wondering whether this will ever end or get worse.  I need to close my eyes again.

Love you guys.

When I Can't Get It Done

Can't complete your To-do list?  Don't feel bad about it:  we all have days like that.  Priorities get changed when emergencies happen, you get sick, or you are not home.  There are some things we can prepare for and others, such as illness that worsens or emergencies, that make the good routines we have developed impossible.  That is the beauty of having regular routines -- if we have something unusual happen, it doesn't totally ruin what we are achieving at home or at whatever place you have been diligently working to develop regular good habits.

Today, that is what happened to me;  but tomorrow, I will be able to pick up where I left off and work on the habits I am changing.  Meanwhile, I have not returned to a total mess and I found that I was still able to complete some things on my list of To-do's.  The nice thing is some things are already becoming automatic.

The Blues - A Sneaky Little Feeling

Sometimes, I begin to get this sneaky little feeling that I am beginning to get depressed.  I can function, but there is this little niggling feeling in my chest and my head that something is off center.  Since, I don't have anything about which to be depressed, where does this uncomfortable fluttering come from?  I really don't know.  I can only guess.

Could it be the change in the weather?  Or is it the undone things around the house?  Is there some sort of hormonal change going on in my body?  Have you pinpointed things in your life that give you just a hint of the blues, kind of an off-kilter feeling?  Do you end up getting depressed?  Or does it pass?

When I was in my late twenties and thirties, I would go running if I started to feel blue.  Or I would eat some chocolate, or both.  I think today I am going to continue on with my new flybaby routine, that I am working on developing:  it's already imperfect, but I'm not going to stop.  I have put my sticky notes up, and soon I am going to flutter in my kitchen.  After, I get supper started, I am going to get rid of some paper clutter, for at least fifteen minutes.  I might eat some chocolate too.

What I am really looking forward to is working on my control journal page, but Flylady says to take babysteps gradually, and I have always jumped ahead on that one, with poor results.  If I get this habit down in babysteps maybe it will stick better.  We'll see.

Finally, I want you to know I am thinking about you.  I hope you were feeling well enough to work on your habit today.  If you weren't, just jump in and do it tomorrow.   You will still be working towards your goal, which is the plan.  You don't have to do it perfectly.  I have found this approach works much better, than putting pressure on myself to improve overnight.  And don't forget to congratulate yourself for each step you do to work towards your new good habit.

Self-Motivation - Toolkit for Success

The thing we are working on now is self-motivation.  I can practically hear some of the groans, because I have been in the place where I thought I would never be motivated again, which made me feel guilty and more depressed.  Having an illness that clings like a vine on a brick wall that you can't get rid of is disheartening, a miserable state of existence;  until, a change is affected in one's heart.   I had to learn to quit looking back at what was, and learn to live in my present.  That actually helped with the self-motivation. 

Very simply, I am going to list the things we should be doing now.  We should be visualizing each step of the habit we are going to change.  My habit is to sit at the computer less.  I am visualizing myself writing my blog, the timer goes off after **30 minutes:  I may make that a little longer.  This is a work in progress.  I get up:  go to the bathroom, get some more water to drink, fix myself a snack, do about 15 to 30 minutes of housework, or whatever needs doing.  The main idea is to move around and free my mind from writing for a few minutes.  Now, I need to take a break.  I'm getting a cup of decaffeinated coffee and 2 lemon snaps (my dessert);  and, I am going to watch a television program, something light and funny.

Most habits being changed should be for a shorter duration than I plan, such as

Toolkit for Success - Adaptation

The goal of my blog posts are to encourage you and to share things I have been learning on my chronic illness journey.  Our disabilities and symptoms will not always be the same, but I have found that people who have a chronic or invisible illness often share symptoms, such as fatigue or depression.  These are two areas, with which I have struggled;  and they impacted my routines in negative ways, especially in the area of cleaning house.  I have been a Flylady fan for several years, and I have had success in using her methods to get on track again.  Being a flybaby and adapting the things I have learned from reading Marla Cilley's website have been helpful for me.  She has blessed many people in a variety of situations with her insight into FLYING, finally loving yourself.  As we travel this journey together, I would like you to think about this:  when you finally love yourself, it is a step towards loving other people better.  I am thinking I will also write something about this in my devotional blog, Take Comfort.

As you know, my week was busy last week;  and I have a little cold -- I think.   However, because my habits are improving, I know I can do some things around the house without making myself more ill.  We all have to adapt to our own circumstances, so I am not suggesting you do as I do.  No one knows how your body reacts better than yourself.  I have learned I must listen to my body.  There are times I need complete rest.  You need to adapt what you learn to your circumstances, just as I have.  I am not a doctor, a therapist, or any kind of medical professional.  I am a pilgrim on a journey to improving the way I live my life, so I hope we can have a dialogue during this series of blog posts.One of the things I want you to keep in mind, as you read,  is that I am trying to lay a foundation to work from in this blog post.  Or perhaps, we could call it a blueprint.  

The answers to changing habits and finding what works for you and me takes time.  And I do not want you to be discouraged, because it is a process which does not happen overnight.  However, when the light comes on, that change is possible, that one does not have to stay stuck, it is liberating.

I have been developing a Toolkit through the years,

My FlyLady Makeover - Day 2 - Dressing to Your Shoes

This is the second day of my FlyLady Makeover--well actually this is very early in the morning after the second day of my makeover--but I had to write this, because I don't want the momentum to fade.  If I start skipping reports on whether I did the babystep of the day; I may start skipping the babysteps. If I can do all thirty-one of FlyLady's beginner's flying lessons, it will be the first time I have gone all the way through them. 

I wore those sandals out.

Today I was supposed to Get Dressed to my Shoes.  That meant I was supposed to get dressed first thing in the morning; do my hair and face; and put on moisturizer or makeup.  My shoes were supposed to be the kind that lace up.  I have to confess:  I did not do number two perfectly.  I got out of my pj's in the afternoon, after I had already done some household chores; and I did not wear shoes that lace up. I do nod to the fact that Cilley (FlyLady) is probably right, that for many people her methods are tried and true;  however, she also says that chores done imperfectly are better than not doing them.

This is what happened to me.  I had a hope, a dream, and a memory of what I could do in the past.  For years, I had this ideal of what should be done in my home, but I couldn't keep up with it.  Therefore, things kept piling up on me, because I would think about all the stuff I should be doing; and if I ever got around to doing it, I would have to hide clutter in closets and under beds.  Finally, I got to the point, that I couldn't walk if stayed on my feet and walked for too long.  The pain increased in my leg and hip, and it would take several days or weeks for me to recover enough from the Chronic Fatigue to do a little again.

So here I am, adapting FlyLady's methods to work for me; wearing supportive sandals in the summer, instead of lace-up shoes, and being satisfied with having gotten dressed in the afternoon.  And I must say, I looked smashing.  I was clean from the top of my head to my toes, my outfit was cute, and I felt good.  I even wore a little bit of makeup.  And I have done things today that amazed me:  I finally started working on my messy dining room table.  It still held paraphenalia  from a project I finished 2 or 3 weeks ago.  I made my bed before I got dressed and tidied up the master bedroom.  It looked gorgeous, just like walking into a hotel with the beautiful bed awaiting me. 

And  I did not feel at all guilty asking my husband to fix some rice and a vegetable to go with the leftover pork chops from yesterday.  Nor did he mind.  I am blessed to have a supportive husband,  If I was alone, I would have fixed a frozen dinner for my supper, because I was in pain and tired. I am happy and satisfied, because I am a few steps closer to a clean house and a beneficial routine.  Ahhh {smile & sigh}, I am still basking in the afterglow of success.