From Numbness to Normalcy

A friend of mine said something important to me the day before yesterday:  IT'S NOT WORTH IT...it's not worth it for me to be robbed of the joy and peace in my life because of another person and their problems that seem to affect it ... let it go... and keep releasing it to the Lord...casting down vain imaginations to Jesus.  That made me think about something.  What are vain imaginations?  How did that apply to my situation?

For those of us that have fibromyalgia and chronic fatigue syndrome, one of the symptoms can be an overactive fight and flight syndrome.  Quite often we are sensitive people who have a hard time recovering once those chemicals get released in our body.  I'm not going to get into the scientific explanation, which you can probably read in half a dozen other places.  Instead, I want to talk about how it makes us feel, and how we can get through the effects of the adrenaline surge.

courtesy of [stock images]/FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Maybe you haven't experienced what I have, but if I was a betting person, I would say you have.  So I am going to get personal.  First, there is the pain and anger to deal with -- the disruption of peace and normalcy in your life.  It hurts with the grief, anger, and confusion filling your body.  You want to get away from the source of the pain, so you start considering how you can do this, especially if it has happened before.  I think that is where the vain imagination comes in, because in this heightened state of mental/emotional pain, it is hard to think clearly.  In my case, I found it best to pray and spend some time alone after the onslaught of adrenaline in my body;  however, there may be those who cannot stay at home because of physical abuse from another person being a danger.  You should not stay in a situation that is dangerous.  

An aside to what I am saying about the sensitivity of an overtired FM/CFS patient is that even peaceful, loving families have their moments when someone gets frustrated or angry.  It may not happen very often, but it is hard for people who have chronic illnesses to deal with.  We already are living on a balance beam, pacing ourselves, and a crisis of this sort can throw us over the cliff, so to speak, leaving us feeling as if we will never feel right again.  I have had advice to go to another person to make things right, but sometimes I have to have a cooling down time for my body to recover before I can handle even that.  I think you have to know the other party to a degree and handle some situations delicately for you and that person.  It takes a dose of wisdom, especially if you are dealing with a person that acted improperly towards you, such as listening through keyholes, offering unasked for advice, complaining all the time, or actually cornering you and forcing his or her opinion on you. And those are only a few of the things that cause dissension in a family.     

My point is that one who has FM and CFS may have heightened reactions, especially if that person has already been drained of energy.  This happens to so many people around the holidays, even to people who do not have chronic illnesses.  Routines are disrupted;  one's space is invaded.  Maybe some people have to give up their comfortable retreats to accommodate someone else that does not normally live at one's house.  Whether fight and flight syndrome is activated by a disagreement or a compilation of slights, there is usually something that sets it off, such as an argument, emergency, or even something that should be insignificant in the scheme of life.

Yesterday, I was still in the numb stage.  As a Christian, I am thankful to know that the Spirit also helps our weakness; for we do not know how to pray as we should, but the Spirit Himself intercedes for us with groanings too deep for words; and He who searches the hearts knows what the mind of the Spirit is, because He intercedes for the saints according to the will of God (NASB, Romans 8:26-27).  Once I was able to focus an read God's word, I was able to think clearer and feel more normal.  I felt at peace again.  However, I believe it takes time for the body and mind to heal, unless of course, God heals one instantly.  Sometimes, it takes more faith for one who is hurting to persevere, than for someone who is not suffering in some way. 

Also, if you have a trusted friend, whom you can share some of your hurt with, it helps.  I am not talking about airing all your "dirty" laundry.  Use your common sense.  You do not want to cause someone else to be hurt by gossip or change someone's opinion about a usually nice person.  Let's face it -- none of us are perfect.  However, if you have a discreet friend or discreet friends that will pray for you, that can be a helpful road to recovery.  My friends not only prayed for me:  they offered wisdom and solace.  I did not have to tell them every detail of what caused my pain, only that I was in pain;  and I needed help.  I am grateful for my Christian prayer group.

P.S.  Another friend mentioned letting things roll off my back.  I can do that sometimes by considering the problems of the person who is being difficult.  Actually, I had already done that quite a bit this time.  Some people would say there are some things that are not forgivable, but if God can forgive me for my sins; then, I think I need to be able to forgive other people their sins against me.  Holding bitterness in one's heart, hurts the person holding the bitterness;  while the person that made one angry or hurt may already have forgotten the problem.  In the Lord's Prayer it says: forgive us our trespasses as we forgive those who trespass against us.  Jesus said that, so He must have thought it very important we forgive others to be living an abundant, balanced life.  Have you ever known a happy, bitter person?  Nah...I haven't either.

God bless you, and may your life be more peaceful in 2013.