Wondering How to Come Back from this Flare-up?

I want to be like this bee, doing my work
without having to think about it -- just do
it because it needs to be done.

Today, I am figuring out how on earth I am going to start being active again.  I have been so fatigued the past month and a half that I have lost more ground.  After a long period of inactivity, it is difficult to get moving again, especially adding housework.  And as you can imagine, it is also overwhelming.  I have been a pajama girl for long enough to make pajamas a habit again.

One of the things I abhor about flare-ups is the inactivity and having to make a comeback.  I am never sure how much I can regain, because one loses muscle tone during periods like this.  Also, it was not a flare-up alone:  it was illness on top of chronic illness that caused the flare-up.  My sleep schedule is a shambles, because it does not comply with "normal."  And, I have had to take frequent naps.  It is amazing to me, who has never been a nap person, that I need to lie down in bed when I was there two hours ago.

I feel like I need a month at the beach, basking in warm sunshine and taking leisurely swims in the salt water. Or at least floating in the salt water.  Right now, a wave would probably knock me over, because by the time I walked down to the beach, I would have to rest.  Sometimes, I wonder if I would feel better if I lived near the beach all the time.  OK.  That's an aside.  I have to grow where I'm planted, and I am planted in a small southern town in the USA, needing to manage another Chronic Fatigue Syndrome flare-up.

In my zeal to encourage my readers, I was hoping I would not have to go through this cycle of regulating my habits and pacing again.  I wanted to manage my illness "perfectly";  however, that is not my reality.  And I am longing to know if other people that have CFS/ME/CFIDS go through these huge ups and downs, or if they are able to slog through the flare-ups.  

As far as housework goes, I have cooked a few meals, done a few cleanups, and done some laundry.  Also, I have been able to do some writing, but I have had to get off the computer much sooner.  Even using the computer makes me tired.  I am already there and this post has been an easy one to write.  So there it is, laid out, admitted, and wondering whether this will ever end or get worse.  I need to close my eyes again.

Love you guys.

Not Your Fault

February 3, 2013

S L U M P or schlump (pronunciation shlump).  Have I mentioned that word too many times?  I feel like I have it stamped all over me.  On my forehead there is this stamp in red that is glowing "slump, bored, fibro-fog, shake it off, and why me?.  That is just the way I feel with the mire sucking at me:  I can picture my tortured feet trying to walk through the mud to get anything done.  And then -- there is that strange wonky feeling that I'm just a tad off, but if I got up I might be OK, only I cannot get up.  Or I won't get up.  I'm not always sure which it is.  However, if I wait it out without getting super reactive over my unwanted wonkiness, I will eventually be back to a higher level of functioning.

At least,  I know I am not the only one with Chronic Fatigue Syndrome and Fibromyalgia that sometimes feels like this.  I was feeling frustrated, so I thought I would look up some articles on motivation.  The first one was written in lettering so large, I knew I would be scrolling the page forever.  Yes, I know I can change the print, but that blog post was not about the motivation problem CFS and FM patients get.  So I changed the words in the search engine and ran across one of my favorite writers in the area of FM and CFS.  She had an explanation and suggestions that make sense:  It's easy to feel lazy when you just don't have the motivation to do something.  This probably is more of a physiological problem, possibly related to neurotransmitter imbalance, than it is outright laziness... ~Adrienne Dellwo~

February 7, 2013

I have been able to say, "Oh, happy day..." for a few days.  I have still been fatigued, but I have not felt like all productive activity was lost. I am dealing with fibromyalgia aches in unusual places, but not pain that has been incapacitating.  At least I think they are all FM;  therefore,  if I don't have some relief soon, I anticipate a doctor's appointment.  Something important to remember, when you have an illness like FM, is not all pain can actually be attributed to the disease*.  Today is a cool, damp, rainy day in my neck of the woods;  therefore, I am not at all surprised that I feel achy.  I have had Fibromyalgia long enough to know my triggers (most of the time).  Sometimes, I am surprised;  or maybe, I have just forgotten. 

Sometimes, I have to use a cane when I first stand up, especially if I sit too long, but I think that is due to arthritis stiffness in my knees.  However, fibromyalgia can also cause unsteadiness;  so combine that with arthritis, and you have a double whammy.  Considering I have an artificial joint in my left hip and thigh bone, I would rather be safe than sorry.  Once I am on my feet and have gotten those arthritic joints warmed up, I usually discard the cane, putting it beside the chair I sit in most often.  If I didn't I would surely forget where put it.  The lovely thing is I can smile when I say that.  I hope you can too.

*Unless there is a new classification, FM has not yet been classified as a "disease", but as a "syndrome";  however, I call it a Disease, because that is what it feels like to the people that are afflicted with FM.