Thursday, September 20, 2012

Self-Motivation - Toolkit for Success

The thing we are working on now is self-motivation.  I can practically hear some of the groans, because I have been in the place where I thought I would never be motivated again, which made me feel guilty and more depressed.  Having an illness that clings like a vine on a brick wall that you can't get rid of is disheartening, a miserable state of existence;  until, a change is affected in one's heart.   I had to learn to quit looking back at what was, and learn to live in my present.  That actually helped with the self-motivation. 

Very simply, I am going to list the things we should be doing now.  We should be visualizing each step of the habit we are going to change.  My habit is to sit at the computer less.  I am visualizing myself writing my blog, the timer goes off after **30 minutes:  I may make that a little longer.  This is a work in progress.  I get up:  go to the bathroom, get some more water to drink, fix myself a snack, do about 15 to 30 minutes of housework, or whatever needs doing.  The main idea is to move around and free my mind from writing for a few minutes.  Now, I need to take a break.  I'm getting a cup of decaffeinated coffee and 2 lemon snaps (my dessert);  and, I am going to watch a television program, something light and funny.

Most habits being changed should be for a shorter duration than I plan, such as
cleaning off one messy area in your home, a table or a chair, for 5 minutes.  Or if you are doing that already, perhaps, you might want to spend 15 minutes a day cleaning an area of your home.  If you want to make a habit of getting dressed, you might start there.  FlyLady would suggest her FLYing Lessons:  BabySteps.  This is a process of steps that take 31 days.  I was not successful following the steps for 31 days, but I have learned many of the lessons, by working on one a month.  Someday, I would like my routine to be more like FlyLady's, however, I am a work in progress.  

Gentlemen, this will work for you too.  Perhaps, you might need to start working on a routine that will prepare you for tomorrow morning, so it is easier to get up and out of the house in the morning.  Or if you are on disability or retired, you might need that same plan, so you can work on a project you have been wanting to do.  But start with one habit:  do it everyday and congratulate yourself.  If I could talk to each one of you, we could have a conversation and I would know what habit you want to work on.  It could be as simple as getting out of the recliner and taking a shower or mowing the lawn.  Or maybe, you have a shed you have been wanting to clean out, or you would like to paint a picture, or do light exercise.  Don't laugh.  There is light exercise that people can do who are disabled, and for those who have FM.  However, no pain, no gain is out the window.  Start with 1 minute, then add another, and do some research on what is safe or get a physical therapist.  

Everyone, do not forget to rest!  Do not get over-enthusiastic and try to be the Instant Wonder.  Overdoing will only cause you to go back two or three steps, instead of going forward one.  I'm telling you, this works!  At least it did for me.

If you have questions, please write on the comments or on my Facebook Page.  None of this is something to be embarrassed about.  It is real.  It is difficult.  If I am overwhelming you by writing too much, tell me.  I will try to improve.  Or I will write in shorter sections, so you can read it in sections.  I know how it feels to be overwhelmed by a book that tells me how I can live my live better as a person with a chronic illness.  Often writers have many documented theories and examples, but I could not grasp these for my use.  I could barely remember anything I read.  Baby Steps, baby steps -- that is what I could finally grasp.  I actually visualized myself as a baby learning, and tried to remember how I learned as a small child.  Baby Steps, try them.

**I chose 30 - 45 minutes, because I can't start writing and just cut my thoughts off.  I have to have a good stopping point, or I may forget what I intended to say.  Today, I was able to stop, but I am not anywhere near the point I need to be.  I may have to stop writing everyday, or schedule it.  I know I am getting to the point I have got to rest and I need to do some things around the house.  And I need to go to the grocery store. Oh darn!  Where is that professional housemaid I need, the one who knows where all my things go -- the one who will totally declutter my house?   

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It's always lovely hearing from you. xoxo, Deborah