My List Grew?

Did you ever make a short list of things you needed to do, and you wondered why it took you so long to complete it?  Or, maybe you have felt frustrated and fussed at yourself about not getting enough done.  Take a deep breath.  Now, breathe slowly. That's right.  Relax.  Maybe, you have just gotten more done than you think you did.  

There have been many times in the past that I looked around me, and I felt like I was inadequate; because, I have high expectations of myself.  Then, my expectations got less after realize I was simply too sick to get everything done.  I was not able, so letting go of some of my expectations of myself was a matter of saving my "sanity."  I learned to be content to do less, which in that setting was okay.  However, now things are different.  I feel better, I actually have more I want to get done;  and, I know I can do more.  Can you see where I am going with this?

I started letting some of my perfectionism start creeping back in.  I took on more and more, because I could.  I finally let some blogs and Facebook pages go, because I saw that I was working more than taking time to smell the roses or clean my house.  However, I still had Mr. Perfectionist sitting on my shoulder, saying "That sure is a short list.  You did not do enough today.  Why aren't you doing more?  You need to manage your time better."

Today, I knocked that burden off my shoulder.  I had my list.  I took a much deserved break to eat lunch and read a novel.  It's a Christian novel, and the things that were being said in the story kept speaking to me.  Then, I started reflecting on this list, and I decided to write down everything I had done that day.  Actually, I probably forgot something, because there are so many small things we do that we do not even think about just to get one basic job done.  Moreover, I know I will do other things that are important that are not even listed on my long list.

If you ever feel like I did--inadequate, frustrated you are not up to your or someone else's expectations (roll my eyes), imperfect (well, aren't we all?), or unfinished--make yourself a list of all the things you have achieved for that day.  You might surprise yourself!

Learning New Things and Keeping My House Clean Too

Do you ever wonder when you will be cured of Not Being the Perfect Housekeeper, Homemaker, House cleaner, Person who cleans your own house?  I do.  I bet you did not know that.

You may be thinking, "Oh, she is sitting behind her little computer with everything in place.  The house looks perfect, because she has more energy, and she has got it all together now."

My answer to the above is "Nope!", which for my readers needing translation is American slang for no.

I think I had visions of everything being perfect:  I always fall into that trap it seems;  but, the truth is I am struggling in my own ways just like everyone else.  Now, I have two jobs  ( my unpaid decluttering ministry and my Plexus Slim).  That is why I dropped the Decluttering Blog, but I am still getting rid of the clutter.  I just do not have time to take pictures of everything I declutter.  However, sometimes I will bore you with a few of the getting rid of clutter details:  for instance...

• An old teflon frying pan with the teflon peeling off (not good to eat that stuff) was sitting on the kitchen counter and now it is in the trash.
• The protective covering that was on the new frying pan, which lay on the counter two days because I wanted someone else to read the instructions, which may never happen, is now in the trash.  But, the directions are still there.  Oops!  Maybe, I should just trash them too.

See, I am still a mess;  and, my house needs to be dusted.  My laundry needs to be put away.  My towels need to be folded.  I need to clean the hot spots too.

What happened?  Life.  Life happened:  I have more energy, but I still have to give my body and brain a break.  Guess what?    It's all Okay.  Sometimes, I am going to spend more time on one thing than the other.  It's a choice I have to make.   You and I will be alright.  I still understand.  Remember, I have been ill for over 20 years.  

I am here.  I am still doing this blog;  although, there are times the things I am learning to balance may be a little different.  I would not stop doing this, when I know there are people like me that would like a chance to be better in health, in doing their work, in being with their family, in getting out of the house and in finding time and energy to play.   Right now, my house is a mess and I am having a bit of a schedule struggle.  I have even found myself skipping vitamins this week, because I got too busy with other things.  I repeat.  I am not perfect.  God is not finished with me yet.  Thank goodness!

 If I tell you about my pink drink sometimes, it is because I want to help you.  I know I need to do more testimonies and more about the products for you that have perked your ears up at the hope something might help.  If you are not interested in reading about a product that might help you;  then, skip over it.  Okay, that is all I have to say about that for now.

Now I just want to anticipate the rest of the weekend, do something with my husband, and forget about work.  In fact, I need to--we all need to take breaks from wear and tear and work-- and  pace ourselves.  

Have a happy Saturday and Sunday!  Put the things of the world out of your mind for a while and rest.  Rest your bodies, do something relaxing, and spend time with God and fellow believers.  

Working at Your Energy Level

When inactivity is about to drive you crazy, and you have to do some housework or bust, jump in gradually.

Guess what!  Today, I actually got some work done:  Laundry Basket Emptied, Laundry Dried and Folded, Washed the Coffee Pot -- it tastes better if those old oils are washed off, and I spent time decluttering a drawer.  I would like to dust;  but my ear infection has been so bad and I have so much yucky stuff still in my head, I need to buy some masks to wear or make my own washable masks. 

When trying to return to your normal activity level, rest in between jobs.

I rested between everything I did.  I did not work for 15 minutes at a time, because my body made it obvious it is not back.  I could feel the weakness and lack of energy;  however, even with Chronic Fatigue Syndrome, the muscles will become weaker if not used.  Those of us with ME/CFS walk a fine line between using our muscles and not over exerting ourselves.  We need to use our muscles, then rest.  

Smile.  You accomplished something!  Then, relax and sleep well (hopefully).

I find myself more comfortable with myself if I put in a little effort, according to what I am able to do at the time.  I cannot always be thinking of myself as behind, because that is an indicator I have unrealistic expectations of what I should be doing.  I have also found I sleep better if I am active;  however, if I do more than my body is able to do at the time, I often end up unable to sleep. The fine line I do not want to cross is always there. So what is the best way to know when to stop?

Learn to listen to your body.  It will tell you when to rest if you listen.

I wish I had a magic formula to give you;  however, there is none that I know of.  This is a self-learned, trial and error ability.  Often, one runs into problems when the adrenaline rush of expecting company or wanting to do something so very much, he or she ignores the warning signs that pop up.

1. How do you know when you need to rest?  
2. Have you learned to work in short spurts with rest periods?

Pacing Yourself, Resting, and Getting the Job Done in Baby Steps

Image Courtesy of [Danilo Rizzuti]/FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Today, I get to exercise practicing the art of slowing down.  While I write this, I think, "As if I wasn't slow enough already."  It is true that I don't see myself as speedy anymore, nor do I  accomplish everything I would always like to accomplish, but that doesn't bother me like it used to.  I have learned to accept it as part of my life, and I have learned I can still make improvements in areas that for a while, seemed impossible to change.

One of the things you need to learn when dealing with chronic illness is pacing yourself.  Sometimes, it includes uncomfortable attempts to change one's upside down schedule to a more normal one.  When I woke up today, after only sleeping about 5 hours of only partially restorative sleep, I decided to make another try at staying awake and going to bed at an earlier hour than usual.  Have you ever tried to do something like this?   It may or may not work.  Unfortunately, my night owl tendencies tend to override a normal daily schedule with the fact, I often lie in bed wide awake, even when all I want to do is sleep.  I have found different ways to compensate, and I have gotten to the point in my life, it is not worth it to agonize over a weird schedule.  It is what it is.  

However, once in a while, I have to try to normalize my schedule to fit in with some of the scheduled activities I want or need to do.  If it works, great!  If it doesn't, I am not  going to be miserable and guilty over something I can't help.

The second thing I want to mention about pacing is knowing when to say no to work.  Sometimes, we feel like we have to force ourselves to do things, even though our bodies are drained and the very thought of work is almost painful.  The bone deep fatigue is something we can feel gnawing at our muscles and nerves.  Our cells are depleted of the energy they need to function normally.  Sometimes, it hits us unaware.   And there are times, it is not surprising at all.  

However, even though the fatigue is there, we know there are things that need to be done.  Only  you can decide what is important.  If you still have children that live at home, then sometimes you have to push through to get something done.  However, you need to remember that when you give in one area, you will have to let something else go.  Otherwise, you could end up where I was a few years ago, which was on empty--able to do nothing.  And I have never been able to fully recover.

If you have been following this blog, you know I have been trying to make our house less cluttered, as well as making it a welcoming, comfortable home.  I have had to contend with dark walls and changes that were not in my former home, which was newer;  and, it is even more challenging with my disabilities.  However, I have been taking baby steps, and I am seeing changes that help improve our surroundings and my motivation. 

It seems to me that getting started is often the hardest thing to do, whether you are ill or not.  But if you take the first step you can usually take another one, and then another one.  And the wonderful thing is that the first step can be as small as putting one thing away or cleaning for one minute.  The pre-step can be visualizing what you are going to do, and how you are going to do it.  

1.  Yep, looking really bad.

That is how I got this sideboard cleaned  off -- one baby step at a time.  In fact, I have more to do to complete the job:  I want to decorate.  But I have done the hardest part for me, which was to clean it off and not just shove things into a bag or box, and stick it in a closet.  It took me about two months to get this done, because I have been working on the whole dining/work room

3.  Here, I have a nice clean palate to work with.
I see  endless possibilities.  Woohoo!

2.  It's better, but very dusty and there
are those icky little pieces of paper  to
go through -- not my favorite thing.

Finally, I want to end with how I am pacing myself.  Today, this sideboard and wall does not have to have objects placed on it.  In fact, every time I walk by it, I can enjoy the uncluttered surface and anticipate with enjoyment the thing I like better  than cleaning, which is decorating.  Moreover, I think I may still have a couple of boxes that were never unpacked from moving.  Next week or sometime this weekend, I might have Christmas in May and discover what is in one of those boxes.  Delicious anticipation...  Will it be something that looks good on that wall or on the sideboard?  What fun it will be finding out!

One final word:  I believe you can learn to do this.  I have not gotten to this point overnight.  I have been working on rebuilding good habits and learning new ways to get the job done over a period of years.  It took not being able to do anything for me to learn how to do things in  baby steps, and to give myself a psychological break.  Be kind to yourself:  do what you can and realize tomorrow is another day.  We are building habits.  That does not happen overnight.  

God bless you and have a good weekend.   

Focus and Distraction - Controversy? REally?

Oh no!  Did I do that?

Wow!  I did not expect my last post on Learning to Balance Life Changes to be a tiny hotbed of controversy.  I shared my last post on a couple of pages I frequent on a certain popular social media site, and someone felt spammed.  And I am so sorry.  I am not that computer savvy, nor do I have the desire to be a pest.  I don't like spam either.  And I would message someone or delete the post, rather than report it as spam;  unless, it was an obviously computer generated robot or it was objectionable, rude, crude content.  And I have to admit to having hidden some things that came into my page, because I don't like the language that some people consider acceptable.  But I certainly don't want to burn bridges to my friends.

If I post anything, it is to add to the conversation on the same general or specific subject;  and, I do it to be helpful.  For instance, yesterday, I thought what I posted might help someone see how I worked my problem, which was totally a part of my chronic illness.  I worked the problem by praying about something over a period of time.  However, I felt like I was near a breaking point, so I prayed again;  and, I finally had my answer.  I don't see that as a problem in dealing with chronic illness.  I see prayer as a plus.  That means you are giving it to God, instead of spending all your waking hours stewing over something. 

I am not having brain fog issues right now;  however, for a few moments, I wondered when I found my blog post removed from my own pages.  Well, now you may have guessed the social media; so I guess it is alright to say Facebook.  I think they do a lot of spam checking by automatic computer programs, so it is possible that the unnamed Page marked it as spam.  Isn't it amazing one can have that power on Facebook?  

People worry about stuff that gets on their personal pages. We can say no to things we don't want on our personal pages and our professional or wellness pages.  Also, it is good to let a friend know (in a nice way) if there is something objectionable coming from their page to yours.  Some accounts get phished (I think that is the right word).  Don't assume that something you see from a friend is actually from them, if it isn't in character.  I don't think we have to be afraid that will happen if we are careful about using passwords that are mixed with capitals, numbers, etcetera.  

I do think this blog should share some articles on handling Focus and Distraction.  The last article was one way to handle these kinds of problems.  And for the problem I was dealing with, that is what worked best for me.  
Sometimes, when that beast, brain fog, attacks, I have to also find other ways to manage.  So if you got cued wrong, I apologize.

Finally, I will never apologize for my faith in Jesus Christ.  I do pray about most things;  moreover,  I have made it plain from the very beginning of this blog, I will be talking about how my Faith is an important part of balancing my life changes.  And I whole-heartily recommend it to everyone.

Focus and Distraction: Managing Mine

Focus and Distraction:  do those words feel familiar?  Oh yes, I purposely used the word "feel", because I
have been dealing with this today, yesterday, the day before, etc., etcetera.  I feel sure you understand, and I realized it is making me more fatigued than I need to be.  The neat thing is that God answered prayer for me today;  and in the doing of following His path for me, I am finding direction.

One of the things that has been bothering me is having five blogs and two Facebook pages.  For someone that has ME/CFS among other illnesses that sounds plain crazy.  And maybe, I was feeling a little guilty:  it's the perfectionist thing kicking in.  I can't spread myself around that much.


I was wondering how I got myself into this, and I remembered that I was called.

Today, God helped me to see that by answering a prayer for me.  (He tells us in the Bible to bring all our cares and anxieties to Him.)  This afternoon, the answer was in the things I read, and I it was also brought to me by a member on one of my Facebook pages.  I am thankful God cleared up my lack of focus and the distractions with which I've been dealing;  moreover, I am absolutely amazed at how the picture of what I'm supposed to be doing is clearing up.  I feel as if I have been looking through a fogged window, and I now I can see the landscape before me.

I feel relief.  With all that is in me, I am thankful to God.

Secondly, I have been wondering if I should combine blogs, go to Wordpress, get my own domain and combine blogs.  I have that answer for now.  And it goes along with the the acronym, KIS:  keep it simple.

1. It costs money to get your own domain -- can't do that one yet.
2. I am already here, and you know I am here.
3. Blogger is easy to use.
4. Why expend energy on changing something that works.
5. I can share the information for and from Chronic Fatigue and Creative Decluttering here. (Why does this feel like one of those "duh" moments?  After all, having enough energy to clean is something with which people with chronic illnesses struggle.)

I am not going to delete the other blogs, but I am not going to struggle with what to do with them anymore -- at least, not until I am led to do something different, if that ever happens.  This is my plan:

• The two main blogs are Learning to Balance Life Changes and Living Better With An Invisible Illness.  
• Learning to Balance Life Changes will continue to be about information on Fibromyalgia and ME/CFS; dealing with our health, our psychological balance, and our physical issues; and at times I am going to mention how spiritual issues affect our life (because that is who I am).  Also, I plan to incorporate more about the decluttering of our house, our lives, our bodies, as it comes.  Why?  Because these are issues with which many people deal -- not just those with chronic illness.
• Living Better With An Invisible Illness has become a mixture of a devotional blog, a book and blog review, as well as, sharing how art journaling can be a healing tool.
• Deborah Lynne's Inspirations is going to be mostly creative things that I share on Pinterest -- DIY, up-cycling  art, etcetera.  I haven' t had much time to do that lately, because I have been floundering.
• Saying Bye to Clutter is my photo journal for decluttering.  I don't post everyday.  I accumulate pictures, then I post.  This is a fun thing for me, and I am interested to see how I feel after having posted 365 days of clutter gone.  The inspiration to keep doing it is useful too.  
• Take Comfort has been a blog of short devotions, that I began to minister to those that cannot concentrate on long Bible studies and devotionals.  Occasionally, I will do a short Bible Study to add to the collection, but lately, my devotional writing has taken a trip to Living Better With an Invisible Illness.  For right now, I think I am supposed to do it that way.   

For now, that is it.  I will be reworking my links and pages during the next few days.  But right now, I need to give my derriere a rest.  I have been sitting too long.  Also, I have some decluttering to do.  I wonder if I could convince my husband hamburgers are a good idea tonight.  I forgot to defrost something for supper.

I love you all.  If this is too long, I am so sorry.  I have become very conscious about that lately, especially since I have been reading many blogs.  My brain can only seem to take in so much; but also, I don't think our eyes were meant to stare at a computer screen for hours at a time.  See you later.

Decluttering With A Timer

Image:  Balancing Act by D. Bolton

Hi Everyone!  I was just picking up clothes to hang up or put in the dirty clothes in my master bedroom.  I was in the closet, and I realized I was holding my breath.   Also, I began to feel shaky.  This made me think other people may start to breathe faster or hold their breaths when working with at timer.  Either one is not a great idea if you have a problem with chronic fatigue.

Decluttering with a Timer

• This is not a race!  The timer is being used, so you know when to stop.
• A timer is a tool to encourage you to work in an amount of time that will not wear you out psychologically or physically.  The timer is your friend, not your competitor.
• Breathe.  I began taking slow deep breaths in my closet when I realized what was hPpening.
• If you give out before the timer does ( I am talking about legs shaking, body says sit), Stop.  The clutter won't run away, and you can come back to it later.
• Work in increments of 5 to 15 minutes.  I have found I can start with 5 minutes or less after a flare-up (relapse), and that gives my muscles a chance to grow stronger.  If I jump into things too quickly, I end up too tired to do anything and discouraged.  As I grow stronger, I can add more minutes.
• Sometimes, you can go to a less physical activity after doing something  that requires a lot of effort, but listen to your body.  You should take breaks.
• The rules here are not ironclad, but they are a guide to help you pace yourself.  Sometimes, I am able to go past 15 minutes, but I often pay for that by being more fatigued the next day.

Weekend - Monday Potpourri

So how are things going with you?  Well, I hope.  Are you pacing yourself and resting without guilt?  That is important, because the guilt negates the resting--it leaves the body in a chemically ready to go state, at least that is what I think.  When you rest, you need to turn the mind off from the I need to do this and this needs to happen state.  It's a matter of self-preservation.

I'm in semi-rest mode after a mega weekend.  Our sweet 17 year old kitty died, I sang a solo Sunday morning, made Christmas cookies, worked in the yard, and sang in our Christmas musical all in one weekend.  And we had a fellowship after church Sunday night.  That was absolutely Mega-Weekend for me.  And I am still feeling badly about our cat, but she was sick and it was her time to go.  I am so glad she didn't suffer a long time.  I had almost decided not to put up our big Christmas tree, but in honor of our sweet kitty, who loved to lie under the tree, it is going up tonight.  Last night, my husband and I rearranged the living room, which is not an easy job in our very oddly shaped room.

Please ignore the spastic looking hand.
A model, I am not.
What counts is we were having fun!

The other part of this potpourri of things going on is a revelation I had yesterday afternoon.  So many people tend to save their pretty clothes for "going out", including me.  But yesterday, I wore black leggings, which looked absolutely smashing with a long decorated sweatshirt;  however, I got hot because I was working.  So I put on makeup, pretty ear rings, and a "hot" tunic top.  When my husband got home, I surprised him--he wasn't expecting dressy looking Debby.  Moving furniture was so much fun last night:  I think I ended up more tired, because we were dancing to the Christmas music -- absolutely worth it.

How can I dance with a bum knee?  It is called I got a cortisone shot in my right knee last week and now it feels good.  Oh, why did I wait so long?  Two months of bad pain is over.

Lastly, here is an easy cookie recipe:  Press one 16.5 ounce chocolate chip cookie roll in a greased 9 X 13 pan.  Beat 3 eggs, 1 tsp. vanilla, and 9 oz. cream cheese together.  Pour over cookie dough.  Break another 16.5 oz. roll of cookie dough into small pieces and place on top of cream cheese mixture.  Bake at 350 degree f.  for 30 minutes.  After cooling, store in refrigerator.  Yummy.  And easy.

False Rules of Perfectionism

Today, I have a date with my husband,
so I have to save energy.
 It is important to balance your energy,even when following
 a daily routine.  Sometimes, something may have to wait until tomorrow.

Have you been following FlyLady's 31 Beginner Babysteps?  I have been following them, but not perfectly;  which is all right, because one of the things that bogs some flybabies down is being a perfectionist.  You would think that a perfectionist is someone who cannot rest until his goals are attained;  however, this is not always true.  Always attaining to perfectionism can be quite stressful for people, because they can become frustrated at not being able to attain to their ideal. 

One of the things that has been healing for me is letting go of my ideas of what is perfect.  I am not saying one should not do their best or do things well, but seldom does anyone attain to perfection.  An example of this would be that I can no longer clean house in one day.  I use to love walking through my mopped, dusted, and vacuumed house.  The bathrooms were clean.  The beds were made with clean sheets, and most of the laundry was done.  I might have had a full, cluttered basement, but all the living spaces shown.  I think I can have that again, but not in one day.

What happens to some perfectionists, especially those with limited energy, is they cannot attain to their perceived goal, so they give up.  They give up until they have to have company or they are in the mood to clean.  Then, they wear themselves out again.  That is a cycle that will not work for me.  Therefore, I am glad I have found out what works for me with having Fibromyalgia and Chronic Fatigue Syndrome.

Today, I worked on my Control Journal.   I decided to type my Daily Routines on my computer and I even did it in pretty colors.  I have alternated colors for each task to make them easier to read.  When my brain is feeling foggy, I need to have my directions clear and easy to read -- then I can focus better.  Also, I have not added any routines other than taking my medication and supplements, even though FlyLady mentions the afternoon routine and making it fit you.  When I read about adding afternoon routines, I started having a panic attack and I knew I needed to stick to the basic routines for now -- morning and evening.  It would be different if I had children in school or I was homeschooling, but I am past that in my life.  Also, I still like to make a to-do list of specific things I need to get done--usually, not more than 6-8.  I have a small notebook I use.  Each day, I date a page and as I accomplish my tasks I cross them off, especially when I play FlyLady Bingo.  These are very specific tasks like put laundry in the washer or start supper.  I write down getting dressed, if for some reason I don't get dressed until the afternoon.  Every activity counts, even playing with the dog.  I know if I put too many things on my basic list, I will immediately feel like I am on overload.

I hope you have been finding the FlyLady series helpful.  I appreciate Marla Cilley's candid notes she writes, especially when she admits that she still doesn't always get it perfect.  And she has had a lot of practice.  She does walk the walk:  and I appreciate the fact she has helped so many people.  In fact, if it wasn't for FlyLady, I would still think I was one of the few people in the world that struggle to do a perfect daily routine.  What a relief it is not to have to live up to being perfect anymore, and have a reasonably neat house!  I like that.

For now, this is my Daily Routine List.  Eventually, I may add walking the dog or throw in a load of laundry.  However, right now, this is what I need to see. I am going to put it in a clear plastic sleeve in my control journal.  I put it on one page, because I don't want to have to turn to another page every day, just to see my routines.

Daily Routines

Morning Routine

Make Your Bed

Take Levothyroxine

Dress to the Shoes, Hair, and Makeup or Moisturizer & Blush

Read Your Posted Reminders

Fix and Eat Breakfast

Take Medication and Supplements

FlyLady Email

Put out Hot Spots for 2 minutes

Spend 15 minutes decluttering each day.  You can’t organize clutter.

Before-Bed Routine

Keep your sink shining

Lay out your clothes for tomorrow

Get ready for bed

Put out your Hot Spot.  It will make you happy in the morning!

Drink some Chamomile Tea

Read or Do something relaxing.

Go to bed at your bedtime.

When Games Become Work

It's been too long since I've written here, but I am ba-ack.  God has gotten me through serious surgery and a move.  In fact, I'm still unpacking and putting away.  

Have you ever felt like you

will never be able to find a

place for everything?  That's how I have been feeling for the past year.  Clutter is ugly, distressing and fatiguing.   However, I am taking baby steps and getting my new home in shape.  Now, enough of talking about chores and on to my topic for the day  -- when games become work.

Me, my computer and my dog.  
Since it isn't easy to sit on the floor, my dog has gotten spoiled.

Being part of the computer generation is a great boon for people with invisible illnesses.  We find understanding and support; we are able to connect with friends quickly; and we can play computer games.  Uh-huh!  Did you know that was where I was going?  Many computer games are like hobbies, because you can arrange the pictures they provide however you want.  It is the computer generation equal to having an electric train and building a set for it.   However, like any hobby, this can take up too much time;  moreover, it can be a big energy drain if I  begin to get obsessive about it. 

Energy drain, the bane of the chronically fatigued, is something we have to guard against.  In my own life, I have been taking gradual steps to increase my energy and learn my limits.  I have discovered one of my limits in playing games.   When the game becomes work, I have to step away for a while.  How long depends on my  work schedule.  With limited energy, I have to make a decision about what really needs to be done each day. Now, that I am able to accomplish more and I am sitting less, I have to choose my activities carefully.

Sometimes, I have to let my games go for a while: then, I close my eyes and lean back in my chair, I watch television, or I just read.  Balancing my playtime is just as important as balancing my work.  May your playtime be fun and your work be satisfying.  

Until next time, 

Deborah