What I have learned is I can accomplish many things in baby steps. This keeps life's challenges and chores from being overwhelming, as well as making them more pleasurable. This is why I keep writing and sharing, hoping you will be encouraged to join the dance of balance and grace.
When inactivity is about to drive you crazy, and you have to do some housework or bust, jump in gradually.
Guess what! Today, I actually got some work done: Laundry Basket Emptied, Laundry Dried and Folded, Washed the Coffee Pot -- it tastes better if those old oils are washed off, and I spent time decluttering a drawer. I would like to dust; but my ear infection has been so bad and I have so much yucky stuff still in my head, I need to buy some masks to wear or make my own washable masks.
When trying to return to your normal activity level, rest in between jobs.
I rested between everything I did. I did not work for 15 minutes at a time, because my body made it obvious it is not back. I could feel the weakness and lack of energy; however, even with Chronic Fatigue Syndrome, the muscles will become weaker if not used. Those of us with ME/CFS walk a fine line between using our muscles and not over exerting ourselves. We need to use our muscles, then rest.
Smile. You accomplished something! Then, relax and sleep well (hopefully).
Ifind myself more comfortable with myself if I put in a little effort, according to what I am able to do at the time. I cannot always be thinking of myself as behind, because that is an indicator I have unrealistic expectations of what I should be doing. I have also found I sleep better if I am active; however, if I do more than my body is able to do at the time, I often end up unable to sleep. The fine line I do not want to cross is always there. So what is the best way to know when to stop?
Learn to listen to your body. It will tell you when to rest if you listen.
I wish I had a magic formula to give you; however, there is none that I know of. This is a self-learned, trial and error ability. Often, one runs into problems when the adrenaline rush of expecting company or wanting to do something so very much, he or she ignores the warning signs that pop up.
How do you know when you need to rest?
Have you learned to work in short spurts with rest periods?
From the pool to the potty
to the bed --
that is crashing.
Sleep. Blessed sleep. We need it, but it is often fleeting. My sleepy time is constantly getting turned upside down, because I crash when I don't get enough hours -- I have too or I cannot function.
Last spring, I found the following article by Lizzy Brown, and I have tried the suggestions in it: Sleeping Problems: How to Reset Your Circadian Rhythm. My favorite tip was the one on resetting the my internal clock. Instead of trying to go to sleep earlier, I keep setting each day forward when I am trying to get back in what most people would consider a "normal" pattern. It doesn't last for me; but, it helps for a while, until I have one of those nights I cannot go to sleep at all.
Having to explain to a person, who lies down in the bed and is asleep almost the moment his or head touches the pillow, is hard to do. Unfortunately, it doesn't work that way for everyone. The desire to go to sleep doesn't always mean one will, nor does the desperate feeling of exhaustion always mean one will slumber. Some people suggest using herbs, supplements, or medications to lull one to slumber. Guess what! That doesn't always work either. At least, it doesn't for me: I have been wide awake with medication or herbs that put most people to sleep. Therefore, I personally do the best I can. Since sleep is often elusive, I am very thankful when I can drift off and feel like a normal person going to bed, sleeping when I need to. In peace I will lie down and sleep,for you alone,Lord,make me dwell in safety (NIV, Psalm 4:8). There is one thing I love about lying in the dark in my bed. I love to remember scriptures I know; and, I like to pray. Even when I can't go to sleep, there is peacefulness in giving that awake time to the Lord, in remembering Him and all His benefits.
Now, it is time for me to work on shifting my time forward again. I think I have stayed awake long enough.
How our puppy has grown! She is
watching her master as he walks to work.
2 years ago
It's lovely sitting here on the loveseat recliner with my labrador retriever lying here, her shoulder snuggled close to my hip. My coffee is steaming and the whole day is ahead of me. Some days, we fibromites have a few minutes or hours of respite from pain. Sure, if you start putting pressure on our trigger points, which sometimes feels like our whole bodies, there is pain. But to be able to sit or walk without nagging aches for even an hour is bliss. I have to admit it is a puzzle to me how in the evening, one can be in such intense pain, the whole body aches like it has the flu, but sometimes one wakes up and actually feels comparably comfortable the next morning. One of the theories of why we feel pain more than the average person is that our brains and nerves make us feel pain more intensely. However, as I sit here and realize there is a slight burn across my entire back, I think that I have learned to ignore much of the pain, because in some degree it is always there. As I write, I am actually getting so relaxed that I'm falling asleep. Maybe, it's time for a little nap, so I can have energy to get a few more things done today. I like to take advantage of the sleepy moments too, since often I feel exhausted and sleep eludes me. Have a lovely day. Gentle hugs, Deborah P.S. After a tummy rub, our lab is lying on her back, asleep and dreaming. She is my therapeutic dog: petting her makes me feel good, and I smile.
Honesty, my policy of truthfulness to myself and others Is not what I want to think about, Because I will begin to doubt Me. Frozen in a sludge of half-desire to jump in and Be, I wonder how I manage to get to this Point of having to push myself to get anything done. I know what to do, but since I kept falling asleep Today, after an uncomfortable bout of intestinal flurries, I seem frozen to my chair. And I wonder if other people are like me, Sometimes frozen, sometimes bustling in flurries of useful activity, Sometimes only able to get one or two things done, And that has to be enough. At least I got dressed and combed my hair, But I never put on my shoes, My fuzzy, warm socks caress my feet, Leave me feeling relaxed and comfortable. So I will accept these moments, knowing when I'm patient, I escape the ice that encapsulates me. Each small chip in it brings me closer to the me I like best. I don't have to get depressed and cut myself down. As the ice melts, I move a little more. Self, talk nicely to me. I needed a break. My eyes are closing again, as my fingers Rest on the computer keys, C's and brackets cover my page... cccccccccccccccccccccccccccccccccccccc[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[
This is rest. We thought he had come inside to use the
bathroom, but my grandson had climbed into the bed --
wet bathing suit and all and fallen asleep.
Sleep
is elusive
is manna to a sleep-starved brain
is desired
is needed
and
it finally comes in the form of a pill or herbs
that leave me fogged
in the afternoon
because I slept through
the light of morning.
~Deborah Bolton~
After I wobbled out of bed, using my cane for stability, I made my way to my recliner, and I thought that Flylady must be a springer, meaning she must be awake and ready to go in the morning. Now, I don't know this to be true. At 1:15 p.m. I only knew there was no way I could make my bed right after I got up, because I would have fallen over -- back into the bed or onto the floor.
Disordered sleep is one of the symptoms of FM and CFIDS that I abhor. How can a body that is desperate for rest, that has had 2 hours sleep in 38 hours resist going to sleep? It seems like a cruel joke in the life of those of us who have this symptom of FM and CFS.
Yet, I have experienced the difficulty of falling asleep more times than I can count. I have experienced it when I
ached all over and the exhaustion felt overpowering.
was excited that I was going to travel the next day.
was anticipating my doctor's appointment the next morning.
had worked too hard preparing the house for a party or visitors.
had been to a party or dinner with several people or many people.
had been shopping for several hours.
had sung in a concert or musical at my church
It's a conundrum I haven't solved, but I suspect it has something to do with the flight and fight syndrome. Once I get that that adrenaline rush, whether it is called for or not, my body has a hard time relaxing enough to sleep.
Therefore, I have learned to go with the flow, at least most of the time. And my husband tries to understand how hard it is for me, even though he is almost asleep before his head hits the pillow. It makes a normal daily schedule illusive, and it does not work well with the morning schedules of most institutions.
This problem with sleep has become more pronounced as I age, and I am thankful I was able to function on less sleep when my children were young. Now, I do not function well unless I get my full eight to ten hours of sleep. Maybe, my body is trying to make up for what it lost -- ha! I know it
can't, because even when I am at am at my best, it is less than the norm.
I know there are many young woman with fibromyalgia and/or CFS/ME. Sometimes, I wonder how you make it through your busy days; and then, I remember how hard I worked when my children were at home. I worked and I played with the enthusiasm of a wife in love, and a mother that wanted the best for my children. I knew the best was having a mother that spent time with them and made the love in her heart show through her actions. I would not have had it any other way. I am so thankful that even though the aches and pains were there, I was able to be active.
Sometimes, I feel like my body has grown old before its time; yet, my mind feels like it is in my twenties, only wiser. I would love to do the things I used to, but it doesn't take long for me to know I would be miserable if I continued. This morning I dreamed I was invited to ride in a boat on a lake and I could have water skiied as well. But, even in my dreams, I had to say no, because I knew I would be out of action for a long time afterwards. Yet, in reality, I remember when I didn't ever get sore from water skiing, even if I hadn't done it for a long time. However, about 25 years ago, I discovered the agony of skiing with aches and pains that lasted for days.
I suppose I better get myself amovin'. I have been trying to feel fully alert without heavy eyes for about 2 1/2 hours. At least the wobbles are gone. While I was sitting here, I had a movie on called Funny Valentines (link below). The last line in the movie is one I have to share with you today: There is nothing more precious than giving a person a piece or your heart.
From me to you, each time I share, I give you a piece of my heart. Don't worry: there is plenty there, for it is filled with the love of the Lord Jesus Christ and His Holy Spirit. He gives me an unending supply of love, for which I am grateful.
I looked for the DVD or video of this movie, and I could not find one. On IMBD, someone had asked about that, and the answer was that this movie was made for television, so there is no DVD. Boohoo. However, I found the book and I have fallen in love with a writer I didn't know about. Her name is J. California Cooper and she wrote Homemade Love, which is a collection of short stories. And I found Funny Valentines.
I am trying to design a button that can be grabbed for anyone who wants to use it. This is the picture. Now, I have to do the html. If it doesn't work, I will chalk it up to a learning experience. Anyway, it has been relaxing drawing the picture. I go someplace else in my brain when I am in creative mode, and it relieves stress. It was the ideal thing for me to work on today, because I had a sleepless night. If I could only have stayed up, that would have been great, but I folded about 10 a.m. and slept until 4 p.m. That is one of the advantages of my children being grown up -- I could never have done that 20 years ago. Now, my upside-down schedule has gotten even crazier; however, in the past, I have been able to work a day like this to my advantage. Instead of being devastated by sleeping into the afternoon, I have been able to stay up that night and longer into the next day to make my schedule match a "normal" person's schedule. After all, the world pretty much runs on a morning to night schedule. At least...
Guess what! Today, I actually got some work done: Laundry Basket Emptied, Laundry Dried and Folded, Washed the Coffee Pot -- it tastes better if those old oils are washed off, and I spent time decluttering a drawer. I would like to dust; but my ear infection has been so bad and I have so much yucky stuff still in my head, I need to buy some masks to wear or make my own washable masks. 
