Thursday, November 1, 2012

False Rules of Perfectionism

Today, I have a date with my husband,
so I have to save energy.
 It is important to balance your energy,even when following
 a daily routine.  Sometimes, something may have to wait until tomorrow.
Have you been following FlyLady's 31 Beginner Babysteps?  I have been following them, but not perfectly;  which is all right, because one of the things that bogs some flybabies down is being a perfectionist.  You would think that a perfectionist is someone who cannot rest until his goals are attained;  however, this is not always true.  Always attaining to perfectionism can be quite stressful for people, because they can become frustrated at not being able to attain to their ideal. 

One of the things that has been healing for me is letting go of my ideas of what is perfect.  I am not saying one should not do their best or do things well, but seldom does anyone attain to perfection.  An example of this would be that I can no longer clean house in one day.  I use to love walking through my mopped, dusted, and vacuumed house.  The bathrooms were clean.  The beds were made with clean sheets, and most of the laundry was done.  I might have had a full, cluttered basement, but all the living spaces shown.  I think I can have that again, but not in one day.

What happens to some perfectionists, especially those with limited energy, is they cannot attain to their perceived goal, so they give up.  They give up until they have to have company or they are in the mood to clean.  Then, they wear themselves out again.  That is a cycle that will not work for me.  Therefore, I am glad I have found out what works for me with having Fibromyalgia and Chronic Fatigue Syndrome.

Today, I worked on my Control Journal.   I decided to type my Daily Routines on my computer and I even did it in pretty colors.  I have alternated colors for each task to make them easier to read.  When my brain is feeling foggy, I need to have my directions clear and easy to read -- then I can focus better.  Also, I have not added any routines other than taking my medication and supplements, even though FlyLady mentions the afternoon routine and making it fit you.  When I read about adding afternoon routines, I started having a panic attack and I knew I needed to stick to the basic routines for now -- morning and evening.  It would be different if I had children in school or I was homeschooling, but I am past that in my life.  Also, I still like to make a to-do list of specific things I need to get done--usually, not more than 6-8.  I have a small notebook I use.  Each day, I date a page and as I accomplish my tasks I cross them off, especially when I play FlyLady Bingo.  These are very specific tasks like put laundry in the washer or start supper.  I write down getting dressed, if for some reason I don't get dressed until the afternoon.  Every activity counts, even playing with the dog.  I know if I put too many things on my basic list, I will immediately feel like I am on overload.

I hope you have been finding the FlyLady series helpful.  I appreciate Marla Cilley's candid notes she writes, especially when she admits that she still doesn't always get it perfect.  And she has had a lot of practice.  She does walk the walk:  and I appreciate the fact she has helped so many people.  In fact, if it wasn't for FlyLady, I would still think I was one of the few people in the world that struggle to do a perfect daily routine.  What a relief it is not to have to live up to being perfect anymore, and have a reasonably neat house!  I like that.

For now, this is my Daily Routine List.  Eventually, I may add walking the dog or throw in a load of laundry.  However, right now, this is what I need to see. I am going to put it in a clear plastic sleeve in my control journal.  I put it on one page, because I don't want to have to turn to another page every day, just to see my routines.

Daily Routines

Morning Routine
Make Your Bed
Take Levothyroxine
Dress to the Shoes, Hair, and Makeup or Moisturizer & Blush
Read Your Posted Reminders
Fix and Eat Breakfast
Take Medication and Supplements
FlyLady Email
Put out Hot Spots for 2 minutes
Spend 15 minutes decluttering each day.  You can’t organize clutter.

Before-Bed Routine
Keep your sink shining
Lay out your clothes for tomorrow
Get ready for bed
Put out your Hot Spot.  It will make you happy in the morning!
Drink some Chamomile Tea
Read or Do something relaxing.
Go to bed at your bedtime.

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It's always lovely hearing from you. xoxo, Deborah