Tuesday, November 6, 2012

Turning the Volume Down

Image Courtesy of [stockimages] /
Today, I thought of how I have been feeling lately:  it was as if someone had turned the volume of a TV and radio up very loudly.  It was so loud I could not shut it out.  My nerves began to prickle and I wanted to rest, but I couldn't rest, because everything was so overwhelming, I could not focus on one thing.  I was picking up the sounds of the radio, the TV, the kids outside, the dog barking, the phone ringing, and someone wanting to talk to me all at the same time.  Now, this is not what was happening to me literally, but that is how my brain perceived everything -- the things I wanted to do and the things I needed to do.  My body was not cooperating:  actually it still isn't.  The cold, damp weather was making my joints hurt two or three times more than usual.  And my sleep wasn't restful.  I still woke up tired.  My skin hurt and itched from the erythema annulare centrifugum.  If I added up all my symptoms I have been having, which I'm not, I would definitely say the FM and CFS has been kicking my behind.

Image Courtesy of [David Castillo]/
When living our lives, sometimes the volume becomes clamorous and nerve-wracking.  We have projects we want to complete,  families to take care of,  shopping to do,  work,  deadlines,  school, sleepless nights,  sickness, and the holidays.  Some of you reading this have almost all those things in your life right now;  and some of you may be to a point in your lives where you have had to slow down.   Living life anywhere near a normal pace is impossible.  Wherever you are in your life at this moment, you can probably relate to the things I have mentioned.  

Image Courtesy of [Nutdanai]/
Image Courtesy of [Stuart Miles]/
The lives we love and live can be stressful:  mentally, emotionally, and physically.  We could write about all the things in our lives that affect us and it would fill a book;  so in the interest of brevity, let's just say that good stress, bad stress, daily living, viruses, hormones, the physical conditions of our brains and bodies -- everything that happens to us affects us.  If we have Fibromyalgia or Chronic Fatigue Syndrome,  we do not have the ability to manage everything that happens in our lives in the same way a healthy person does.  It has nothing to do with whether we are emotionally able to handle life:  it has everything to do with what our physical condition causes our hormones and the other chemicals in our body to do.  It really is as if someone has turned up the volume on how we perceive pain and stress;   because the cyclic activity of the hormones in our body are out of whack, and affecting the chemicals in our brain and nervous systems.

What I figured out yesterday was I needed to turn the volume down in my life.  It was up too high and I needed a break.  The great thing is that it is working.  I had my hard to get to sleep routine last night, but I did get to sleep.  As usual, I was slow getting up, but it was not as difficult as it was on Monday; and I felt well enough to fix my breakfast.  I started doing my other routines after I ate, and I was amazed at what I was able to accomplish.  Best of all, I felt peace.  Because I had dressed, fixed my hair, and put on my makeup, I felt comfortable asking my husband to take me out for supper tonight.  When he got home from work, I was ready.  I had to wait for him.   He wanted to know where I wanted to go:  I said, "Surprise me." The thing is I was too tired to fix supper, and we enjoyed going out for our hamburgers.  We don't always go out when I am tired.  Sometimes we eat leftovers or cook a frozen meal;  however, the point is I usually am not ready to go out when I am tired, but because I took care of myself first today:  eating and dressing in nice casual clothes I could work in, I had that freedom to go out.  And the noise in my life was turned down, because I have been making a point to take all my medication and supplements, as well as rethinking my priorities.  And I am thankful.

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It's always lovely hearing from you. xoxo, Deborah