The Dichotomy of Fibromyalgia and Dreams

Saturday, November 10, 2012

While I want to encourage all my readers that have Fibromyalgia and Chronic Fatigue Immune Dysfunction, I have to be totally honest too.  That is one thing that I feel is important, so we can be realistic about what we can and can't do.  I don't want to be a bubble buster or a dream stealer;   but I know how it feels to have false expectations, and then fall flat on my rumpus.  If you see some unusual spelling or grammatical errors today, part of it is due to my fibro-fog or brain fog. My Brain Fog is really bad today.  I am having trouble reading and comprehending.  I can write, but there has always seemed to be a connection between my fingers and brain.

I have had my share of ups and downs the last few months, but it seems to be part of my landscape -- having to live within the parameters of feeling Kinda OK or Tired Of Being Tired.  Since I won't ever feel Really Well again, unless someone comes up with a miracle cure, it would be nice to feel KO (kinda ok).   However today, I just had it with feeling TOBT (tired of being tired).  I am tired of being achy, burny, hurty. I am tired of sinusitis and having a urinary tract infection.  And I am tired of me.  Ugh!  Ever felt that way?  So at least you know I am a real person, and I have my fragile times.  I suppose this is one of them, and I know it has been building, because I want to be able to push past my tiredness.  However, that does not work for people who have FM and CFIDS.

Sunday Nov. 11, 2012
For those of you that have been following my FlyLady 31 Days of Beginning Babysteps, I can honestly say that I have made progress because of doing the baby steps;  however I have not been able to do every step every day.  Between flares and illness, I feel like I have done the best I can.  Somedays, I have been able to do all the steps and other days, just a few.  I am seriously thinking about exploring other ways to be successful in continuing the steps--perhaps modifying or coming up with my own schedule.  I  may not be able to have complete control over how my body is going to react and be everyday, but I am convinced I can find a way to improve on how I manage housekeeping.  I also realize one of the main ingredients is getting rid of clutter.  FlyLady is right about "clutter attracting clutter."

I guess you noticed the dates.  Yesterday was tough, but I survived.  My night was restless:  I could not get comfortable, and I am staying away from pain meds, because of the warnings on my antibiotic.  The brain fog is better and the shaky feeling I had last night is gone.  My blood sugar went up to 194 last night.  My body notices those kinds of changes right away.  Today, I started my day out right, with the mindset I am going to pay better attention to my moderate low carb way of eating.  However, I am still trying to make up my mind about splenda.  Splenda was helping me to follow this way of eating, because I could still have my homemade chocolate balls.

God bless you all.  Have a wonderful new week.

Love,

Deborah