Needing a House-Keeping Boost

Hello Everyone.  I went to flylady.net today for some much needed inspiration.  What a great time to do it:  it's Anti-Procrastination Day over at Marla's place.  What have you been procrastinating on? Are you ready to make some changes?

I have a boatload of stuff I need to do, but I couldn't decide what to work on first. Thank goodness for FlyLady. Going to get busy.  However, I always remember to make my list in 3's or I end up being overtired and overwhelmed.  If you have time this summer, let us know what you have accomplished.  Maybe, it is just getting a much needed break.  That is important too. Or maybe, you have had time to do something around the house you don't normally do.

In my own life, I have had a break and feel the need to get back on task.  I am starting to experience a sense of aimlessness; therefore, I went to a place I knew I would get help. FlyLady has a schedule for everyday.  I can do some of that!

What's Important

Image Courtesy of [dan] / FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Before I go any further on the subject of entertaining, I want to talk about our focus.  If our focus is on how beautiful our home is or isn't, than our focus is skewed.  If you are a Christian the focus of the season is the birth of Jesus Christ and how blessed we are that God loves us so much, He sent His Son to save the world.  Many people do not understand, nor care about this.  They just love the festivity of the season, the thoughts of peace and good will.  The thing is that we would not have those without Jesus Christ.  

I know there are religions that celebrate at this darker time of the year to bring light into their lives, but I know of no light that is stronger or more real than the one true God, His Holy Spirit, and His Son.  This is not a politically correct statement, but I told you I would be honest.  There is no way I can leave this out of the equation, because this is why I celebrate year round, not just at Christmas. Jesus was not born in a palace, but a stable:  He comes to each one of us regardless of our station in life:  rich and poor, sick and well, young and old, aristocrat and commoner, CEO of a company and CEO of a home (homemaker), whoever you are -- He came for your salvation.

I would be remiss if I did not tell you, you can be joyful and celebrate the season without decorations and fancy feasts.  You do not have to decorations, even though they are enjoyable.  If all I have is the energy to straighten up my house and do the everyday normal, I am still going to be happy.  Can you do that?  Can you take joy in what you can do, not focus on what you can't do?  What we can do is going to be different for all of us.  For many of us, this differs from year to year.

I want a Christmas tree.  I want decorations.  However, I do not know if I will accomplish this or not.  As it draws closer to Christmas, I can see that just a touch of festive decorations may be all I can manage.  I will be joyful if I have none and joyful if I have some.  I will do what I can do, and I am going to focus on why I do it.  I do it to celebrate the birth of my Savior Jesus Christ.  Now, I will go eat my late breakfast and be glad I got this straight in my own mind and heart.  What's important for you?

Sidetracked or On Track?

All I need is one small thing to sidetrack me.  My mind can really get going on that plant I have been meaning to clip out of the gardens for months or that drawer that needs to be cleaned out.  Does that happen to you? Do you ever walk by something and after 20 to 30 minutes, you realize your body isn't used to what you are doing, but you want to finish the job?  That happened to me, because I told my husband I would take the dog out, because he couldn't come home for lunch.  One thing leads to another.

When I started clipping those weed plants, that you can't pull out, I just kept going.  I am semi-glad I stood up and got sugar water poured on my head and back from the hummingbird feeder.  At least, it slowed me down.  To top it off -- those plants have absolutely nothing to do with getting ready for Thanksgiving.  Urgh!!

Speaking of Thanksgiving for those of you who live in the USA, are you having to prepare food or the house for family and friends to come over?  If you are I hope you have already done your shopping.  It is amazing how certain items seem to disappear from the shelves.  Are you like me?  Have you always known your pie tastes better than store bought, so you would put yourself in extra fatigue and pain to make it?  Is it a matter of pride?  I can only ask these questions, because I have been there so many times.  Next question:  is it worth doing that to yourself at this late date?  Homemade pumpkin pie tastes good at Christmas time too.  And I don't know if you can have pumpkin pie at Hanukkah and some of the other religions.  That just happens to be one of our family traditions.  Have you ever bought a smoked turkey?  Ummmm... Ask other people to help.  Buy rolls that you just stick in the oven, instead of making them.

If you are beginning to feel stressed and overloaded, give yourself a break.  I have learned there are times I can't have my pumpkin pie and eat it too.  I enjoy being with my family more when I have saved some energy for being with them. This year we are going to our daughter's house for Thanksgiving;  and I am taking pie and a casserole, but they can both be prepared a couple of days ahead.  So today, I will cook the casserole.  It tastes better after it sits a couple of days anyway.  However, if I run out of steam, I  will not hesitate to send my husband to the store for pumpkin pie.  Also, as a good friend reminded me today, I don't have to clean my house before I go.  The mess is not going to go anywhere:  it will still be here.  I sure do love my friend.

Incidentally, did you know you do not have to go to the store on Black Friday?  Isn't that awful?  We have a wonderful holiday to thank God for our blessings;  then, the day after is Black -- yuck --why couldn't it be white or green or red or Family Friday?!  Some stores are opening on Thanksgiving.  I feel so sorry for employees that have to work on a family holiday, unless, they are in the travel industry or medicine.  My dad had to work if it was his day to work, so we always timed our family celebrations when he was going to be home.  That was an aside -- back to shopping.  

Since I have been ill, I have been letting my fingers do the walking on the computer more than I ever did before.  I have to admit to having been an Amazon.com fan for several years.  I even get most of my purchases delivered for free.  It is worth a Prime Membership, because it saves on shipping.  My grandkids love getting a box in the mail from Amazon.  They will even put a message in there for you.  We would love to be there for all their birthdays, but sometimes my husband's work schedule doesn't allow or I am too sick.  

Speaking of stores, I hope the ads on my site do not offend you.  I don't work outside the home anymore, so I thought this would be a way I could save money for my next computer.  Unfortunately, computers don't last forever.  I just want you to know that I started my blog to help other people with chronic illnesses, not to make money. Moreover, I love having the ability to post things that have helped me or I think are cool.  I am full of asides today.  I just wanted you to know, the blog is for you.  That is the important thing. It is my heart's desire for you to be blessed.  I am praying for a happy and healthier holiday for you.  God bless!

Gentle hugs, 

Deborah

Handling the Truth about My Illness

Yesterday, I tried to write and all I could do was feel stuck in fog.  I even went to look up some information on what it feels like to have Chronic Fatigue Syndrome, as if I didn't know.  I'll share a link with you at the end of this blog post, but first I want to write while my brain feels clear.

"Autumn Colors"[by dan] / FreeDigitalPhotos.net

How do I let you know I am being positive, even when I write about the realities of this disease?  I know that it is not officially a disease, because the researchers have not pinpointed the cause of the syndrome:  but, those of us who have it know it feels like a disease. And just because someone doesn't know what causes it, does not mean it isn't a disease.   That sounds sad, but it isn't depressing to me like it used to be.  The depression many have with Fibromyalgia and Chronic Fatigue Syndrome used to be unbearable.  For months on end, I think I did little but exist;  but, that has changed.  

However, that does not mean that I don't have to deal with the moodiness or feeling that I am coming down with something.  It does not mean I don't get tired of CFS and FM, or that for a while I might hope I will never feel this way again.  I know what is causing the mild depression; I try to do what I can every day; and  I know I did not ask to be this way.  Whether other people understand or not is something I cannot help.  Sometimes, I don't even understand.  I went to therapy before I knew I had Chronic Fatigue Syndrome, and that helped me with worrying about what other people thought.  I knew I had Fibromyalgia, NASH, and prediabetes.  What I didn't know was I had Chronic Fatigue Syndrome too, until about a year later.  I also have a strange skin condition called Erythema Annulare Centrifugum, which I have had since my late twenties.  I have had it for over 30 years and it varies in the places it appears, and in severity.  I had it all summer, and it was bearable.  Right now, I have one area that is quite deep -- and it burns, hurts, and itches.  But guess what!  I am not depressed like I used to be, because I know  that I deal with something I did not cause.  I know all this fits together somehow.  Furthermore, I know that God knows my heart, even when I doubt myself.  He knows me better than I do.  When I read Psalm 139, I am completely assured that God knows everything about me;  and my heart is calmed.  

Finally, I suppose some of you might wonder what this has to do with FlyLady's 31 Beginner Babysteps.  It is a matter of facing reality.  This summer I began to feel better and I was able to do more, including light exercise.  Some days, I felt as if I was getting better and would probably be able to maintain at a certain level.  Unfortunately, I could not do that.  As I added things into my life, I was sapped of more energy, and I did not recover well.  Then, I began to feel guilty and angry (usually at myself), that I could not live a normal life.  The fact is I have a new normal, or perhaps a better way to say this is I have a different normal.  And I know this is true for many of my readers.

Therefore, I will be mentioning FlyLady's 31 Beginner Babysteps in passing.  I am still going to work on my habits,  but at a pace I can maintain.  I cannot and will not please everyone.  It is impossible.  But I can pray, ask for guidance, and be happy in my circumstances.  If I try to do more than my body can handle to please other people, than I am not being honest.  I know there are times I put out more, because I am shooting for normal, whatever that is.  However, my body shuts down;  and it has done that to me for the last 20 years.  About three years ago, I  became so ill I felt like I had the flu all the time and I did not recover for even a few weeks.  I was desperate to find  a way to get well.  I knew it was not just FM and liver disease.  The point is:  I'm the one that has to live with it, as does my husband to a degree.  What anyone else thinks about me is irrelevant:  I cannot help it if people, who do not share my circumstances, do not understand.

Whatever chronic / invisible illness you have -- you are the one, who knows how it makes you feel physically, mentally, emotionally, and spiritually.  Nobody else can determine that for you;  however, there are counselors that can help.  And if you know God, He will help you too, whether that means complete healing or coming to terms with living on this earth with a disability.  

That is enough for today -- somehow, I don't feel like this is a finished subject.  I'm going to get a snack, put some laundry in the dryer, and rest.  Maybe, I will look at FlyLady's 31 Beginner Babysteps for encouragement.   However, I want you to remember that doing the Babysteps is an experiment for me.  I am not going to feel guilty when I cannot do them, nor do I want you to feel guilty.  Resting is doing something.

The following link is an informative one on post-exertional malaise and how it feels:  Unraveling Post-exertional Malaise by Jennifer M. Spotila, J.D.

Five Minutes at a Time

Hmm....I remember saying something about transparency in my last post, so I guess I have to own up to the truth.  Because without Truth, this blog will not help anyone else, nor will it be of any value in helping me walk my life's path.  This is a bit frightening, because I grew up knowing I must always present best face forward, even if something did not totally represent the real me.  Maybe, some of you know what I am talking about. 


 I will list a few of the maxims I lived with:

1. Do not wear underpants with a hole in them to school.  What if you have an accident?
2.  When guests came unexpectedly, we usually sat outside in lawn chairs.  Don't let anyone see your messy house.
3. I learned how to put my best face forward, even when my insides were coming apart.
Number 3 sounds a bit dramatic,  but I did see this modeled in my childhood to a degree; and it definitely made an impression on me.

So what does this have to do with five minutes at a time?  Today, I realized that I have something eating at me, and I have to face it.  Clutter is beginning to overtake my house again. Aaaaahgeeee --the clutter monster is invading my life.  And I know there is a way to take care of it:  the aha moment happened for me today.  Don't you love aha moments? 

A good friend of mine, who also has a chronic illness, told me how she began to get rid of her clutter when she had little strength, but lots of frustration over the piles here and there that were accumulating.  She began to move one thing at a time to the place it belonged, whether that be a drawer, a closet, a shelf, or the trash.  That began to build her confidence in knowing she could take control of her home again.

Several months ago, I realized I could begin to attack my clutter five minutes at a time after reading an article that Marla Cilley, the FlyLady wrote.  And it worked!  However, I have taken on a couple of new things this summer that began to make me feel overwhelmed and caused post exertional malaise; so I started letting the house go.  If you could see a picture of my house right now, it's a bit like Old McDonald's Farm, except my song is about clutter, not animals: Here a pile, there a pile, everywhere a pile, pile....  I have what  the FlyLady calls CHAOS, can't have anyone over syndrome.  Add that to Fibromyalgia and Chronic Fatigue Syndrome--it means I have newly coined syndrome -- glued to my chair syndrome.  I have been stuck to my lounge chair avoiding contact with The Mess.  I have been hiding from it, but it keeps bugging me.  Today, I remembered I can do anything 5 minutes at a time, and I can rest in-between.  That means I need to quit writing and get to working and resting.  If I try to clean this up all at once, I will have to deal with post exertional malaise and be back in the same boat of growing chaos.

I'll let you know how The Cleanup goes.  It won't be instant, and it will be an ongoing thing.  By the way, if you would like some encouragement in the area of cleaning house, check the link I am going to add.  And if you have a chronic illness, it is OK to work at your own pace.

  In fact, I have learned pacing myself is the key to feeling better.   Trying to be perfect only made me miserable.

Peace be unto you.  And God bless.  

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