Have you heard that saying, "It is a woman's prerogative to change her mind."? I am exercising that authority, at least for now. Today, I entered Big Tent world again. Yes, I know I said I wouldn't; however, I saw FlyLady's day 6 list for flybabies, and I read these words:
Going to the FlyLady BigTent group and reading messages.
I began to feel as if I might be missing something: I just had to see.
The very first message spoke directly to me. And don't you dare laugh, unless you have had it happen. The message was in group news from Pam Young, Young at Heart: All Is Well. I don't think you can read it, unless you actually join the FlyLady's Big Tent group. Again, I reading something about what we say to ourselves.
Yesterday, I mentioned negative thoughts and positive thoughts. I said we should turn those negative thoughts into positive thoughts; and I have actually done this with success. So what happens to me? Today, I started having negative thoughts. My Christian peeps will probably say I am being attacked by some of the Enemy's cohorts. That is a possibility. Well, I don't plan to shut-up any time soon. I know who my Lord is, and that is Jesus Christ, no if's or and's about it. That is just the way it is. Or maybe this is just God's way of answering prayer, because I prayed as I wrote last night, that God would show me just how to talk about Him in this blog. If you want to know more, you can email me at deborahb.blogs@gmail.com or simply read "Take Comfort"--Short Devotionals. And of course, you can always comment here.
Day 6 is not going well for me. But I think it is going to go better after I finish this blog. Moreover, I get to do something new today -- well not really new to me, but I am disciplining myself to get through this 31 days. Hot Spots is the new FlyLady phrase to learn today. Check out Day 6 and scroll down: it's there. I cannot wait to hit my hot spots. Oh boy! I have lots of them.
I have made it to Day 5, which has been quite slow for me. I admit to having spent more time sitting, than I like; but, at least I am still moving forward. For those of you, who have no idea what Day 5 is: I am referring to Day 5 of FlyLady's 31 Beginner Babysteps. My goal is to make it through all 31 days. I have been a flybaby for several years, and I can already see differences in my habits; however, I have never done all 31 days to the end, which is actually only a beginning.
For those of you who are saying, "I could never do FlyLady's routines.", I understand where you are coming from. However, she has some solid advice to offer that has worked for thousands of people, and I would not even mention her if I had not found my life improved by something she teaches. The thing that befuddles us spoonies is the energy deficit with which we struggle daily. That is why I suggest working on one habit a month, especially for people who have been extraordinarily sedentary. Furthermore, as someone who has fibromyalgia, I found that was all I could concentrate on in the beginning. As I began to feel stronger, I added another habit to work on, and as I have mentioned in prior blogs, I would check off the habits on my calendar if I did them that day. There have been times I have had to repeat the process, because I had a lengthy flare-up; and that is fine, because every time I repeat it, I know this method works. In fact, I am to a point now, I think I can actually get through all 31 of the steps. And I know I do not have to do it perfectly to see improvement. After all, these are baby steps.
In Day 5 of FlyLady's 31 Beginner Babysteps, she reminds her readers to turn their negative thoughts into positive thoughts. It is amazing to me how I can say something to myself I would consider rude and judgmental yet, I would not speak that way to other people. I have found turning negative self-talk into positive self-talk has a better long range effect on my emotions and actions. Doing this helps my attitude immensely.
Finally, I know that everyday I am able to work on improving something basic to my well-being and my family's well-being is worth doing. I may not do it perfectly, but that is all right. The point is I am working towards a goal, which I can see has already improved my life. I am no longer the young woman that can clean the house in one day. I have to work with what I have. And I feel blessed and thankful, because I am well on my way to learning to manage my life in a way that will fit who I am now.
Sometimes, I begin to get this sneaky little feeling that I am beginning to get depressed. I can function, but there is this little niggling feeling in my chest and my head that something is off center. Since, I don't have anything about which to be depressed, where does this uncomfortable fluttering come from? I really don't know. I can only guess.
Could it be the change in the weather? Or is it the undone things around the house? Is there some sort of hormonal change going on in my body? Have you pinpointed things in your life that give you just a hint of the blues, kind of an off-kilter feeling? Do you end up getting depressed? Or does it pass?
When I was in my late twenties and thirties, I would go running if I started to feel blue. Or I would eat some chocolate, or both. I think today I am going to continue on with my new flybaby routine, that I am working on developing: it's already imperfect, but I'm not going to stop. I have put my sticky notes up, and soon I am going to flutter in my kitchen. After, I get supper started, I am going to get rid of some paper clutter, for at least fifteen minutes. I might eat some chocolate too.
What I am really looking forward to is working on my control journal page, but Flylady says to take babysteps gradually, and I have always jumped ahead on that one, with poor results. If I get this habit down in babysteps maybe it will stick better. We'll see.
Finally, I want you to know I am thinking about you. I hope you were feeling well enough to work on your habit today. If you weren't, just jump in and do it tomorrow. You will still be working towards your goal, which is the plan. You don't have to do it perfectly. I have found this approach works much better, than putting pressure on myself to improve overnight. And don't forget to congratulate yourself for each step you do to work towards your new good habit.
One of the bad things about not having to get up and go to work is the temptation to goof off. Ooh! Did I actually admit to that? Yep! Today, I did get dressed in regular clothes after much contemplation on the subject. I even had a list of things I did, but I have sat at the computer too long. I just finished playing a rousing game of bursting bubbles, which I am sure must be good for the brain -- so many angles to shoot, as well as choosing colors.
As far as Day 3 goes in The Challenge, I already told you I wasn't going to be reading the suggested link, so all I had to do was repeat shining the sink and dressing to the shoes. And since I have been making myself a To-Do list, I have some things checked off on that. Also every month, Flylady has a monthly habit to work on for a few minutes every day, at least it will be a few minutes for me while I go through more paper clutter. This is something I have been working on, off and on since last June or July. You may ask, "How much can you have?". A lot, when you have been married as long as I have. I finally asked my husband if I could throw away some of the stuff he has boxed for years. He was happy with that, and he is eager to get rid of the clutter too. Word of Caution: if you are freeing yourself of paper clutter, read FlyLady's List on what to do with it. You don't want to throw away important papers. Also, remember to work for only the amount of minutes you can work. That may be anywhere from 1 minute to 15 minutes, depending on your health on any given day. I found that starting gradually increased my strength. Also, I am not losing as much this flare-up, because I have made an effort to do something physical each day.
How will cleaning up the clutter affect my illness? I will feel freed, and I will be able to put my energies elsewhere. I hope you are able to do the same. And if you have no clutter, congratulations. I wish I could say that.
The principle here is basically the same as my earlier recommendation: build on the strength you have. Start with baby steps.
