Old habits die hard, and it may not be the habit you think I am about to mention; because, the first thing people usually think of when they see the words weight gain is diet. Diet in the sense of going on a diet to lose weight is not what this post is about. It is about the habit of thinking I need to go on a diet and lose weight being a trigger for frustration and thinking negative thoughts about myself.
When you are struggling with the fatigue of CFS, it often becomes an emotional struggle when living in a world that equates the weight of a person with health and beauty. In my own life, it is true that a great deal of my self-esteem was wrapped up in how well I was managing my weight, so when it became hard, seemingly impossible -- I felt responsible for my own weight gain. I was responsible in my mind; therefore, I had let everyone down in my life, including myself. Yep, old habits die hard.
If you have had difficulty with this issue in your life, and you need gentle sensible encouragement, I would like to recommend an article I read today, while I was searching for a CFS/FM weight loss group. The name of the article is Chronic Fatigue Syndrome, Fibromyalgia, and Weight Gain by WD. It was just the positive approach I needed to start thinking clearly on this matter. I had let my emotions override a positive approach to my dilemma: I needed input to get back on track to take care of myself, not to lose weight.
I have held on to clothes with the idea I would someday lose forty pounds or more. However, I think it is time to let them go. Why do I berate myself, when I try to do what's healthy, but I still stay overweight? And for my Christian friends out there: yes, I do think my body is the temple of the Holy Spirit; and, that includes my brain and all parts of me. However, I do myself no favor by being unrealistic. Before I had CFS and I just had fibromyalgia, it was easier for me to lose weight. Before I was fifty-five, I was able to fight this thing harder than I can now. I have afflictions that I did not ask for, nor do I believe I caused them in the sense most people equate cause and effect of becoming overweight.
I am facing the fact I am ill with several afflictions that make exercise and weight loss difficult and nearly impossible. Therefore, I am going to keep moving as long as I can. I am going to continue to stay on a moderately low-carbohydrate diet to keep my blood sugar as near to normal as possible. An aside here is that I am diabetic and keeping my A1C level within acceptable ranges without medication. In fact, I asked my doctor why he doesn't have me on medication for diabetes. He said my blood sugar would go too low. What this tells me is that I am doing well.
You have to put together the facts of your illnesses and go on from there. That does not always mean weight loss is going to be maintainable with some illnesses. You know your situation with all the variables; and, those variables are different for each person that has CFS/FM. You have to make your decision based on what is right for you, not for Everyman or Everywoman.
Remember that when you start to feel low about your lack or your excess of pounds.
Finally, I am making my decisions based on the fact I know it is unhealthy for me to be consumed with weight as a gauge for my self-esteem. I will balance my lifestyle as best I can within the parameters facing me.
What will you do?
(If you were looking for a weight loss plan that is sure fire, I am sorry I cannot give that to you. I know many weight loss plans: sometimes, I feel like an expert. Believe me, if I could come up with something that would be a cure-all, I would probably be doing it; however, I have to make my decisions based on what is right for me. And right now, I'm resting in that and I am resting in my Lord. God bless you.)
What I have learned is I can accomplish many things in baby steps. This keeps life's challenges and chores from being overwhelming, as well as making them more pleasurable. This is why I keep writing and sharing, hoping you will be encouraged to join the dance of balance and grace.
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It is always lovely hearing from you.
Deborah