Thursday, April 25, 2013

Chronic Fatigue Syndrome and Relapse

Raindrop on Wisteria Vine
Hello my dear friends and readers.
 It's terrible that I just had the thought,
 "Lord, why don't you just take me
now?  I am so tired of being sick."  The Chronic Fatigue Syndrome has taken over it seems.  I am hoping it is just a relapse, and I will get better.

Have you ever felt like that?

Sometimes, it feels like I have been sick forever, and I want to tell myself to snap out of it;  but the body doesn't cooperate.  Just in case you are having a relapse, I am going list my symptoms;  because I know how it feels to be alone even when you have a loving friend or spouse.  But how can they really understand, when you yourself doesn't understand why you have to feel like this?

My Doggy Comforter

By the way, for anyone that thinks these symptoms are psychological--that does not make sense.  I have so many things I want to do, and I am struggling to do the basic things in life right now.

My dad used to say, "What doesn't kill you, makes you stronger."  This has made me stronger spiritually.  You see, the Enemy would like us to give up the fight, but my God is a god of hope and grace.  I may be going through a difficult time, but absolutely nothing can separate me from Him.

However, my body feels weak now.  And I have moved from not being able to sleep to falling asleep in the daytime.  Here's a list of symptoms -- I may forget something.

  • sore throat
  • swollen lymph nodes or gland in my throat area
  • joint and muscle pain
  • brain fog
  • dreadful fatigue
  • restless legs syndrome, but not all day
  • sinus problems
  • neck pain
  • shoulder pain
  • back pain, especially lower back
  • weight gain
  • low body temperature
  • heat and cold intolerance
  • tinnitus
  • anxiety, but not all the time
  • hypersensitivity to sound, more than usual, but not every moment of day
  • memory problems (short-term)
  • dry skin
  • light-headiness
  • weakness
  • blurry eye (but not all the time)
Thank goodness, I don't have every one of these symptoms every moment of the day, or I think I would go mad.  And I didn't add dry mouth, which doesn't help at night when you have to get up to go to the bathroom more.  I would not be surprised if I forgot something.

Anyway, I think it is time to focus on taking care of myself better and a little less on blogging and facebook pages.  I am going to be around, but I need to see if I can head this thing off and get back on track.

As far as stress being a factor, I have to admit to feeling a certain duty to tending the blogs and the pages.  However, I think I am going to give myself a break.  If I am feeling pressure about it, then that is not good.  One of the things my doctor before I moved told me was I should not work, because of stress.  But even though I am my own boss and not paid for writing, the A part of my personality has been pushing me.

There is a part of me that says, "You cannot let them down."  But if I don't take care of myself, I will not be here for you.  It is a conundrum.  So, I will vacation a bit from writing as often, or feeling like I have to.  This is part of balancing my life changes.

I know you understand, and if you are a subscriber you know when I write.  Also, I always post announcements various places.  I will see you later.  God bless and take care.
                                                                                                          Love, Deborah

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It's always lovely hearing from you. xoxo, Deborah