Thursday, February 7, 2013

Not Your Fault

February 3, 2013

S L U M P or schlump (pronunciation shlump).  Have I mentioned that word too many times?  I feel like I have it stamped all over me.  On my forehead there is this stamp in red that is glowing "slump, bored, fibro-fog, shake it off, and why me?.  That is just the way I feel with the mire sucking at me:  I can picture my tortured feet trying to walk through the mud to get anything done.  And then -- there is that strange wonky feeling that I'm just a tad off, but if I got up I might be OK, only I cannot get up.  Or I won't get up.  I'm not always sure which it is.  However, if I wait it out without getting super reactive over my unwanted wonkiness, I will eventually be back to a higher level of functioning.

At least,  I know I am not the only one with Chronic Fatigue Syndrome and Fibromyalgia that sometimes feels like this.  I was feeling frustrated, so I thought I would look up some articles on motivation.  The first one was written in lettering so large, I knew I would be scrolling the page forever.  Yes, I know I can change the print, but that blog post was not about the motivation problem CFS and FM patients get.  So I changed the words in the search engine and ran across one of my favorite writers in the area of FM and CFS.  She had an explanation and suggestions that make sense:  It's easy to feel lazy when you just don't have the motivation to do something.  This probably is more of a physiological problem, possibly related to neurotransmitter imbalance, than it is outright laziness... ~Adrienne Dellwo~

February 7, 2013

I have been able to say, "Oh, happy day..." for a few days.  I have still been fatigued, but I have not felt like all productive activity was lost. I am dealing with fibromyalgia aches in unusual places, but not pain that has been incapacitating.  At least I think they are all FM;  therefore,  if I don't have some relief soon, I anticipate a doctor's appointment.  Something important to remember, when you have an illness like FM, is not all pain can actually be attributed to the disease*.  Today is a cool, damp, rainy day in my neck of the woods;  therefore, I am not at all surprised that I feel achy.  I have had Fibromyalgia long enough to know my triggers (most of the time).  Sometimes, I am surprised;  or maybe, I have just forgotten. 

Sometimes, I have to use a cane when I first stand up, especially if I sit too long, but I think that is due to arthritis stiffness in my knees.  However, fibromyalgia can also cause unsteadiness;  so combine that with arthritis, and you have a double whammy.  Considering I have an artificial joint in my left hip and thigh bone, I would rather be safe than sorry.  Once I am on my feet and have gotten those arthritic joints warmed up, I usually discard the cane, putting it beside the chair I sit in most often.  If I didn't I would surely forget where put it.  The lovely thing is I can smile when I say that.  I hope you can too.

*Unless there is a new classification, FM has not yet been classified as a "disease", but as a "syndrome";  however, I call it a Disease, because that is what it feels like to the people that are afflicted with FM.

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It's always lovely hearing from you. xoxo, Deborah