Motivation -- What is that?

Motivation?  For some of us, who have chronic illnesses, motivation is something we had in the past.  I am not saying that we don't want to get things done.  We just can't get started.  Maybe, some of you are saying, "I have no problem with motivation.  I just don't feel good."  If you are very, very ill it is possible that's where you are,  and you can't do any of the things that need doing.  I hope you get better, and I hope you have someone to help.  Hang in there, and don't feel guilty.  If you are like me, you probably are frustrated, because you hate having someone else do your work.  Try thinking of the situation this way.  Other people are blessed by blessing you.  This is a time to be gracious and accept the help.

OH MY!  I did not plan the above paragraph.  But maybe, there is someone out there that needs it.  I know I had a struggle within when I could not do the things I do now.  BUT now, I can get some things done.  However, I got used to being sedentary; and, I think my lack of motivation is partly due to several things that I will list:

• I developed the habit of sitting all the time.
• I got tired easier than I used to.
• I felt overwhelmed.
• I didn't know where to start.
• I was addicted to playing games on the computer, reading, watching TV

Do any of these ring a bell for you?  If you have some others I did not mention, please share them.  So now that I have identified some of the things that I feel blocked me, how did I start changing?  I have read self-help books, articles on the web, articles in magazines, and I have prayed.  I have started trying and stopped.  What changed?  Not much changed, at first.  For a long time, I was blocked and totally drained.  Nothing seemed to work.  But I never gave up hope.  Finally, I saw the only way I was going to change was if I nurtured the child within.  I think this was a God-thing.  I believe I saw this, because He showed me that when I was a child, I did not take on responsibility all at once.  When I was a baby I learned to sit up, to crawl, and to walk in small increments.  I had to exercise those muscles to do those things well.  When I was a child I learned to do groom myself, to pick up my toys, and to take on household chores gradually. And when I was a child, I never felt guilty about playing.  I fished, played dolls, climbed trees, played on the jungle gym, and swam.  I really had fun.

So guess what I did.  I got dressed, found my fishing pole, stepped out the back door, and began fishing.  Yeah. While I was fishing, I would enjoy the scenery and I would pray.  That same day,  I would take 5 minutes to put in a load of laundry or take 5 minutes to work on the pile on the table.  So why am I trying out FlyLady's suggestions?  I need continued motivation, and I think this process is going to help me rebuild my cleaning muscles.  I am being careful to pace myself, which is easy to do with the FlyLady system.  I have to tweek it to fit my needs. 

For instance, I am only on Day 9 of  FlyLady's 31 Beginner Babysteps.  If I was following them consecutively, I would be well past Day 9.  However, that does not mean I have stopped the steps I already learned.  I am trying to do them everyday.  In fact, I worked on my Control Journal today.  I don't know if I will like using it, but I am committed to building some healthy routines.  I say healthy, because I do not think it is healthy for me to sit in a chair all day.  I am committed to working on my baby steps, resting when I need to, and enjoying this process.  And I am enjoying the process.  In fact, I look forward to setting my timer for 5, 7, 10, or 15 minutes and getting busy shining my sink, making my bed, or decluttering.  OK -- maybe, I am going to have to work more on the bed thing.  I don't know if I can honestly say I enjoy making it, but I LOVE looking at it when it is made.  It changes the look of my bedroom, and I feel so relaxed.

I am sorry for chasing rabbits, but I do want to be honest; so you can know you are not alone.  We can do this--one step at a time!