Questioning Why I Have a Difficult Time Doing Activities I Desire to Do

For the most part, I have developed an upbeat outlook on my life;  but, every once in while, I go through the questioning process again--because there is so much I want to do.  And--of course--I would like my life to be like it was when I was healthy.  Thank goodness there is support in the cyber world for those of us that have CFS/ME.  When I start questioning myself about why I don't get out of the house more or why I do not accomplish more around my home,  I read what other people say and I know I am not crazy, lazy, or alone.  I have an illness that I don't want, nor did I ask for it.

Today's article is a departure from my series on using FlyLady's techniques to help me simplify and boost my habits.  I found myself questioning again--feeling guilty for staying home when there are church services on Sunday to go to, funerals to attend, children to visit, boxes to pack for a move, and birthday presents to craft (that are late).  I miss my old life;  but when I try to return to it, I am broken down for months--too fatigued to bathe, pick up, do laundry, or cook.  I find it difficult to do the basic things most people take for granted;  because once I put out the energy, it is gone for days, weeks, or months.  Therefore, I am getting very good at conserving my energy for the things I must do.  I have learned to pace myself;  even though sometimes, I still get a bit confused over what I should do.

Today, I read something that helped me to put my life, as it is now, back into perspective.  I would like to share one of the comments left at the end of Adrienne Dellwo's article Understanding Chronic Fatigue Syndrome: A Simple Explanation--This Goes WAY Beyond Tired!.

 Every chore is like doing a marathon
I've had CFS/ME since 2003 and usually explain the symptoms to friends and family as a "never-ending flu". However, after doing stress exercise testing at the Pacific Fatigue Lab in Stockton California I have discovered a new way to explain it. The testing shows that Post-exertional malaise is so bad that the day after the maximum exercise test day #1 it looks like I had run a marathon, not exercised for 15 minutes. It shows that I don't even produce enough energy per day that is required (on average) to take a shower. That seems to be a good way for others to relate the CFS symptoms to their own lives.

—Guest missjanny 

I invite you to make this a conversation.  I have found it very helpful to read what others have to say.  Let's support one another.