Sometimes you just need a little bit of alone time to clear your head and see things from a new perspective.
~Katrina Mayer
Yesterday, a friend of mine sent this quote to me on Facebook. The more I thought about it, the more I know , that I have to take a break. I'm tired, I'm sick, and I need to spend time away from the computer. Also, my house is beginning to suffer the consequences of the last few weeks; even though, it has been in worse shape than now.
Yes, I have that problem too. Actually, I think you already knew that. I am not Mrs. Perfect Housekeeper: I do the best I can. And lately, my body has required more naps and I still feel too fatigued. Even my brain feels fatigued, and it is affecting me.
Jesus took time away from the crowds during His ministry. If He needed that, how much more is that necessary for the rest of us. Thus, taking note of that in my own life, I know am feeling drained. So, if I miss someone's comment on Facebook or I don't post everyday, I haven't left. I am taking a break, spending time with the Lord, working in my house, and resting. Maybe, I will even go to the park.
Deborah needs to take care of Deborah, just like you all need to take care of yourselves. And, if we don't take care of ourselves it is hard to minister to other people's needs. Therefore, I declare an October break for at least a week, unless I am hit with a moment of inspiration that cannot be ignored.
Take note of this in your own lives. When you are feeling emptied out and fatigued to the core, it may be time to step back and reassess. You may not even need to reassess: you may need to play and nurture your inner child. The point is we all need mini-vacations, even if it is just for a day. That doesn't mean you have to go out of town. But, you may need a shift from the norm, especially if you feel you are in a rut. Even that can be done at home.
Maybe, you need to pamper yourself a little: do your nails, get your hair trimmed, and shave your legs. Men, you don't have to shave your legs or do your nails, other than trimming them. Maybe, you need to go on a picnic, go golfing, go fishing, or take a walk in the park.
Have you been procrastinating on doing some things that would renew your spirit: painting a picture, playing the piano, or writing a poem? Do you need a mini-retreat with your Bible and a journal to spend unhurried time with God?
What do you need? What would minister to your mind, your body, and your spirit? Even an hour away is better than none.
My prayer is that you find time to rest and renew. We get so busy, that it is sometimes hard to slow our minds down; then, all of a sudden, we realize we have run out of inspiration. Or, we may have it, but we are too tired to actually implement it.
That's where I am. So, I know you will understand as I take a break. I may even make the doctor's appointment I put off. The one I had for October was cancelled by my doctor's office, and I never seem to call them at the right time.
Remember -- you need to care for yourself in order to be able to care for others. When you have a chronic illness, you cannot continually run on empty, because you will suffer the consequences. We will feel like better husbands, wives, grandmothers, mothers, fathers, grandfathers, and friends when we care for ourselves. It's a matter of pacing ourselves, and we sometimes need longer blocks of time to renew.
Sometimes, we may feel a little like we are on a runaway train; that, it is impossible to get off. Hey! It's not impossible. We can get off. We just have to do it.
I am doing it.
I plan to see you in about a week.
Love, Deborah
If you have already read today's post, you would have noticed several errors in agreement or I left a word out. I read it when I wrote it, and I did not see the errors. However, I have also noticed that I have read a couple of things wrong today that I did not write, but when I glanced at them again, I saw the right words. For instance, I wanted dried cranberries from my pantry today, but all I saw were the words cherries on both packages. I turned around and looked again, and I saw cranberries on one. I think this is an excellent example of cognitive dysfunction, which can happen when someone is more ill than usual or stressed. I have had to be very careful to focus on one thing at a time, because my thoughts feel scattered. It is disconcerting when it happens, because I don't always have this symptom as strongly as I do now.
I hope you know that even though I don't know all my readers, I deeply care that in some way your lives are affected for good by reading this blog, which I consider my home blog--or that you are blessed by one of my other blogs. I love writing the blogs, which I consider not only a ministry, but also fulfillment of one of my dreams. However, I am finding they do take a lot of time and energy, so I'm trying to learn to be more efficient in this area, but I am not there yet.
Most of you know I undertook my own challenge to try to do Flylady's 31 Beginner Babysteps. I knew it might take longer, and I thought I would be able to finish by Wednesday; however, I have made the decision to go back to Day 24 today, and try to work on this everyday until I am finished. Of course, one is never "finished" with housework: the repetitive stuff of daily living always reoccurs. Therefore, I am going to leave my blogs until last everyday this week. There may be some days I don't write. I do not know. However, I know I need to have order here in my household, which is better than it was; but, I have not had energy to do what I was doing during the summer and early fall.
I need to explore why I don't have the energy. Is it the blogging? I like to get them right, and I feel I owe it to you to give you a quality blog. Is it because I am sitting too much? I wasn't too successful with timing myself on blogging. My mind has felt almost overfull at times with the needs of things to do. Is it because I have forgotten to take all my supplements sometimes, even though I took the time to put them in a container for the week. Am I being lazy sometimes? Yes, I that thought still occurs in my mind sometimes. Maybe, it is the insecurity that comes with chronic illness that breeds that question. I have a highly developed sense of commitment, and it has been difficult coming to the realization I cannot do everything I think is important.
Therefore, I can understand why people that do not understand the nature of my illnesses cannot understand why I have difficulty doing things that I once did. For instance, even though I have tried, I cannot seem to get back into going to church every Sunday. I believe this is an important thing for Hebrews 10:25 tells believers not to forsake assembling together. Corporate worship is an important element in the Christian life, as are teaching, preaching, and the ordinances of worship. It makes me sad to miss this. I have always wanted to be at worship, since I was a young child. In fact, I have always been in a choir since I was 6 years old. However, my sleep problems, the fibromyalgia, and the chronic fatigue syndrome have severely interfered with this part of my life. Moreover, I also believe that being a Christian is not just a Sunday exercise. There should be communion with God in my daily life, wherever I am, so I do that. But I am missing being active in my church and community. If you would like to pray for me to be able to be able to worship and fellowship more with believers in my community, I would greatly appreciate that.
I will try to write one blog everyday this week, but I am not sure which ones are going to get the attention. Maybe, I will spread it out. However, I am not making any promises for this is going to be a week of spiritual renewal and concentrating on my household. I think next Monday, the 12th of November will be day 31 on my babysteps. I am going to have to take this one day at a time. I am praying for strength and wisdom.
What do you need? What would minister to your mind, your body, and your spirit? Even an hour away is better than none.
