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May we have many more blogs that give you a boost or good information. Sometimes, I feel like I am about to run dry, but that is also true of Fibromyalgia and Chronic Fatigue Syndrome. I am sure you know how it is to feel like you have dried up and the real you, though still inside, is buried under all the fatigue.
However, have you ever tried to figure out whether it was post-exertional fatigue that hit you or depression? This happened to me during the last couple of weeks. The desire to want to do things was there; but so, was the guilt of thinking myself lazy. I finally came to the conclusion I was depressed; and yet, I wasn't in the way I was before I found out I had CFS and I was on a regimen for physical improvement.
Today, I finally got to the point where I did something I wanted to do -- change and wash the sheets and pillowcases on my bed. It wore me out; therefore, it brought me back to the depression versus fatigue question of why I find myself sitting in a chair most of the time. People with depression are usually unmotivated and don't care about doing anything. People who have CFS want to do things, but either do not have energy or run out quickly.
However, I know if I wait out the inactivity phase long enough, I will become motivated. This leads me to believe it is the Chronic Fatigue Syndrome that has been making me feel off-balance the last couple of weeks. Also, it happened after a week and a weekend with a mixture of activity; cleaning, stress, both bad and good; as well as having a wonderful visit with my niece; and, going out more than I had gone out in two months. No wonder I was sitting.
Does any of this sound familiar? Do you sometimes get in a slump, which is confusing? You do not know whether it is depression, laziness, Chronic Fatigue Syndrome, or Fibromyalgia. How do you handle your slumps? Do you drag yourself out of bed and try to do the things you would do if you felt good, or do you rest? Is there any particular thing, such as music, company coming, or ?????? that helps you to do at least a little bit of the regular chores? I would love to know, because we are all different; and, maybe you might suggest something that would help someone else.
I have experienced exactly what you have described right down to changing the sheets and being totally wiped out! For 40 years I have just plugged along. Acceptance of my limitations and gratitude for what I CAN do, helps me keep on keeping on. My mantra....it'll be better tomorrow (or next week, month, year, etc !!!!!
ReplyDeleteAm there right now..... can't seem to get physically going again & not sure why. Could sleep around the clock but push myself every morning to get up; get dressed; try to stay "connected" even for a few minutes with outside world via computer & do 1-2 very simple chores around the house. Have a feeling something needs tweaking in my diet, too as intolerances lend me to diet free of gluten, soy, dairy, oats, eggs, beans; meat (abhor fish but eat a little shrimp) & goitrogenic foods. Toss in neuromuscular disorder that recently greatly progress so have pretty well lost use of my legs. Weather isn't helping here either due to months on end of volatile fronts than make neuro issues even more pronounced.. I WANT to keep going/fighting/living but exhaustion is carrying me away. Depression? No doubt. CFS? Yuppers!. I keep embracing each moment despite it all. Am working hard to "live in the moment" so I can feel what my body is telling me it needs. Used to be more "in tune" with it but recently seems I've lost that connection. If nothing else, it keeps life from being dull & if nothing else it "stretches" the mind. ;)
DeleteI can tell the difference in me...depending on what I am looking forward to when I first wake up in the morning. As I am hobbling to the bathroom with my stiffened, painful arthritic knees....I think about my day ahead. If my thoughts go to the things I want to do and/or accomplish...then I know I am doing okay. If my thoughts run to just making it to my recliner and planning my naps for the day....then I know that I am heading into a depression. Even if my pain and/or fatigue level makes it so that I CAN'T do much of anything other than nap that day......it's my thoughts of the future that indicate whether or not I am going into a depression. When I can look back and realize that I have done NONE of my favorite activities for a period of time....then I know that I am IN a depression and I need help. (I have been dealing with major depression for so long that I can recognize the symptoms and can monitor it that way...rather then stay on medication all the time. I enjoy life better without antidepressants, but I know I need them from time to time...and probably will for the rest of my life. )
ReplyDeleteIt is helpful to read your comments, because there are those times I start wondering if I did something differently, that it might make a difference. I see now that there is a certain amount that must be endured, because it just is. I tried to explain it to someone recently, and I felt frustrated that I had to even explain myself and my situation, because it is hard for most people to understand. If we feel like we just want to get up and out, as well as doing the things we want, WHEN we want to do them, how can we expect "normals" to understand? I guess we just have to realize they won't.
ReplyDeleteI hate it when I reread something, and it does not entirely make sense. By "normals", I meant healthy people; people, who do not have to always consider how much energy they will have left when they want to go out, or they are planning on having visitors to their home. When I was healthier, that was not a consideration for me.
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