|I want to be like this bee, doing my work|
without having to think about it -- just do
it because it needs to be done.
One of the things I abhor about flare-ups is the inactivity and having to make a comeback. I am never sure how much I can regain, because one loses muscle tone during periods like this. Also, it was not a flare-up alone: it was illness on top of chronic illness that caused the flare-up. My sleep schedule is a shambles, because it does not comply with "normal." And, I have had to take frequent naps. It is amazing to me, who has never been a nap person, that I need to lie down in bed when I was there two hours ago.
I feel like I need a month at the beach, basking in warm sunshine and taking leisurely swims in the salt water. Or at least floating in the salt water. Right now, a wave would probably knock me over, because by the time I walked down to the beach, I would have to rest. Sometimes, I wonder if I would feel better if I lived near the beach all the time. OK. That's an aside. I have to grow where I'm planted, and I am planted in a small southern town in the USA, needing to manage another Chronic Fatigue Syndrome flare-up.
In my zeal to encourage my readers, I was hoping I would not have to go through this cycle of regulating my habits and pacing again. I wanted to manage my illness "perfectly"; however, that is not my reality. And I am longing to know if other people that have CFS/ME/CFIDS go through these huge ups and downs, or if they are able to slog through the flare-ups.
As far as housework goes, I have cooked a few meals, done a few cleanups, and done some laundry. Also, I have been able to do some writing, but I have had to get off the computer much sooner. Even using the computer makes me tired. I am already there and this post has been an easy one to write. So there it is, laid out, admitted, and wondering whether this will ever end or get worse. I need to close my eyes again.
Love you guys.