Monday, March 4, 2013

Wondering How to Come Back from this Flare-up?

I want to be like this bee, doing my work
without having to think about it -- just do
it because it needs to be done.
Today, I am figuring out how on earth I am going to start being active again.  I have been so fatigued the past month and a half that I have lost more ground.  After a long period of inactivity, it is difficult to get moving again, especially adding housework.  And as you can imagine, it is also overwhelming.  I have been a pajama girl for long enough to make pajamas a habit again.

One of the things I abhor about flare-ups is the inactivity and having to make a comeback.  I am never sure how much I can regain, because one loses muscle tone during periods like this.  Also, it was not a flare-up alone:  it was illness on top of chronic illness that caused the flare-up.  My sleep schedule is a shambles, because it does not comply with "normal."  And, I have had to take frequent naps.  It is amazing to me, who has never been a nap person, that I need to lie down in bed when I was there two hours ago.

I feel like I need a month at the beach, basking in warm sunshine and taking leisurely swims in the salt water. Or at least floating in the salt water.  Right now, a wave would probably knock me over, because by the time I walked down to the beach, I would have to rest.  Sometimes, I wonder if I would feel better if I lived near the beach all the time.  OK.  That's an aside.  I have to grow where I'm planted, and I am planted in a small southern town in the USA, needing to manage another Chronic Fatigue Syndrome flare-up.

In my zeal to encourage my readers, I was hoping I would not have to go through this cycle of regulating my habits and pacing again.  I wanted to manage my illness "perfectly";  however, that is not my reality.  And I am longing to know if other people that have CFS/ME/CFIDS go through these huge ups and downs, or if they are able to slog through the flare-ups.  

As far as housework goes, I have cooked a few meals, done a few cleanups, and done some laundry.  Also, I have been able to do some writing, but I have had to get off the computer much sooner.  Even using the computer makes me tired.  I am already there and this post has been an easy one to write.  So there it is, laid out, admitted, and wondering whether this will ever end or get worse.  I need to close my eyes again.

Love you guys.

No comments:

Post a Comment

It's always lovely hearing from you. xoxo, Deborah