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O my goodness! It has been ages since I have written here, but I do check in every once in a while. I just do not have as much time to write, because being more active and getting out more means less time on the computer. Also, my sleep has improved, so I am not up in the middle of the night, writing blog posts as much as I used to do. In fact, I really need to go do some house cleaning right now, so I am going to get off the computer soon. My lesson here is that I could feel guilty that I am not posting here daily anymore, but my family is important to me, and I need to care for my family and home--so I Do Not feel guilty. Also, one of the things I have been working toward in my particular journey is getting out around people more, and that takes time too.
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Actually getting out is far different than being in the house all the time, which was my plight for quite a few years. One of the projects I hope to get to this summer is to write about what I think has helped me to be able to do that. I am still working on getting out regularly. I don't know if it will never get to the point that I do not have to actually think about the process of how to get out around other people or not. I am just thankful to God that I am able to do it now; and right now, I still have to use the steps that help me do that -- baby steps.
Baby Steps can lead you into real change, but you have to be willing to do the work, which includes actually moving your body more (I am talking about getting off the couch and doing some housework or running some errands.) I am not suggesting you get into a workout program, especially without the proper physical therapy support. How you move more or where is up to you and your medical team. I found the most practical thing for me was adding a little bit of movement every day or every week, as appropriate to my physical condition. I do mine through everyday actions: cleaning, adding a few extra steps, etc. Maybe eventually, I will add in more formal physical exercises; however, I am experiencing real change, because I have been willing to move more. I have to add that the natural products I take helped me with that. To leave that out would be leaving out something that I feel was a huge breakthrough for me. The supplements I use have been fairly easy for me to get the right mix, something that would have been so hard to figure out on my own and hard to buy quality I felt I could trust in the stores. (If you want to know more about the products I use, please message me on Facebook at https://www.facebook.com/ChronicFatigueandCreativeDecluttering1 )
For those of you who deal with illnesses, you may say to me that I do not understand; however, I do. It has taken years, finding the right supplements and meds, as well as working on the mental aspects of my life that had changed through illness and other things in my life. It has taken spiritual assessment and re-surrendering to Jesus/God. I am still a work in process: I will be until the day I see Jesus face to face.
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Finally, I would say, "Do not give up." Even a small amount of progress is progress. The steps backward will happen, and you will be tempted to say that this is an impossible journey; however, nothing is too hard for God. I have had plenty of steps backwards, but that just opened up an opportunity to take another step forward. It is easier than it was when I started, but every step forward leads to added achievements (small achievements add up). Sometimes, I fall into a funk and feel like a failure, but I know things are better here than they were. I keep chipping away. It is worth it. Again, I say, "It is worth it!"
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It is not just one thing that has helped me. It is a combination of things: spiritual, psychological, supplements (natural products), medication (I am actually taking less medication now), and action. I put spiritual first, because God is first in my life and I believe God has led me through this maze of life. I am on the path. Jesus is my Savior, and He did not say we would never see trouble, irregardless of what some prosperity gospel advocates and gurus seem to spout.
One of the hardest barriers to break has been panic attacks involved with going to certain places and agoraphobia. There are real psychological barriers that become entrenched in our brains. I am not going to even attempt to explain that here, but I have read about the loops that we can get stuck in; and, my understanding is there is a neurological, physical thing here involving neurons and synapses in the brain that can be broken through behavioral conditioning. I feel like I have had a small battering ram to get past some of the cyclical loops, then they tried to close in behind me to get me stuck again. I found a book that has been helpful. Also, I have a couple of other tools listed below that have been very helpful in breaking the cyclical loops caused by chemicals in the brain that affect fight and flight syndrome (anxiety and panic attacks). The reason I mention this is I know the things that hold us back can be complicated because of the mental and the physical things we have gone through (are going through). Even writing about this is starting to give me a bit of a headache: going over the past over and over again does not change a thing for me, but looking forward and taking baby steps has helped tremendously. Fearing what might come next is a fruitless exercise; but, living today as it is and taking small steps forward is life-changing.
Scriptures, Articles, and Books You May Find Helpful
- Matthew 6:25-34
- Stop Worrying about What Others Think and Set Your Mind on Christ
- Hope and Help for Your Nerves by Dr. Claire Weekes (This book has been like one of the final links in the chain of recovery for me. I wish I had discovered it years ago; however, wallowing in regret and bitterness over my path would be useless. For some reason, I never saw it in any of my counseling and research. I can only surmise that God knew I needed to walk the path I have walked to bring to my present and my future and for what reasons I went that way.)
- Coping Technique for grounding yourself if you feel an anxiety attack coming on or you are caught in a full blown panic attack.
