Update: I have been using some natural products for over two years, and I feel much better. I have been trying to figure out what to do with this blog, and I think it may still help someone. Figuring these things out is part of the journey. 1/30/2017
Before the age of 46 years, my life was very active. I enjoyed participating in a variety of athletic activities, and I spent a lot of time outdoors with my family. I also loved gardening and improving our backyard. One of my favorite places to read my Bible and pray was out on the little brick patio I built. My family also enjoyed sitting out there together. Even though I worked hard to stay active, going to the gym, walking, playing tennis, and swimming, I lost more and more physical ability because of pain and my body's inability to reactivate energy in a normal manner.
I also taught and participated in my community and in my church. I was a frequent chaperone on church youth trips, and participated with the young people in other activities. So having invisible / chronic Illnesses put a definite crimp in my style. My heart was in ministry, and the more I had to stay home the more it hurt. I tried to stay active, but I had to let more and more go. It also affected my ability to do things with my family.
The last thing to go in my participation at church has been singing in the choir and singing solos. I keep hoping that someday I will find enough energy to rejoin the choir; however, every time I try to sing in the choir, I end up having a flare or relapse.
Community is important. But, it is often lost when one has to spend more hours at home because of illness. I miss not being able to worship with other believers at my church every Sunday. Also, I miss the fellowship. However, many of you that have Chronic Fatigue Syndrome know how even getting ready to go somewhere and being in a large group setting can drain you. When I do go, I can count on time down, even though I am happy I could go. From the bottom of my heart, I never thought I would be unable to go to Worship services at my church or fellowships on most Sundays. For a long time, I carried a double load of guilt around, because I love being with other Christians and my husband is the (minister of music) Worship Pastor as well as ministering to senior adults at our church.
The last thing to go in my participation at church has been singing in the choir and singing solos. I keep hoping that someday I will find enough energy to rejoin the choir; however, every time I try to sing in the choir, I end up having a flare or relapse.
Community is important. But, it is often lost when one has to spend more hours at home because of illness. I miss not being able to worship with other believers at my church every Sunday. Also, I miss the fellowship. However, many of you that have Chronic Fatigue Syndrome know how even getting ready to go somewhere and being in a large group setting can drain you. When I do go, I can count on time down, even though I am happy I could go. From the bottom of my heart, I never thought I would be unable to go to Worship services at my church or fellowships on most Sundays. For a long time, I carried a double load of guilt around, because I love being with other Christians and my husband is the (minister of music) Worship Pastor as well as ministering to senior adults at our church.
Even though being ill has taken me to dark places,
God has not let me stay there.
He has always been working to renew my mind and spirit.
In my weakest and most pain-filled moments,
He has been teaching me to be content in my situation and have peace.
I don’t profess to having all the answers, nor to doing things perfectly.
But, I am learning better ways to pace myself;
And, I can honestly say that am thankful to be a pilgrim,
Traveling “my path.”*
*Traveling my path is a reference (Psalm 139:3a).
God has not let me stay there.
He has always been working to renew my mind and spirit.
In my weakest and most pain-filled moments,
He has been teaching me to be content in my situation and have peace.
I don’t profess to having all the answers, nor to doing things perfectly.
But, I am learning better ways to pace myself;
And, I can honestly say that am thankful to be a pilgrim,
Traveling “my path.”*
*Traveling my path is a reference (Psalm 139:3a).
Love to my Readers,
Deborah Bolton
Deborah,
ReplyDeleteYou seem like such a wonderful lady ..and your website was JUST the thing I needed to find right now. I am 40 and feeling on the verge of finding out that I have a similar problem with chronic illness. I've been having severe nerve pain flares down the right side of my body ..thus, severely curtailing my abilities to move and be productive. With the usually following lack of sleep, I know I don't have to tell you that that can be absolutely debilitating. Anyway, sorry I got off on a tangent ..I am just so thrilled to find someone who really seems to understand what this is like. I, too, have tried working the FlyLady program, but as you indicated, it is also not my cup of tea. Again, I am thrilled to discover your website and, to read about your successes ..it gives me hope. Also, I'll be sharing your website with a couple of people who also need this kind of a boost ..I know they will really appreciate it. So, all the best to you this Christmas season ..and onward :)
J.
Dear J,
DeleteThank you. I hope you find what you need for encouragement and motivation here, as well as adjusting to being slowed down by your nerve pain. I used to suffer with needless guilt over not being able to do as much as I did before I was sick. Learning to manage our activities while dealing with stressful guilt takes away from the energy we do have. I love that you think this blog might help other people you know. God bless and Merry Christmas.
Deborah
Dear Debby, there is much here that I can fully relate to. Having our lives constrained by chronic illness is a painful thing indeed. We have to seek a new 'normal' and try to work within those parameters. It isn't easy by any means and I share your frustrations. Though there truly is a silver lining too for those who lean harder on the Lord and discover His holding and keeping power in adversity.
ReplyDeleteYou are a tremendous inspiration to so many, a great ambassador for Christ in your life and writing. May He continue to strengthen, heal and equip you to do the good works He has called you to do. Blessings, love and prayers Xx :)
Dear Joy, you are an inspiration to me and a wonderful encourager. I am so thankful for your friendship. I am praying for you to have energy to enjoy Christmas with your family. Many blessings, love, and prayers...xx
DeleteHi,
ReplyDeleteI work with a doctor named Bill Rawls in North Carolina who has recently written a book about his struggle with fibromyalgia/CFS called "Suffered Long Enough." He is a traditionally trained physician, but found the medical community's treatments for his illness lacking, so he developed his own. Would you possibly be interested in writing something about the book on your blog? I'd love to give you an advanced copy if you're interested. It's out November 10.
Thanks so much for your time.
Sincerely,
Alex Granados