tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-23567458541746661302024-03-13T14:02:08.911-04:00Learning to Balance Life ChangesWhat I have learned is I can accomplish many things in baby steps. This keeps life's challenges and chores from being overwhelming, as well as making them more pleasurable. This is why I keep writing and sharing, hoping you will be encouraged to join the dance of balance and grace.Deborah Boltonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16010919623550536062noreply@blogger.comBlogger310125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2356745854174666130.post-77060442463185723902018-10-16T19:43:00.001-04:002018-10-19T11:09:56.850-04:00A Rule: Life Will Keep ChangingSometimes, you go through periods of seemingly regular, even hum-drum activity. You know the routine: get up; go to work; clean the house; fix the meals; get the kids off to school, unless you home-school and that involves other have to's like planning lessons. There are the scheduled things you do that are fulfilling and the things you consider chores, which you may or may not see as fulfilling. I think that depends on the person and in some cases, a certain maturity level.<br />
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The point is life often seems to have a certain rhythm, until something comes along and disrupts that rhythm. It can be unsettling, especially if it is something difficult; however, there are challenges when the change is caused by something good too. For me, the whole year of 2018 has been a mixture of the good, the bad, and the ugly. We have had serious issues to deal with that involved a job; moving a sickly family member, which involved frequent travel; preparing ourselves for a move; going through interviews; and lots of praying and waiting to see what direction we were going.<br />
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After we moved, which we considered a wonderful thing ordained by God, we encountered other circumstances that were fresh, new, and exciting, as well as some that were difficult. Both my husband and I had new ministries, we were becoming active in our community, and we were (actually we still are) making wonderful friends. We were living in a lovely house, which I am still putting together after two and half months. Then there is the difficult I mentioned: family members that passed away, and we could only go to one funeral, which was upsetting; ongoing elder care; our car had a collision with a feral dog, which literally walked into our moving car (weirdest thing I ever saw); and serious illness in our immediate family, with ongoing treatments.<br />
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It's almost like someone took a bucket of mixed things that can happen to you, and threw it at us; then, that person said, "Okay. let's see how you are going to handle that." This has been a different kind of year, and there has only been one way to get through it. Do you think it was by sheer willpower? No! Well, maybe it was by having a positive mindset. Some say that can help, but no, positive thinking alone is not the answer, even if it is better to focus on the pure, the lovely, and the good, which is biblical. Well, maybe you think if you had a ton of money, that would make everything better. However, even while it's nice to have enough money for your needs; historically, you should know that wealth can be lost in a moment. By the way, just so ya'll know -- this gal has never been wealthy by the world's standards.<br />
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However, my Father does own the cattle on a thousand hills. And, I can go to Him whenever I have a need. I can rely on Him to help me with all kinds of things: forgiving people that are not apologetic, comforting me when I feel sad or fearful; trusting Him to guide me along my path of life; and helping me to adjust to all circumstances -- the bad, the good, the in between, the seemingly chaotic; the unexpected; the sad; the sacred; the mundane; and the wonderful. There is no circumstance in my life that God cannot help me with. I have a Savior, Jesus Christ. I can take all my concerns to my Father God through Jesus Christ. Even though worried thoughts may try to assault my mind, I can take all this to Him in prayer and <span style="font-family: inherit;">leave</span> it at the throne of grace, knowing that God hears me. Philippians 4:6-7 tells us <i>do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus (ESV)</i>.<br />
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<span style="background-color: white;">This brings me back to the hum-drum and the regularity of my life, which has not totally returned. In some ways, that feels unsettling, but it also keeps me on my toes. It reminds me not to get caught up in routines, leaving God out of the mix. When I sometimes wake up in the morning with a feeling of impending doom, I pray. I do not stay in the feeling. I go on with what I have to do next during that day. I know that is often difficult for some of you, because your body's chemistry is all messed up. Chronic illness is a bummer, no fun at all. *However, I know from my own experience, taking baby steps to discipline and control your thoughts can actually be beneficial. I am sharing a page with you, which I googled. It is <a href="https://www.biblestudytools.com/topical-verses/bible-verses-about-our-thoughts/" target="_blank">Bible Verses About Our Thoughts</a>. I hope you find these helpful as you travel your path, even through the Changes in your life, both large and small.</span><br />
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<span style="background-color: white;">I also find reading my Bible on a regular basis, as well as attending Worship at a Bible believing local church, and having fellowship with other Christians is very helpful. If you are at a point in your life where you can serve in some capacity, whether singing in the choir, helping with the kid's or youth ministry, visiting shut-ins, or a variety of other volunteer positions, your service would bless others. Maybe, you could volunteer somewhere else, or perhaps you have all you can handle right now. Ask God to show you what you should be doing. I had several years that my service was to my family and encouraging people through this blog. That was all I could do. </span><br />
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<span style="background-color: white;">Most of all, it is important to be a follower of Jesus. Read the Bible. Spend time there. You might think of starting with the book of John. And, do not go it alone, even if you have ever had issues with someone at a church or you are avoiding going to church for some other reason. I pray you find a good fellowship of believers; then, spend time in God's word and worshiping Him. Also, remember that those folks are human just like you; and, none of us are perfect. If we were, we wouldn't need a Savior. Bitterness and unforgiveness are poison to our souls; and, I think it is poison to our bodies as well. So, take what you are dealing with to God. Let Him help you forgive and let Him direct your thoughts. </span><br />
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<span style="background-color: white;">*I cannot guarantee that anyone will have the same physical results I did. I found wonderful supplements through a friend, which along with the baby steps I was already taking in my life to heal, have changed my life. I have added Intermittent Fasting, which has been very good for me. My life is an ongoing process, a unique quilting project that continues to evolve. I have faith that God knows exactly where I am, and He is my guide. What a beautiful life, even those threads that get knots in them! I am still using the Baby Step process. It is amazing what small steps add up too when you look back over a series of years. What if I had never done that? What if I had given up, and I had decided that baby steps and supplements could not work for me? Then, I might never have felt healthier and have had improved habits. I would most likely be chronically depressed on top of being sick. I am so thankful that God showed me a better way. I pray He does the same for you.</span><br />
<br />Deborah Boltonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16010919623550536062noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2356745854174666130.post-39306831516374482682018-09-24T15:44:00.000-04:002018-09-24T21:40:58.853-04:00When Life Has You Moving Again!Looking back on the past can be helpful when you realize how blessed you are to have grown in the Lord, to have the problem of how to get everything done when you are healthier and doing more, and you have moved to a larger house, but you have less stuff. However, I am doing so much more in my church and in my community, that I am taking much longer to unpack and put away our belongings than I would like. But, that is a minor problem when I consider what I used to struggle with in my life.<br />
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<a href="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-YZQs6eA8EsU/W6k7qtXuq5I/AAAAAAAAFNA/MguLgGxO_AQ_wPVGhJVPA1d-mBmi_bpsgCLcBGAs/s1600/IMG_5070%255B1%255D.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1200" data-original-width="1600" height="150" src="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-YZQs6eA8EsU/W6k7qtXuq5I/AAAAAAAAFNA/MguLgGxO_AQ_wPVGhJVPA1d-mBmi_bpsgCLcBGAs/s200/IMG_5070%255B1%255D.JPG" width="200" /></a>I am thinking about taking up the blogging again, right here; because, I am still Learning to Balance Life Changes. I may also need a new facebook page. I deleted my old one. It just Did Not Fit anymore. I am trying to think of a new name for it. So, the saga continues.<br />
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Below is a link, which has a blog post that reminds me that with God's help and with perseverance I can manage my household well. Click on the next underlined sentence to read that blog post.<br />
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<a href="https://learningtobalancelifechanges.blogspot.com/2013/09/i-moved-into-smaller-home-where-do-i.html" target="_blank">When I moved into a smaller home. </a><br />
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I now have a new problem to deal with. I am having to get used to balancing the life of an active woman, like I used to have before I dealt with chronic illness. Not only am I healthier; I am part of a very active fellowship. I'm teaching children on Sunday mornings, and I am out and about during the week more. I love the variety of my life. Praise be to God for bringing me to this point in my life.<br />
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Here is my favorite room right now. I love how my hallway turned out. Yes this is my hallway, and I love it. I like the whole house, and the kitchen is a great one for company and cooking.<br />
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I hope you enjoyed this glimpse into my home. We have a new church home too. This house belongs to them, but they want us to feel comfortable and at home here. I do. I just wish i had already found a place for everything. I am slowly getting there and living life fully in the process. Now, I have to go make cookies for the college kids. Hugs. Ya'll have a great week!Deborah Boltonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16010919623550536062noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2356745854174666130.post-84836805128038338252017-01-30T17:03:00.000-05:002017-01-30T17:03:51.360-05:00Ask for Help! Chores That Take More Than One PersonMy husband and I are blessed to have a Sleep Number bed, and we have enjoyed it for about ten years. We got it when I was in the height of pain, and I could not stand to be touched. All of those who have uncontrolled Fibromyalgia know what I am talking about. Anyway, a few weeks ago, I pushed the button to let some air out, and I had a rude middle of the night experience, which meant I had to wake up my husband. All the air had gone out of my side as I adjusted the bed, and I couldn't stop it. That is the only time that has happened to me, and I think it is because the plug to the air unit was knocked loose at the same time I was adjusting the air. We have one of the older models, so our beds air control is not remote. My sister has one that has a remote with no cord, and that is awesome.<br />
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In the process, I got a view of the unit that puts the air into the mattress. I usually cannot see it, and you know that old saying, <span style="font-size: large;">"Out of sight, out of mind." </span> I bet I had not cleaned it off for five years. Gross, huh? It was so dusty, and I determined that I would do it.<br />
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When But I Would Rather Do It Myself Is No Longer An Option<br />
However, in my wiser, older age, I knew that pushing and pulling the bed around would not be a smart thing to do. It's a very heavy bed, and I needed help; so, I saved the job for a Saturday, when my husband had time to help. Neither of us were thrilled about doing this any day of the week, much less on a Saturday. However, my DH (dear husband) knew it was the best thing to do for both of us. <br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">I hope you have someone in your life that can help you with the jobs that are too big for one.</span> If he had not been here to help, I would have not been able to clean as quickly or as thoroughly as I did today. I thought about the dust, and how often you will find an elderly person's home terribly dusty. It is probably because he or she has a hard time dusting, and can only do a minimal job. That may be me someday, but as long as I can keep the dust mites at bay, I am going to do my best. The job may not be perfect every time, but regular dusting and vacuuming make a difference.<br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">Remember to ask someone to help you when you have a two person job. </span> Even if it is just to help with moving a couple of things, speak up. You might be surprised if you ask a loved one or a friend if they have time to help. I also think it would be valid to call a handyman to do a heavy job. For those who cannot afford to call a handyman, perhaps your church has a deacon's ministry or a men's ministry that will help out their widows and widowers, as well as those who are disabled or quite elderly. <br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">People do not know what you need if you are unwilling to ask for help.</span> A good example of this would be one of my elderly neighbors. I know she grows weary of asking for help, but we want to help her. Recently, she called because her garbage pickup container had fallen over, and she cannot hoist that thing up. It is just two awkward for her, and she might fall. I knew I could do it, because I have washed mine out when it was empty, and I assured her I could easily do it. She is so sweet, because she was worried I would fall. What I notice about helping others is it makes me happy. So when you need help, remember that it is also a blessing to those who are willing to serve when you give them the opportunity to do that.<br />
<br />Deborah Boltonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16010919623550536062noreply@blogger.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2356745854174666130.post-90239690659456936332016-09-06T21:00:00.001-04:002017-01-30T22:34:06.151-05:00Just Not Feeling It? Read this!Today, are you just not feeling it? You do not have a burning desire to do your housework or any work that needs doing. However, you do not want to slip in the good habits you have developed, and this is not a day you planned to take off. So, what do you do?<br />
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Consider your options. Maybe, you do need a day off. Only you know that, and it is acceptable to make that decision if you are able to work it into your schedule. However, you may be experiencing a mood change, which means you might need to practice the following steps:<br />
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<li>Feel the feeling. Acknowledge it, and don't spend an hour questioning why you feel this way.</li>
<li>Accept it. </li>
<li>Float right on through this feeling and start doing.</li>
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If you are not yet dressed, get your clothes on and comb your hair. Moisturize and put on makeup (makeup is optional). Don't forget your shoes. You need to wear comfortable, supportive shoes.<br />
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Do the first job. I like to start in the kitchen. For you it may be something different, and I realize that having children at home may change the first thing you need to do. Once you get this far, and time passes, you may not feel like you did when doing housework or other work seemed to be a hard thing to do. Sometimes, getting started is all you need to do to feel good about your day and to know you can make progress. Moreover, knowing that you have accomplished some of your goals if not all of them will make you feel so much better at the end of your day. <br />
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<br />Deborah Boltonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16010919623550536062noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2356745854174666130.post-89596980965316436102016-06-28T16:04:00.000-04:002016-06-28T22:31:03.407-04:00Change Is Possible<div class="" data-block="true" data-editor="b5us6" data-offset-key="3hq1i-0-0" style="background-color: white;">
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<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">O my goodness! It has been ages since I have written here, but I do check in every once in a while. I just do not have as much time to write, because being more active and getting out more means less time on the computer. Also, my sleep has improved, so I am not up in the middle of the night, writing blog posts as much as I used to do. In fact, I really need to go do some house cleaning right now, so I am going to get off the computer soon. My lesson here is that I could feel guilty that I am not posting here daily anymore, but my family is important to me, and I need to care for my family and home--so I Do Not feel guilty. Also, one of the things I have been working toward in my particular journey is getting out around people more, and that takes time too. </span></div>
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<span data-offset-key="3hq1i-0-0"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">Actually getting out is far different than being in the house all the time, which was my plight for quite a few years. One of the projects I hope to get to this summer is to write about what I think has helped me to be able to do that. I am still working on getting out regularly. I don't know if it will never get to the point that I do not have to actually think about the process of <i>how</i> to get out around other people or not. I am just thankful to God that I am able to do it now; and right now, I still have to use the steps that help me do that -- baby steps. </span></span></div>
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<span style="color: #1d2129; font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 18px; white-space: pre-wrap;">Baby Steps can lead you into real change, but you have to be willing to do the work, which includes actually moving your body more (I am talking about getting off the couch and doing some housework or running some errands.) I am not suggesting you get into a workout program, especially without the proper physical therapy support. How you move more or where is up to you and your medical team. I found the most practical thing for me was adding a little bit of movement every day or every week, as appropriate to my physical condition. I do mine through everyday actions: cleaning, adding a few extra steps, etc. Maybe eventually, I will add in more formal physical exercises; however, I am experiencing real change, because I have been willing to move more. I have to add that the natural products I take helped me with that. To leave that out would be leaving out something that I feel was a huge breakthrough for me. The supplements I use have been fairly easy for me to get the right mix, something that would have been so hard to figure out on my own and hard to buy quality I felt I could trust in the stores. (If you want to know more about the products I use, please message me on Facebook at </span><span style="color: #1d2129; font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: 14px; line-height: 18px; white-space: pre-wrap;"><a href="https://www.facebook.com/ChronicFatigueandCreativeDecluttering1">https://www.facebook.com/ChronicFatigueandCreativeDecluttering1</a></span></span><span style="color: #1d2129; font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 18px; white-space: pre-wrap;"> ) </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">For those of you who deal with illnesses, you may say to me that I do not understand; however, I do. It has taken years, finding the right supplements and meds, as well as working on the mental aspects of my life that had changed through illness and other things in my life. It has taken spiritual assessment and re-surrendering to Jesus/God. I am still a work in process: I will be until the day I see Jesus face to face.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif; font-size: 14px;">Finally, I would say, "Do not give up." Even a small amount of progress is progress. The steps backward will happen, and you will be tempted to say that this is an impossible journey; however, nothing is too hard for God. I have had plenty of steps backwards, but that just opened up an opportunity to take another step forward. It is easier than it was when I started, but every step forward leads to added achievements (small achievements add up). Sometimes, I fall into a funk and feel like a failure, but I know things are better here than they were. I keep chipping away. </span><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">It is worth it.<span style="font-size: 14px;"> </span></span><b><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"> </span><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">Again, I say, "It is worth it!"</span></b></div>
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<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">It is not just one thing that has helped me. It is a combination of things: spiritual, psychological, supplements (natural products), medication (I am actually taking less medication now), and action. I put spiritual first, because God is first in my life and I believe God has led me through this maze of life. I am on the path. Jesus is my Savior, and He did not say we would never see trouble, irregardless of what some prosperity gospel advocates and gurus seem to spout.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">One of the hardest barriers to break has been panic attacks involved with going to certain places and agoraphobia. </span><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">There are real psychological barriers that become entrenched in our brains. I am not going to even attempt to explain that here, but I have read about the loops that we can get stuck in; and, my understanding is there is a neurological, physical thing here involving neurons and synapses in the brain that can be broken through behavioral conditioning. I feel like I have had a small battering ram to get past some of the cyclical loops, then they tried to close in behind me to get me stuck again. I found a book that has been helpful. Also, I have a couple of other tools listed below that have been very helpful in breaking the cyclical loops caused by chemicals in the brain that affect fight and flight syndrome (anxiety and panic attacks). The reason I mention this is I know the things that hold us back can be complicated because of the mental and the physical things we have gone through (are going through). Even writing about this is starting to give me a bit of a headache: going over the past over and over again does not change a thing for me, but looking forward and taking baby steps has helped tremendously. Fearing what might come next is a fruitless exercise; but, living today as it is and taking small steps forward is life-changing. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"> Scriptures, Articles, and Books You May Find Helpful</span></h4>
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<ul>
<li><a href="https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Matthew%206%3A25-34&version=NIV" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;" target="_blank">Matthew 6:25-34</a></li>
<li><a href="http://www.beliefnet.com/inspiration/articles/stop-worrying-about-what-others-think-and-set-your-mind-on-christ.aspx" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;" target="_blank">Stop Worrying about What Others Think and Set Your Mind on Christ</a></li>
<li><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><a href="https://www.google.com/?ion=1&espv=2#q=claire+weekes+hope+and+help+for+your+nerves" target="_blank">Hope and Help for Your Nerves</a></span><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"> by Dr. Claire Weekes (This book has been like one of the final links in the chain of recovery for me. I wish I had discovered it years ago; however, wallowing in regret and bitterness over my path would be useless. For some reason, I never saw it in any of my counseling and research. I can only surmise that God knew I needed to walk the path I have walked to bring to my present and my future and for what reasons I went that way.)</span></li>
<li><a href="http://www.therapistsb.com/blog/post/5-4-3-2-1-coping-technique" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;" target="_blank">Coping Technique for grounding yourself if you feel an anxiety attack coming on or you are caught in a full blown panic attack.</a></li>
</ul>
<i style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">This is not an exhaustive list. I hope you find something here you can use. There are other coping techniques that have been helpful for me in the past, but I have listed the two that I use the most now along with scripture.</i></div>
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Deborah Boltonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16010919623550536062noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2356745854174666130.post-60463724792697279042016-05-10T13:20:00.000-04:002016-05-12T14:43:21.509-04:00Procrastination, Fatigue, Overwhelmed?<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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Let me begin this short thought piece with this clarification, which is you know your body better than anyone else. Well, hopefully you do. Maybe, there are some people that are not in touch with their bodies, so they are not sure when to rest and when to be active; but, I fully believe one can learn to know. Also, when in doubt, take baby steps and see how you feel.<br />
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Today, I have a job to do that I put off for<br />
<ul>
<li>when I wasn't tired.</li>
<li>when I didn't have something more important to do.</li>
<li>when I felt like it, which has nothing to do with how my body feels.</li>
</ul>
What I have found is putting off what needs to be done, just makes things worse. Whether it is picking up in your house, cleaning, writing a letter, making a phone call, getting that new router up and running, filling your weekly pill container, or any other chore you can thing of, it helps to pick one job and start it with a small step. One little step is the beginning to moving forward. <br />
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If I have hit a rocky road on my path to moving forward, I am still ahead of where I used to be, because I am building on the habits I had begun to establish. Even if I have steps backwards, I can use the same method of baby steps to return to keeping my house clean, getting rid of clutter, or any other job that needs to be done. Wallowing in guilt or failure is really not an option. It just keeps me frozen. I cannot wait until I feel "mentally" ready to get the job done. The step seems to be the thing that has to come first for me; then, the mental readiness gets easier.<br />
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This is written from my personal experience. It is my opinion, and it is not meant to be a diagnosis for changing anything in anyone else's life. I am simply sharing that by actually taking a small step to get something done, I am able to feel less overwhelmed. Taking baby steps helps me to break the cycle of procrastination. It encourages me to get moving and to move forward in my life. <br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">I hope small steps will help you move forward too.</span>Deborah Boltonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16010919623550536062noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2356745854174666130.post-56404295135399840562016-04-14T12:52:00.000-04:002016-04-14T12:52:30.065-04:00Relaxing into Change, Not Fighting A Battle<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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This morning, not soon after I woke up, I started thinking about the title of yesterday's blog post, <i><a href="http://learningtobalancelifechanges.blogspot.com/2016/04/fighting-battle.html" target="_blank">Fighting the Battle</a></i>. Sometimes, the word <i><b>fighting</b></i> may evoke angst and anxiety in individuals. Personally, I think a constant battle would be exhausting, both emotionally and physically; therefore, I think it is wise to have way to reframe thoughts on the words I am telling myself.<br />
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When I used the term <i>fighting the battle</i>, I was thinking of the grit it often takes to get on with life. However, that grit does not have to require raising one's cortisol level, nor demand pushing through despite any pain and anxiety you may feel. You may actually prepare your brain better for what you want to achieve by relaxing first. Here are some ideas I have used.<br />
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<ul>
<li>Get comfortable in a relaxed sitting position. You can gently recline if that is best for you.</li>
<li>Take easy, deep breaths. Breathe in through your nose, and Count 1, 2, 3, 4. Hold 1, 2, 3, 4. Let breath out through your mouth 1,2, 3, 4. Repeat several times.</li>
<li>Picture one thing you want to achieve and the steps to do it.</li>
<li>Now, envision doing the first step and do just that one step. You can continue on in this manner through each step, and you may find that what seemed so hard to do is easier than you felt before you changed your mindset about it.</li>
</ul>
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Another method I have used that gives me some visual cues to encourage me when I don't feel like cleaning house is focusing on one or two things that I want to do. Say I want to clear the dining room table of the stack that has grown there -- I can pick up an item, then put it away or throw it away, as I walk through that room. After I have done this several times, I have often been able to see the difference and I have not felt overwhelmed. In fact, I usually want to do more. </div>
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Note that it may take more than one picking up trip by the table to see the difference; however, congratulate yourself when trying this for taking each step: it's a good feeling and rewarding to see the pile get smaller. If you have a physical disability that requires pacing yourself, then make sure you limit the time spent working to your present ability. After a while, you may find you have built some physical endurance from the activity, as well as having eliminated the overwhelmed feeling you used to get from believing you have to clean the whole table or clean the whole room at once.</div>
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These two methods, that include preparing yourself to get a job done or simply picking one focused thing to do, are techniques that can help you break out of <i>feeling frozen</i> in a do nothing or a <i>do little state</i> without overwhelming pressure. This is relaxing into changing habits by a slow immersion, rather than pushing yourself into an anxiety attack. These are easily applicable <b>Baby Steps</b> that can be expanded into longer steps as you feel more comfortable with the habits you are working on. </div>
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Deborah Boltonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16010919623550536062noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2356745854174666130.post-54138852225938517412016-04-13T19:11:00.000-04:002016-04-13T21:34:09.176-04:00Fighting the BattleIt often seems like the battle is never ending when you have a chronic illness. Even when you have been seeing improvement, there are times you feel like you cannot throw off all the cords that have bound you. It seems they tighten and pull you down again.<br />
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The only thing I can say for getting through this is "keep on fighting." Rest between bouts; then, start moving forward again, one step at a time. <br />
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You may think that is easy for me to say. No! It is not! I know this, because I live it. I am living it right now. I am having to modify my behavior to fit my situation, and it is not easy. I start retreating into my little turtle shell, only wanting to be in situations where I feel comfortable, which is mostly at home; and, my step backwards throws me back into a loop that means I am having to regain ground on the habits I thought I had fixed. <br />
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<a href="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-LTgrt172pCg/UD_HiAenmjI/AAAAAAAAAHw/6Ct2ig4nl5MCGaESjjpDgtWFVPlPoZ0RwCKgB/s1600/OOPS.png" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="198" src="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-LTgrt172pCg/UD_HiAenmjI/AAAAAAAAAHw/6Ct2ig4nl5MCGaESjjpDgtWFVPlPoZ0RwCKgB/s200/OOPS.png" width="200" /></a>Has this ever happened to you? Have you ever had a relapse and ended up sitting around in your pajamas too much? Have you seen your house get a little messier (maybe a lot messier), and you have not cleaned your bathrooms and other areas as often as you normally do? <br />
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Have you ever had another member of your family become ill or had some other prolonged situation arise that sapped your strength and emotions? I bet I could name many things that may affect how you are able to handle your illness and responsibilities. However, the point I am making is not about what affects you, but what you do when you realize how far you have fallen from where you were.<br />
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I can write about the backward steps from experience, because I have lost count of how many times this has happened to me. Moreover, I am experiencing this now. I am having to climb my way up again, and it is worth it. My brain tries to get stuck in the old ruts and loop back into what used to be the <i>chronic illness norm</i> for me, which is quite depressing. Some of that dread I used to to feel in the morning upon awaking has tried to creep back into my life, and I am having to make behavior changes that include telling myself that the feelings will pass and it will be a good day. Praying and thinking of scripture before I even get out of the bed has helped too. <br />
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The point is not to give up, because there is still a race to run. It may be a very slow walk with one heavy foot in front of the other, but it is doable. It can be done, even when you do not immediately see large scale results. In fact, you may never see large scale results, but you can feel good whenever you take a baby step forward.<br />
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Here are my daily basic steps forward this week, and I am not limited to just these steps. In fact, I have already been able to achieve more. I am not listing obvious steps like self-grooming, eating, or taking medication and supplements; however, one certainly can do this when planning one's goals for the week.<br />
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<ul>
<li>Get dressed in something other than pajamas.</li>
<li>Do stress relieving exercises, such as slow counted breathing patterns.</li>
<li>Focus on one household chore at a time, and do not think about how much more needs to be done.</li>
<li>Enjoy reading my book without guilt.</li>
<li>Take a short stroll outside, because it is better than sitting in the house all day. </li>
<li>Do not talk negatively to yourself about all the things you have not done.</li>
</ul>
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These are my goals. What are yours?<br />
<br />Deborah Boltonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16010919623550536062noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2356745854174666130.post-2260391436778362562016-01-20T15:31:00.001-05:002016-01-20T15:35:48.126-05:00Avoiding Work or Any Other Thing in Your Life That Could Be Good For You<a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-PB9qUCcETC8/Vp_uP5cz3BI/AAAAAAAAFHA/eyN4j4z89O4/s1600/AVOIDANCE.png" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="252" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-PB9qUCcETC8/Vp_uP5cz3BI/AAAAAAAAFHA/eyN4j4z89O4/s320/AVOIDANCE.png" width="320" /></a>Do you ever have a day that you feel fine, but you really do not want to do any of the things you could do? I think I hit that day today. I really don't feel like I have done much that is significant: it has been my lull during the middle of the week. I feel great, but I realize I have used all kinds of avoidance techniques when there are obvious things I could do around here. <br />
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Do you know how to read the signs of avoidance? Do you blame it on fatigue or the blues? Do you know how to make yourself do some of the things you are not getting done? Do you really want the day to just slip away?<br />
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<span style="font-size: large; font-weight: bold;">Here are some of my obvious signs of avoidance. </span>Please keep in mind that I feel fine.<br />
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<ol>
<li>Staying in my p.j.'s. Yes, I know pajama days are a valid way of resting, but sometimes you just have to get regular clothes on to get moving.</li>
<li>Staying on the computer too long.</li>
<li>Walking by that bedroom chair that is piled with clothes.</li>
<li>Walking by that full clean laundry basket.</li>
<li>Starting to do a small cleaning project and getting conveniently distracted.</li>
<li>Thinking of all kinds of things you Could do, but staying on the computer too long.</li>
<li>Feeling bored when You have lots of things that you could do.</li>
<li>Feeling guilty that you feel good, and you know you could get ahead on your work; but, you get a cup of coffee or some sort of snack to munch on. (That is one I try to avoid.)</li>
</ol>
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I think I could probably come up with a much longer list, but I am tired of avoiding stuff. I think I am going to set my timer and do #8. After that, I will reboot my laundry or maybe I will do that first. Then, I am going to shower and wash my hair. I have really been avoiding that one, because it is cold here. Also, I am going to take the time to pat myself on the shoulder for the things I have gotten done, rather than feeling a vague sense of guilt and wondering if someone was judging me for sitting around a good part of the day. In fact, I am going to go ahead and congratulate myself for getting up today at an earlier hour, which is something I have been working on.<br />
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Here goes. I hope this will encourage you on one of your days of avoidance!!!!<br />
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<br />Deborah Boltonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16010919623550536062noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2356745854174666130.post-32730243114645565612016-01-17T18:14:00.002-05:002016-01-17T18:14:50.039-05:00Where Did That Dust Come From?I thought I had dusted everything last week, but my eyes saw a thick layer in the afternoon light. Where did that come from? How did I miss that cabinet in the breakfast area? It looked awful, and I had visions of dust spreading through my house.<br />
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Problem solved! I grabbed a microfiber dusting mitt and got busy. I wish I had timed myself, because surely this job took no longer than 2 or 3 minutes. Then, I threw the mitt in the towel laundry bin. Simple job. It was simple, because the clutter is gone from that area.Deborah Boltonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16010919623550536062noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2356745854174666130.post-1270043484408703602016-01-11T16:42:00.001-05:002016-01-11T16:42:59.736-05:00Dirty Walls in the Bathroom?Today, I was shocked as I swiped at the wall in my bathroom with my cleaning rag, and the rag had dirt on it. The walls did not look dirty or moldy. However, the dirt was on the rag, and I could not deny it. So after I cleaned a small portion of wall, which is all I will do at a time, I wondered how it got dirty.<br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-b03nBuwlNK4/VpQgxljBRWI/AAAAAAAAFGs/lL4AgnDsdSU/s1600/ID-100137597.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="320" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-b03nBuwlNK4/VpQgxljBRWI/AAAAAAAAFGs/lL4AgnDsdSU/s320/ID-100137597.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Image Courtesy of Mr GC / <a href="http://freedigitalphotos.net/">FreeDigitalPhotos.net</a></td></tr>
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Our bathrooms are places that get filled with steam; sometimes, we spray hairspray in our bathrooms, and the air in the house that circulates has dust in it, whether you dust regularly or not. The dust in turn sticks to the wall. Perhaps, it is not as obvious as the dust that collects on horizontal surfaces, but it is there just the same.<br />
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How should you clean your bathroom walls? If they are not moldy, a little spray detergent that does not have to be rinsed will do. Today, I actually used my rag that I used on my bathroom counter. My walls are made out of a material that does not have to be coddled like painted walls. Also, I did not go for the whole wall. I did a portion, and I will do another portion later -- I plan to use a sponge type mop or an extendable cleaning wand.<br />
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My bathrooms are clean, and it was easy. I even took the time to dust off three shelves in my main bathroom. Also, my toilets and sinks look great! I left a couple of jobs for later -- actually probably tomorrow. This is how to clean as you go along, so things do not pile up. <br />
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<blockquote class="tr_bq">
<span style="font-size: large;">Here is a helpful link to <i><a href="http://www.quickanddirtytips.com/house-home/housekeeping/how-to-keep-your-bathroom-clean-without-cleaning?page=all" target="_blank"><span style="color: #b45f06;">How to Keep Your Bathroom Clean Without Cleaning</span></a></i>. </span></blockquote>
Deborah Boltonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16010919623550536062noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2356745854174666130.post-12077209810692747522016-01-05T20:58:00.000-05:002016-01-05T20:58:25.755-05:00Baby Steps To A New Normal<div style="background-color: white; color: #141823; font-family: helvetica, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 19.32px; margin-bottom: 6px;">
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Yes. I know we are no longer preparing for the holidays, and you may still be tired from the extra activity. However, do you want all that hard work in 2015 to go to waste? Do you want to keep things up, or to have to work much harder than you should have to do the next time you expect company? Would you like to have a cleaner house in 2016? The zone for this week is the Kitchen. What a great way to start the year. The habit for this month is to shine your sink. It's<span class="text_exposed_show" style="display: inline;"> not too late to start. <a href="http://www.flylady.net/d/zones/zone-2/" rel="nofollow" style="color: #3b5998; cursor: pointer; text-decoration: none;" target="_blank">http://www.flylady.net/d/zones/zone-2/</a></span></div>
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I am putting in another plug in for FlyLady, because quite frankly, I would rather use my energy for living, than figuring out new ways to do jobs that can be done using her methods and encouragement. The important thing is to remember that this is a guideline. It is up to you to manage your time and body. <span style="line-height: 19.32px;">Let's aim for better, not perfect. I know I won't do it just like she does it, and you do not have to either. However, each day you are able you have something you can aim for. Baby Steps will get you there</span></div>
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<span style="line-height: 19.32px;">Make an uncluttered house your new normal for 2016. </span></div>
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Deborah Boltonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16010919623550536062noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2356745854174666130.post-26219565093719119232015-11-19T11:53:00.001-05:002015-11-19T11:53:35.529-05:00An Example of Creative Cleaning or Do You Really Hate Cleaning the Kitchen?!<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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At the beginning of November, I told you that we were going to do November 2015 Kitchen Challenge on my Facebook Page. This is what I wrote over there today with none of the lists of emptying the dishwasher or shining the sink. The thing that I see as significant in this is some people really do not like cleaning the kitchen. Their focus is elsewhere, and they are always ready to be doing something other than that. For some reason, the kitchen looms as a huge overwhelming almost unconquerable mountain. However, it is just a room that we all need to use. Even if you buy takeout, you are probably going to have to wash something in the kitchen, make some tea, or occasionally fix a snack. Following is what I wrote on Facebook today with the part I especially want you to read italicized.</div>
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"Hopefully you are halfway or more done with wiping down your cabinets in the kitchen. If you are not and you need a break, take it! <span style="font-family: helvetica, arial, sans-serif; font-size: large; font-weight: bold;"> </span><i><span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">The cabinets are not going anywhere. I am thinking about people who might have had weeks that have not quite fallen into the grooves they planned. If you are feeling behind, that is just part of life: it is Not an indicator of your worth. </span></i><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"> </span>Jump in there and work on the glaring things in your kitchen. If you have a couple of pots sitting on the stove or in the sink, wash one. Give yourself permission to take a break. </div>
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<span data-offset-key="pagf-0-0"><i><span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">After the break, wash another pot. This is one of the things I mean about creative decluttering. Maybe, you really hate cleaning the kitchen, but you don't want a dirty kitchen either. Make a game out of this. Set the timer. Do what you need to do. You may actually find it is not the awful chore you thought it was. As you see the pile in your kitchen get smaller, you will feel encouraged. One day, it may even feel like almost nothing to go in the kitchen and clean it up: you will just go in there and do it.</span><span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"> <span style="font-size: 14px;"> </span></span></i><span style="font-family: helvetica, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px;"><b>Done!!!!!</b>"</span></span></div>
Deborah Boltonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16010919623550536062noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2356745854174666130.post-59400250155122978432015-11-18T20:57:00.000-05:002015-11-18T20:57:49.832-05:00My Shoe Palooza<div style="text-align: left;">
Picture me as I walk in the house, and change to the shoes I like to wear as I work around here. Or, if I am going to lounge around, I change to a pair of shoes that are easy to slip on and off. I do not like sitting in a recliner with shoes on. It makes lounging uncomfortable. Sometimes, it makes my ankles hurt. How do you like to lounge when you put your feet up?</div>
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Where do the shoes I take off usually go?</div>
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: small;">It looked lots worse than this<br /> on my bedroom floor. <br /> I had at least eight pairs of shoes<br /> strewn around my bedroom</span>.</td></tr>
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If I am being exceptionally neat, they usually are in a neat row under a chair in my bedroom, because I may want to change those shoes for another activity. Right? Ha, ha! They might be at the foot of my bed. Why on earth would I want to put them in my closet? I would just have to find them, because I have shoes in my shoe hanging bags, that I hardly ever wear. Some of them have been there so long, they are dusty.</div>
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<a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-m4FSyrr19UU/Vk0nziqKcOI/AAAAAAAAFFc/JHmX6ouDxEQ/s1600/IMG_4423.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="200" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-m4FSyrr19UU/Vk0nziqKcOI/AAAAAAAAFFc/JHmX6ouDxEQ/s200/IMG_4423.JPG" width="150" /></a>That has been one of the messy things about me, that I have glossed over in my mind. If I just didn't get too many shoes out at a time, I could rationalize this behavior of rarely putting my shoes away. Well, I have now forced myself to do something about the shoes in the bedroom. When I vacuumed this week, I threw them all in the hallway, except for my slippers and flip-flops. Our closet is at the end of the hallway, because it was added later and I don't think people even had closets when this house was built. That night I told my husband I was too tired to put the shoes away in the closet, but I would get to it later, and I made sure they were where nobody would trip over them.</div>
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Today, I went into my closet with the mindset I was going to get rid of any shoes I had not worn in the last year, shoes that were a hazard to my health, and shoes that were uncomfortable. I emptied out most of my two hanging shoe organizers and dusted off shoes I wear. I sorted my shoes into give aways, throw aways, and put aways. I did keep a pair of heels I am saving to wear with a really cute dress when my weight gets down enough. I can rationalize that, because I am actually losing weight and I love that dress. Then, I sorted through the shoes in the hallway. I actually did have pair of hazardous to my health sandals: it is amazing I have not tripped as they turned sideways on me while I was walking through the house. I saved an old pair of walking (tennis shoes) that I like to use outside if I have to walk through wet grass with the dog or some other little chore. I would wear them for gardening, even though I cannot use them for walking shoes anymore. </div>
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Today, I have probably been more honest with myself about my shoes; and, it is not that I never told the truth to myself about it. I have gotten rid of other pairs of shoes over the years, but I found myself not wanting to give up something that <i><b>was</b></i> supposed to be comfortable. Not only that, I felt guilty about getting rid of shoes I might wear again. However, the truth is that even though a shoe may feel comfortable in the store and seem like the right shoe, there are times a shoe ends up being something that my foot slips out of as I walk or it is not stable enough for my feet and gait.I am getting better about my choices, but sometimes I mess up. </div>
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This time I did it. At this moment, not even my slippers are on my bedroom floor. I am going to work on putting my shoes away every time. <span style="font-size: large;">Baby steps!</span></div>
<br />Deborah Boltonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16010919623550536062noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2356745854174666130.post-45369581798257365312015-11-08T21:07:00.001-05:002015-11-09T14:20:44.412-05:00The Never Ending StoryAnd you thought that one day the whole house would be cleaned, never to be messed up again? How I wish that was true for me. It really does seem to be a never ending story, so I keep removing items from the household, avoid buying anything we do not really need, and I fortify my mind and body to do more. Or, in simpler language, I psych myself up to clean an area I have let get out of hand -- Again.<br />
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While we have been doing the first week of the November 2015 Kitchen Challenge, I have been sorting out my dining/office/craft room. I was working on the old kitchen, also known as the breakfast room, but it ended up being a repository for things I had to get out of the way in the dining room. Actually, it started the other way around. I have been in this process of throw away, give away, rearrange, and I am happy with what I have in the dining room right now. <br />
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I did not take a picture of the dining room before this time, but it was unpleasant. I had sewing things out that were not being used, because I did not even want to be in that room. My sideboard was piled high, because I kept setting things there. I have a great word for it: Yucky! It looked awful. And, I couldn't dust, because there was not any point in dusting the mess that I kept walking by. I felt overwhelmed by it. <br />
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Here are some pictures. I haven't done anything special to the dining table other than dust it, because I need to cut out some curtains.<br />
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">November, 2015</td></tr>
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">October, 2014</td></tr>
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If you could see the plates, you would see that they have blue, orange, red, green, and yellow in the design. I see a rolled up wall hanging in the left corner; but quite frankly, this is an undecided item for me, which I cannot quite bring myself to let go. I keep thinking I may have someplace to put it someday. I could bring myself to give it away to someone who really loved it. So yes, I do have things I am undecided on giving away. I guess I will have to put it in the cedar chest or a closet.<br />
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<b>On the Left:</b><br />
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I am so proud of my craft corner. It has been vacuumed, dusted, and reorganized. My paints and other small items have gone into drawers. I used to have other things in those drawers, but I threw away the things that have been there for too long, put some Christmas towels in a giveaway bag, and I put the Christmas hand towels I wanted to keep in a closet with other towels.<br />
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That is my poor breakfast room table that got things piled on it again; however, I have been setting my timer and it is almost cleared.<br />
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<span style="text-align: center;">Here I am viewing the breakfast room into </span><span style="text-align: center;">the kitchen. Can you see I was dusting?</span><br />
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The picture below shows a work in progress. I moved my coffee maker, and I don't like the way this looks. However, the important thing is it is clean. While I have been working on other areas, I continue to work on the kitchen. I am keeping up with it. How are you doing with yours? Do it as you go along every day, and it will be easier than letting it pile up. <br />
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<a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-dCT6GWpPtOY/Vj_x9FzG6bI/AAAAAAAAFFA/haYijTaYA20/s1600/IMG_4420.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em; text-align: left;"><img border="0" height="320" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-dCT6GWpPtOY/Vj_x9FzG6bI/AAAAAAAAFFA/haYijTaYA20/s320/IMG_4420.JPG" width="240" /></a>Finally, I want to say a word about older kitchens versus newer kitchens. If you are anything like me, you admire the gorgeous kitchens in magazines, as well as those featured on the internet. The house I lived in prior to this one had beautiful granite counter tops and everything in it was new. It belonged in a magazine. Due to circumstances beyond my control, I had to move. I missed that kitchen, but I was very sick when we lived at that house and it was hard for me to clean. As lovely as that whole house was, I did not enjoy it when it was messy and cluttered. <br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">If you have all kinds of gadgets and no room for them, it merely ends up being frustrating. If your house is full of things you have not used for years, you are doing yourself a disservice by surrounding yourself with clutter. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">Finally, this week the November 2015 Kitchen Challenge continues. We are building habits. Each day, I will post a new challenge on my Facebook page. Join me at <a href="https://www.facebook.com/ChronicFatigueandCreativeDecluttering1?ref=hl" target="_blank">Fatigue, Creative Decluttering, and a Better Life.</a> </span></span></div>
Deborah Boltonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16010919623550536062noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2356745854174666130.post-59819914121601568272015-11-04T19:06:00.000-05:002015-11-05T03:50:19.620-05:00Preparing For the Holidays Starts Now<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
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<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Think about whether you are going to do Christmas decorations this year. Do you have to get out several boxes to get to them? Do you have a room or a corner of a room that is not in use? This is where you want to put those boxes, so you don't always have them in sight. This week, go through that room, starting at the door and work around the room from left to right. Work 15 minutes at a time picking up, throwing away, and giving away. 3 boxes or hampers to sort this will help. Make sure you PUPA--PICK UP, PUT AWAY. I suggest 15 minutes a day on this room. If you want to work more, remember we are concentrating on the kitchen and you have tidying to do in other rooms. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">It depends where you are in your own personal health and life, whether or not you should put up many holiday decorations. Could you be satisfied with just a few holiday touches in the house? After all, you do not want being overworked, which can steal the joy of celebrating from you. Also, what is put up has to be taken down.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Things to consider:</span><br />
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<li><span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Do you have help with putting up the decorations and taking them down?</span></li>
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<li><span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">How can you make the holiday easier this year? ~smaller tree; only decorating your mantel; buying precooked food for some of the special holiday meals; pot-luck or assigned dishes for a holiday meal and do it buffet style; gift cards for presents; asking adult family members to give to favorite charities or to some special needs families this year, because you plan to do the same. </span></li>
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Deborah Boltonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16010919623550536062noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2356745854174666130.post-49934531154058839742015-11-02T11:44:00.000-05:002015-11-02T11:44:38.342-05:00November 2015 Kitchen Challenge<br />
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Breaking your housework into small steps works in all rooms of your house. For the month of November, I am sponsoring a Kitchen Challenge on my <a href="https://www.facebook.com/ChronicFatigueandCreativeDecluttering1?ref=hl" target="_blank">Facebook Page: Fatigue, Creative Decluttering, and a New Life</a> . I will be posting suggestions several times each week for your encouragement. If you want to be an active participant in the comments, you could share what you have done in your kitchen and how you think making cleaning your kitchen a priority has freed you to do other things in your home or elsewhere.</div>
Deborah Boltonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16010919623550536062noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2356745854174666130.post-83105095809263751942015-10-31T15:20:00.002-04:002015-10-31T15:20:53.163-04:00The Home's Launchpad<table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: right; margin-left: 1em; text-align: right;"><tbody>
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Whether preparing a holiday feast or just keeping up with the day to day tidying, a clean kitchen is a launch pad for raising our spirits and enjoying our homes. Nobody likes to work in a cluttered kitchen with dirty dishes piled in the sink and in some cases on the counters. Wiping off the counters and table tops in your kitchen are so much easier to handle when done after every meal and each cooking task in the kitchen. I know this sounds difficult to some of you, and I do not want you to fall into the perfectionist trap that you have to do it perfectly every time.<br />
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Every time you work on the task of cleaning the kitchen, you are building better habits, particularly when you make an effort to do it throughout the day, rather than letting things pile up. Some people think they have to do housework in wholes: clean the entire refrigerator, scrub both sides of the sink, wipe off all the counters, etc. However, not everyone finds that an acceptable and easy thing to do. <br />
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The truth is that whether you are bursting with energy, whether you are 18 or 80, whether you have a chronic illness or not, whether you would just rather do something else -- it is easier and quicker to spend short amounts of time working on the kitchen. It frees you to do other things you need to do or you want to do. Whether you have a very messy kitchen or it is not bad at all, this is an excellent time to concentrate on this area. If you have family coming for the holidays, it may be just the thing to get a kind of rhythm going in your life, where it just seems like the norm to spend 10 or 15 minutes cleaning up the kitchen several times a day.<br />
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Join me for the Kitchen Challenge during the month of November. I think you may actually be surprised at how easy tidying your kitchen can be. And remember, baby steps will get you there. Perfectionism is not an option. Let it go. <br />
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<br />Deborah Boltonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16010919623550536062noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2356745854174666130.post-35104666055591896522015-10-28T13:54:00.000-04:002015-10-28T13:56:39.413-04:0015 Minutes: A Short Amount of Time<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">Today, I read this on on <a href="http://flylady.net/c/fp.php?tzm=240" target="_blank">FlyLady's flight plan</a>:</span><br />
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<span style="background-color: rgba(254, 254, 242, 0.85098); color: #222222;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><i>Today I want you to spend 15 minutes getting rid of anything that does not belong in your living room. Things that have gotten thrown in a corner, on a chair, or even the floor. If you have children get them involved. Make it a family game with the timer. If you do not have any kids set the timer for yourself! You should only declutter for 15 minutes, and when the timer goes off sit down and breathe.</i></span></span><br />
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<span style="background-color: rgba(254, 254, 242, 0.85098); color: #222222;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">Then, I thought, "What a short amount of time fifteen minutes is." Of course, I suppose that is relative to how you feel or what that fifteen minutes might contain; but, it really is a small segment of a day in comparison to the rest of the things you do during a day. </span></span><br />
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<span style="background-color: rgba(254, 254, 242, 0.85098);"><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><span style="color: #222222;">When I think about the time that passes so quickly when I am immersed in a reading a book, playing a game, reading email, or writing--15 minutes seems minuscule. It makes me wonder why it is often hard to get started earlier in the day on household tasks. Truthfully, it does seem that getting started earlier would be better, rather than doing a dozen other things first that are not going to make my surroundings more pleasant or more efficient. 15 minutes of housework spread through the day several times Each Day would make the process of keeping things tidy a walk in the park rather than a marathon. </span></span></span><br />
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<span style="color: #222222; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><span style="background-color: rgba(254, 254, 242, 0.85098);">15 minutes of tidying, spread throughout my day, will leave me plenty of time to do the other things I want to do, as well as the things I must do. Furthermore, I will avoid that overwhelmed feeling that happens when one is always playing "catch up." </span></span><br />
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<span style="color: #222222; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><span style="background-color: rgba(254, 254, 242, 0.85098);">Take the first step. Decide what needs to be done first. Set my timer. Get moving!!!</span></span>Deborah Boltonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16010919623550536062noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2356745854174666130.post-74470261125971801982015-10-02T13:37:00.000-04:002015-10-02T13:37:31.371-04:00Do You Ever Fake It Til You Make It?<table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: right; margin-left: 1em; text-align: right;"><tbody>
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Image Courtesy of artur84<br /><a href="http://www.freedigitalphotos.net/">www.freedigitalphotos.net</a></td></tr>
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Today, I want to share an article, which I will list at the end of this page. I think it sums up some of what we have to do when we are working on our habits and our attitudes. I can think of many excellent ways to apply the information by Karen Koenig, therapist and author of <u>Normal Eating</u>. Practice: does it ever end? Sometimes, I think not, as I learn and hopefully improve my own actions, thoughts, and feelings in life. <br />
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However, I have to admit I do have an aversion to being fake, so where do I draw the line? I want to be authentic. Is there a place you draw the line?<br />
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Let's explore that by listing some of the ways we might "fake it 'til we make it." Perhaps you can add some ways you have done this in our discussion on facebook or here in our comments.<br />
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Ways I have or am working on faking it until I make it:<br />
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<li>I am not totally sure this applies, because it is such an ongoing thing, and I honestly do keep working at this; however, I am not completely there (wherever there is) yet. It is the area of keeping down clutter in the house. I have made such wonderful progress over the last five years in that area; however, sometimes my house gets out of hand when I am working on a project or life takes over in unexpected ways. Then, I have to regroup; and, I used to feel like I was starting all over again, but that has changed. Now, I have all the habits and things I have learned and relearned whch fall back into place so much easier than before. Moreover, I have made such great progress in getting rid of years of stuff that I think most people tend to save if they have room, which we do not have in this particular house. I am not done yet, but I am closer. And, it is actually fun when you realize that you are freer by being able to get rid of the detritus.</li>
<li>Emotions is a hot topic. But, I have a body that gets that cortisol thing going when I get anxious and upset. It starts a cycle that can get out of hand, because it hurts so much. I hate that chemicals in our body have such power over our physical selves and our brains; but, I am certain that is part of my genetic makeup. And, it also is part of what makes me sensitive to how others feel. The things that help me and have helped me in the past are: prayer, scripture, relaxation techiniques, running (I can't do that now), walking on the beach or in a park, reading, even playing a game (unless the computer is fueling my anxiety), doing a crossword puzzle, cleaning house. Ha, ha, I never thought that last one would show up on my list, but if clutter is the source of the anxiety it makes me feel better to have neat and organized surroundings</li>
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My list is not exhaustive, because I only meant it as an example, and I am not so concerned with the past, so much as how this can help us now. Although, I did think about one that applies that happened to me today. My dog is super sensitive to my emotions. She even gets diarrhea when I am upset. I am pretty sure that is the connection to her tummy problem. Today, I was dealing with something that has had my cortisol flowing like crazy streams. My anxiety was palpable, like you could touch it. And, I saw her cringe. I realized she was feeling my upset. So, "Fake It Until I Make It" went into immediate action. We have a game where I say, "Let's cuddle-buddle." She jumps on the bed. I lay across it, and she gets a tummy rub. It started when I was not able to get down on the floor before my hip surgery when she was a puppy. She is the only dog that has ever been allowed on the furniture or in the bed. I realize I have totally spoiled her in that one way. </div>
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The thing is the actions I took with our dog actually helped me feel better. Now, I am writing and I feel pretty good. Admittedly, I took half of a pill for anxiety, but this time I had to. I am so glad that panic attacks are not something that regularly happen to me anymore, but I do keep my medicine on hand for the rare moments. Lately, I have cut them in half, because I so rarely need them, a whole tab makes me feel sleepy. From my view, that is progress. </div>
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I hope this helps you in some way. I can see many ways to apply Koenig's excellent article. I am so glad she reached out past her practice to help people. She could not possibly see all the people she has encouraged. Here is the link: <i><a href="https://www.blogger.com/I%20can%20think%20of%20many%20excellent%20ways%20to%20apply%20this%20information%20written%20by%20Karen%20Koenig.%20%20Practice:%20%20does%20it%20ever%20end?%20%20Sometimes,%20I%20think%20not,%20as%20I%20learn%20and%20hopefully%20improve%20my%20own%20actions,%20thoughts,%20and%20feelings%20in%20life.%20%20%20%20However,%20I%20have%20to%20admit%20I%20h" target="_blank">Fake It Til You Make It Equals Practice</a></i>.</div>
Deborah Boltonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16010919623550536062noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2356745854174666130.post-53729562643251526962015-10-01T16:53:00.002-04:002015-10-01T16:53:42.466-04:00Link to a Great Article About "How Clutter Affects Your Brain."<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
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<span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I found this fantastic article on a subject near and dear to me. It is perfect that I found it today, because October is my month to get back on track in several areas of my life. Moreover, I know that entails cleaning the clutter out of all areas of my life. To do that is going to take more than a month: it is really an ongoing process. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">The point is that I think better, do my daily work better, and I manage life better when I do not let clutter get the best of me. I am dividing the following article into manageable sections and planning on seeing how I can best apply it to my life. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Blessings! I hope you enjoy reading <i><a href="http://lifehacker.com/how-clutter-affects-your-brain-and-what-you-can-do-abo-662647035" target="_blank">How Clutter Affects Your Brain (and what you can do about it)</a> </i>by Mikael Cho. And, I hope he does not mind me pointing you to his well-written article. I loved knowing about how the brain is actually affected by clutter, which is no surprise to me.</span>Deborah Boltonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16010919623550536062noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2356745854174666130.post-84926801575267806732015-09-15T14:34:00.000-04:002015-09-15T14:34:13.277-04:00A Selfish House-guest, Oh My!What was your first thought when you saw the title <i>A Selfish House-guest, Oh My!</i>? Did you think of people seeing your cluttered house, sorrow that you are embarrassed to have anyone over, or worry that you would be worn out by preparing for any house-guest? <div>
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Only the first part of my title is original, because I am actually pointing you to another article that made me curious. I never expected to be confronted with the idea that Clutter is a guest in my home, nor all the things that it keeps me from. Even though, my home is better than it was, I am still working on it. Of course, some things about keeping house are ongoing, but Clutter fills one with a sense of guilt and obligation. Please read on by clicking on <a href="http://www.flylady.net/d/br/author/flylady/" target="_blank">FlyLady's article called Your Selfish Houseguest</a>. I just had to share it with you. </div>
Deborah Boltonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16010919623550536062noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2356745854174666130.post-44742845340324623812015-09-10T19:04:00.000-04:002015-09-10T19:04:33.542-04:00Instant Feel Good Moment<table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: left; margin-right: 1em; text-align: left;"><tbody>
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This morning, I had an excellent feel good moment from something that almost anyone can do each day. This is something that was an instant lift to my spirit.<br />
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Let me explain. I sat down in my chair in the living room, as I swallowed my morning medicine; and, I saw a pile that I could tell was going to drain some of the good feelings from my spirit. It was a mishmash of a massage thing with rollers that go up and down your back, electric cords, and the heating pad. I know I left it there with the idea that I would only have to reach for it if I needed it; <br />
however, it was so depressing seeing that pile there. And, I had not used it for a couple of days.<br />
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I picked that pile up: put the heating pad in it's drawer and put the roller thingy away. Pile gone: spirit better. It was as easy as that--less than 5 minutes, folks! You can do this too!<br />
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<br />Deborah Boltonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16010919623550536062noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2356745854174666130.post-11475907108985163692015-09-02T12:28:00.001-04:002015-09-02T12:28:31.872-04:00Not Worth It To Stress Over Unplanned Interruptions<br />
Yesterday was one of those days that I had unexpected work and interruptions that I had not planned.<br />
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">image courtesy of Iamnee<br />
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Unfortunately, that meant I didn't do the things I had planned to do. While I found it unsettling, I also found it educational, because I could have let myself be thrown into old feelings of inadequacy, which does not do myself, nor anyone in my family any good.<br />
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I did spend about 30 minutes working on organizing the Guest Room, in which I made the mistake of pulling out more than I could get done in one day. Unfortunately, it was one of those times I really <b><i>had</i></b> to get to the back of the stack in the closet to go through what was there. This week, my goal is to put that room back to rights, but I continue to do it bit by bit, step by baby step. I want to be ready for company at any time, and I do not want to have to do an emergency cleanup session, so steady I go, chipping away at it.<br />
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In the past, I have had that room guest ready . It was me pulling out the boxed clutter that made the mess, as well as throwing things in that room from other rooms. Does anyone else ever take out too much, making a bigger mess in the process of cleaning things up?<br />
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Why am I telling you all this? I want you to realize that getting rid of clutter is ongoing. Sometimes, it is an imperfect process that seems like it will never get done. And unfortunately, there is some truth in that. Most people have paperwork they have to save, things they have not gotten to, and work that begs to be done that day, not later. Some things are immediate, and you cannot put them off to another day. It does not mean you are doing anything wrong or your schedule is going to be permanently messed up. Like <a href="http://www.flylady.net/" target="_blank">FlyLady </a>says, "Jump in where you are." <br />
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">image courtesy of marin<br />
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Take one step at a time, and know that you will again be back to working in that room you neglected. Keep making the circle in your zone work. If you have a few extra minutes and the energy, pop into that room that got out of control and work on it for a few minutes. However, it is not worth stressing over. Stressing over the way your house looks will not make you healthier or happier. <br />
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I hope this helps. Keeping your house clean does not end. It is an ongoing process. Keeping out the clutter seems to be an ongoing process too. The thing that I really want us all to learn is to be smart in how we go about it. And, of course, the less we have to clean and move around, the easier it will be. So, keep on getting rid of that clutter. We can do it! You can do it!<br />
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Deborah Boltonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16010919623550536062noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2356745854174666130.post-81997645909557814772015-08-27T18:58:00.000-04:002015-08-27T18:58:45.989-04:00My List Grew?<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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Did you ever make a short list of things you needed to do, and you wondered why it took you so long to complete it? Or, maybe you have felt frustrated and fussed at yourself about not getting enough done. Take a deep breath. Now, breathe slowly. That's right. Relax. Maybe, you have just gotten more done than you think you did. </h3>
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There have been many times in the past that I looked around me, and I felt like I was inadequate; because, I have high expectations of myself. Then, my expectations got less after realize I was simply too sick to get everything done. I was not able, so letting go of some of my expectations of myself was a matter of saving my "sanity." I learned to be content to do less, which in that setting was okay. However, now things are different. I feel better, I actually have more I want to get done; and, I know I can do more. Can you see where I am going with this?<br />
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I started letting some of my perfectionism start creeping back in. I took on more and more, because I could. I finally let some blogs and Facebook pages go, because I saw that I was working more than taking time to smell the roses or clean my house. However, I still had Mr. Perfectionist sitting on my shoulder, saying "That sure is a short list. You did not do enough today. Why aren't you doing more? You need to manage your time better." <br />
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<a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-alOCItqv9M8/Vd-UG1k_nhI/AAAAAAAAFAU/zIscQ5gTKxE/s1600/pizap.com14407135135471.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-alOCItqv9M8/Vd-UG1k_nhI/AAAAAAAAFAU/zIscQ5gTKxE/s320/pizap.com14407135135471.jpg" width="320" /></a>Today, I knocked that burden off my shoulder. I had my list. I took a much deserved break to eat lunch and read a novel. It's a Christian novel, and the things that were being said in the story kept speaking to me. Then, I started reflecting on this list, and I decided to write down everything I had done that day. Actually, I probably forgot something, because there are so many small things we do that we do not even think about just to get one basic job done. Moreover, I know I will do other things that are important that are not even listed on my long list.<br />
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If you ever feel like I did--inadequate, frustrated you are not up to your or someone else's expectations (roll my eyes), imperfect (well, aren't we all?), or unfinished--make yourself a list of all the things you have achieved for that day. You might surprise yourself!<br />
<br />Deborah Boltonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16010919623550536062noreply@blogger.com0