Saturday, October 26, 2013

Doctor's Orders: "New Morning" Part 2

Image Courtesy of [David Castillo Dominici]/
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I am quite tired of thinking about my illnesses as much as I have since Wednesday.  It's time to change to a more positive focus.  Even though one cannot lie to one's self about being sick, it does not have to rule every moment of one's life.

My husband remembers what I was like before I was sick.  It must be hard on him too, but it's hard for me to see, because he is the one that gets to do things I cannot do. To be honest, it must be hard for our caregivers and spouses to see the changes in us. 
Last night, my husband and I had one of those serious conversations, and he said something like, "You never wake up and say it is a good morning."   

That is probably because I never have a really good night's sleep, and I have always been a bit slow in the morning, even when I got up and fixed the whole family's breakfast, and got the kids off to school.  I usually drove them to school.  Coffee has always been a part of my mornings as an adult.  And then, I usually needed a caffeine pick up in the afternoon too.

Guess what I did this morning.  We were both awake and out of bed, and I kind of did my morning groan;  then, I looked out the window at the sunny, cold morning and said, "Oh!  What a beautiful day!"  

My husband said, "Don't be sarcastic."

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So I looked out the other window, which was mostly frosted over and  looked out the corner, and I said, "It's sunny.  I feel good."

Then he said, "Don't rub it in."

We both kind of grinned, and I think I feel better emotionally this morning.  I think the devil was doing a number on me.  Let's see if we can make Debby feel bad about herself and guilty for being sick.  For a couple of days, I fell for it. 

Image Courtesy of [Julie A. Wenskoski]/FreeDigitalPhotos.net



Lamentations 3:22-24 KJV says:
It is of the Lord's mercies that we are not consumed, because his compassions fail not.
They are new every morning: great is thy faithfulness.
The Lord is my portion, saith my soul; therefore will I hope in him.

Today, every morning is new kept going through my mind.  Thank the Lord for new mornings.  The anguish of last night is gone, even though I have work to do.  And even though I may not be able to move as much as the doc wants, I know I need to move aerobically more than I do--if I can.

Baby Steps.

And I haven't changed my mind about looking for a new doctor.  I need to find one that understands what is going on with me.  Too bad the doc didn't know me when I was younger:  he would know I was a dancer and a jogger that often ran 3 miles several times a week.  The most I ran was six miles.  Oh, those were the days, my friend.  I also dancercized and jazzercized on a regular basis--pre-Zumba--ha, ha.  I guess that tells how old I am.

Oh so much for recollections.  But don't you ever want to tell the doctor, "I used to be slim and active?  I did not get this way over night.  I got sick, and I started taking medication, and I started gaining weight.  I could not stop gaining weight, even though I walked and ate a healthy diet."  Not everyone that gains weight eats all the wrong food.

Oh, oh!  I feel myself slipping into defensive mode again.  I'm over it.  I have to deal with where I am now.  

We all have to deal with the present.  The past is past.  God's mercies are new every morning.  He is faithful even if no one else understands, even when we do not understand.

2 comments:

  1. Yes! Hang in there! It is sooo easy to give into negative thoughts when we really need the positive energy that thinking positive and looking for the blessings in each day give us.

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    Replies
    1. Amen, Bessie. Thank you for the encouragement.

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It's always lovely hearing from you. xoxo, Deborah